Sleazy Youtube Reviews

Sleazy Youtube Reviews
By Sebastian Howard

I was watching All The Presidents Men (great movie so far, love the main character) and the movie got me in the mood to write! It’s mostly a journalistic, somewhat bio-pic of these news journalists cracking the Water -Gate story. And just watching them put all this time and dedication into writing gets you pumped… especially when you’re really high. So I’m just going to go through random shows, pick out a match or two that I like and review them. I don’t feel like doing full shows because they’re just too damn draining. I’m also having to use Youtube/Dailymotion instead of torrents, because my friends computer is too retarded to run torrents.

Fun real life moment of the week, got bitched out by the manager of a Walgreens for trying to bum a cigarette from these old ladies. I told her she was a dumb bitch, and David and I drove off into the sunset… holding hands and giggling. I think we were drunk… wait, no, we were waiting to get drunk later. So we were sober… shut up, it’s not gay!

The real story however, is that Jeb Bush has a huge chance of running…. and I must admit, begrudgingly… has a decent chance of winning the election. Listen people, vote Demo. DO NOT VOTE FOR A BUSH!!! It doesn’t matter your opinions of Obama, or Demo’s in general, we do not need a repeat of the terrible 2000s. Also, The Interview. It is complete bullshit that The Interview got cut, but in all honesty I can see the thought process behind it. The Interview can’t be released in movie theaters because no one will take the risk of a Terrorist attack, and they’re not going to make too much money by putting it On Demand. It’s best to sit it out, and decide on the best course of action. However, if Sony really does cave in entirely, they’re going to look very, very bad…. and probably get bullied some more.

As for my life, my never ending job hunt doesn’t look close to ending. My Grandma is getting pretty antsy about the whole deal of me staying at the house with no moolah on me. I feel kind of bad for her having to support me, but at this point I have no alternative. I’m considering going into the Air Force (even though the Basic Training is going to be fucking Hell, and I’ll have to go six months with my beautiful cigs) for the free College Tuition, and other benefits you get from it. It would also be cool to start earning my own money, and not have to depend on my Grandma to get everything for me (SHE’S BUYING MY CIGARETTES RIGHT NOW!!!). At least in Washington I had a job working with my Dad, and had my own salary… here I’m just a bum. Well, not literally, though I was literally homeless for a while in Wenatchee… but I was getting paid then dammit!

BTW, on the CM Punk shoot promo, all I have to say is a thousand yesses. CM Punk is the shit, and is right about everything ever, and Caliber just can’t understand his greatness… God, he’s even married to AJ Lee, and pissed off half the IWC. I mean, he’s my hero. I was Straight Edge for two and half years because of how fucking cool Punk is.

Now onto the random matches, I’m thinking about doing a 2004 themed thing, and doing Raw, TNA, Smackdown, and some of the PPV’s from that time, and pick out certain matches from each show.

1st Match: Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho (C) for the Intercontinental Championship From Raw, Sep. 20, 2004

Every one blows the Mania match, and the 08′ feud, but Michaels and Jericho had two pretty decent matches, one in 2003 Raw, and one in this year. Christian joins JR and King for commentary, to intimidate Shawn Michaels… even though the commentator table in 2004 was like a million feet away.

Shawn Michaels and Jericho trade wrist locks… and Jericho reverses into an ARM-baaaaaaaaaar. Shawn rolls on top of Jericho for two, but Jericho bridges out, and tries to bridge pin Michaels, but Michaels kicks out of it. Run around sequence, and Shawn tries to skin the cat, BUT JERICHO AIN’T HAVING NONE OF THAT SHIT!!! and just punches Shawn in the face! Shawn comes back with some chops… some pussy ass chops so Jericho uses some Canadian Violence. They go upstairs and Shawn reverses a superplex attempt into a pancake suplex. Follows that up with his elbow, and that sequence was actually really well done, and had a natural bridge for Shawn’s elbow compared to his usual, overly unrealistic set up.

Alright, I had to stop doing this review at David’s as I got occupied. See, he wanted to go to sleep in the room I was using the computer, so I had to stay off for the night. I started reading Castle in The Forest (heh, those Slendermen chicks never found it… no one who doesn’t follow the news is going to get that reference) and I did so for a couple hours… being high makes reading pretty interesting. Anyway, after a bit I started to get really damn hungry. And there is fucking nothing to eat at David’s. His mom will make dinner, but that’s usually about it. The only thing in the damn house to eat was Ramen, and I swear to God, if I have to eat one more thing of Ramen at his fucking house…. Anyway, I decided to take David’s Mom’s bike, and go to Walmart at five in the morning to steal some Beef Jerky. I got there thinking it was going to be a piece of cake because, its five in the fucking morning you know? But when I actually got there, the place was crawling with Walmart worker scum. I ended up learning that its actually harder to steal early in the morning at stores because there’s no next to no customers and shit load of workers… just crawling all over the place and staring at you like some kind of fucked up security. I ended up putting the Beef Jerky in my Jean Jacket, and riding the bike the fuck out of there.

At this point I had been without a pack of Cigarettes for about two days, and was going completely insane. So I decided to ride the bike all the way to my Mom’s house (pretty far bike ride) to steal some cigarettes from her car. However, that evil brat locked her car, probably because I’ve stolen packs of cigs from her car multiple times before. So I ended up just going to the front porch and grabbing the half pack of Cigs on the table. The only problem with doing that really is that it’s SO blantly obvious that I stole from her now. So after that, I remembered that Publix was opening around this time (7 AM at this point) so I dropped by to steal some beer. I grabbed two 25 liters Budweisers… not a lot, I know, but considering I was still high and I have a low tolerance toward alcohol, I figured I’d get a nice little buzz. Now, I had the same problem stealing from Publix that I had stealing from Walmart early in the morning, fucking employees everywhere. I eventually put the beers in my Jean Jacket and started walking toward the back door when I heard on the Intercom, “Police to back door.” Well, I’m not actually sure if they said Police, I was really, really high so they might’ve just said Felice, or something, but it got me paranoid to get the fuck out of there really quickly. So for the rest of the morning I just biked back to David’s, drank, and smoked on the way over there… read for a little bit more, and then just passed out because of the beer. Awwhh, good times. The point I’m trying to make here is that I am a very busy man, and couldn’t work on the review after I woke up from my nap because I was busy smoking weed with Darrien, and watching Drake and Josh dammit!

Enough of my trashy exploits, let’s get back to wrasslin! Alright, Shawn hit the elbow and is getting ready for a superkick but WAIT A MINUTE!!! Christian runs into the ring, but Shawn Michaels just punches him out. However, it gave Jericho enough recoop time and he kills Shawn with an engunzguri. As we know, enzuguri’s are Shawn’s weakness 😉

Cut to commercial, and we’re back with Shawn in control, and working over Jericho’s leg. Kind of a weird set up here, as I’m pretty sure Jericho was heel here, and Shawn was a face, so to have Shawn working Jericho over for a big babyface comeback is pretty weird. Shawn gets a Figure Four, that Jericho eventually powers out of. Shawn goes for it again but eats a roll up for two. Jericho and Shawn trade chops, and Jericho makes Shawn look like a complete pussy. Jericho with shoulderblocks, and a bulldog. I’m assuming that Jericho was face at this point judging from this match. Jericho gets two off a clothesline, and then goes to a bridge for another two. Shawn reverses with a sunset flip which gets a close two count. Lawler mentions that their styles are so similar that it’s almost like they’re wrestling themselves. Shawn eats shit on a dropkick, and Jericho hits a lionsault, but can’t take advantage right away because of his leg and gets a couple two counts. See, psychology! It’s something Cena needs to look up…

Shawn comes back with his flying elbow and both guys are down as we wait for Shawn’s kip up. I really like that both guys are faces in this match, gives it a completely different story from their other matches. Shawn kips up but runs into the Walls, but Tomko runs out for like, no fucking reason, and Jericho lets go of Shawn, and dropkicks Tomko out… AND THEN RUNS INTO A FUCKING SUPERKICK!!!! Shawn has the match won but then Christian runs out to attack Shawn. Tomk comes back in the ring and beats up Jericho. Christian and Tomko team up, and Tomko big boots the fuck out of Jericho. Tomko holds Shawn while Chrsitan bitch slaps, and punches the shit out of him. What a depressing ending.

4.5/5.0 I’m probably overrating here but this match was fucking great, and had a completely different feel from their other matches, with the story being completely different. It was nice to see them both evenly matches as faces rather than Jericho having to be a complete dick, and Shawn still winning in the end. Also, even though this match was a lot shorter than their others (this one was only about 14 minutes) it never felt like they were just repeating the same match, or just doing a greatest hits. The story had great psychology, and made both guys look even. Even the heel beatdown worked to an extent because you want to see Shawn and Chris kick the fuck out of Tomko and Chrstian. Solid, solid match, I definitely think you should check this one out. Deserves more attention than it gets, really.

2nd Match: Triple H vs Eugene Steel Cage Match from Raw September 7th, 2004

Odd choice, I know, but I’ve heard this match is just twelve minutes of Trips beating the fuck out of a retard, and that sounds way too cool to pass up. The first thing that I notice is how fucking retarded Nick Dinsmore’s theme song is. It sounds like the worst 70s instrumental ever. When Trip’s music comes on all I can think is, holy fuck, this retard is going to die! FUCK YEAH, FUCK RETARDS!!! They should get another retard character on Raw just so everyone on the roster can beat the fuck out of him. It’s almost unimaginable how far they went with Dinsmore’s character, he was making huge impacts on main event PPV matches, was involved in every main event angle for a while, and for a while, it wouldn’t have been to out of the question if he had won the WHC in 2004, at the height of his popularity.

Dinsmore actually kicks Trips’s ass to start with fiery babyface stuff. Eugene starts climbing the cage so Trips cuts that out real quick, and crotches Eugene on the ropes. And then he rams that retards heard into the cage! Trips goes up with some punches, and opens him up. Trips throws Dinsmore into the Tree of Woe, and just starts kicking the crap out of him. The fans show the intelligence they have by actually chanting for Dinsmore… Jesus. Trips rams Dinsmore’s face into the cage for a while. See, what’s great about this is that Trip could’ve pinned the retard five minutes ago but he don’t give no fucks!! Dinsmore tries coming back with some punches to the ribs and sends Trips into the cage. How bad would it have been if Dinsmore actually became World Heavyweight Champion? Like, wrestling fans are already looked at as the lowest form of scum alive… how the fuck would you explain to someone that the champion of the wrestling show you’re watching, his character is a literal retard? Eugene almost gets out the cage door, which pisses Trips off, and he rams Eugene into every side of the cage… and STIFF too. Trips hits the Pedigree, and thinks about leaving… but then decides against it so he can beat up on the retard some more! THERE GOES MY HERO, WATCH HIM AS HE GOES!!!!

Trips comes off the top rope (!) with a knee to Eugene’s elbow. The Retard tries making noises or something so Trips just kind of laughs at him, and then walks out the cage to win the match.

5.0/5.0 Ten minutes of Trips beating up a retard? Sign me up. Oh, and then the EMT’s try coming to help Eugene so Trips comes back, and slams the cage door on Eugene’s arm! HOW DID THE IWC NOT LOVE TRIPLE H IN 2004!!??

BTW, just a random little note, but watching the news on mind altering drugs is a really weird experience. Some of those CNN reporters are so damn fugly! Y’know, for the most part its been a pretty slow year for the news, but these last couple weeks have been absolutely crazy, with story after story coming out. Definitely an interesting time to be alive…

And fuck, I wanted to review that Eddie Gurrerro/Kurt Angle 2/3 Falls match from Smackdown ’04 but I couldn’t find it. L So instead of Guerrero let’s substitute the other dead guy, with a match from 2001…

3rd Match: Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle 2 out of 3 Falls Match Judgment Day 2001

There’s a segment precluding this with Trip and Stephanie, who I will now refer to as The Bitch of Baskerville (TM Eric S, the genius). Basically, Trips and Vince argue over whether or not they should fuck with Undertaker’s not that hot wife or not. We get a promo package before the match, and the story is literally, Benoit steals Angle’s gold medals, and puts them on his dick. They had a match on Smackdown and Angle got his gold medals back… and kissed them, but ran into a Crossface and Benoit stole them back… and put them back on his junk. Now this match is for Angle’s gold medals.

Angle cuts a promo before the match and says he’s excited that his medals are coming home. God, that WWF logo looked so fucking cool. Angle’s so dorky here, when he has to say gentials he cringes, almost like the word itself is too disgusting for him to even think about. Benoit’s theme song in 2001 was not as cool as his later one. Kurt kicks Benoit into the corner right away, and I believe this first fall is a normal match. Kurt with three quick Germans and then goes to the top. KURT ACTUALLY GOES FOR A HEADBUTT!!! But misses it completely, and Benoit hits an Angle Slam for the first fall. The second fall is a submission match I think, and Benoit goes straight to a Crossface but Angle wriggles out to the outside. Benoit goes out, and just stiffs the fuck out of Angle. Benoit rams Angle hard into the steps. Benoit throws Angle into the post, and then just kind stand there awkwardly, like he’s exactly sure what to do. Angle goes under a chop, and picks up Benoit and throws him crotch first into the post! Never saw that spot before, pretty cool. Angle slams the fuck out of Benoit’s head onto the Commentators table. Angle throws Benoit back inside and starts stomping him.

Angle goes for an Ankle Lock but it’s a no go, and Benoit reverses into his own Ankle Lock, which Angle reverses but then Benoit reverses into a crossface! Fuck, it’s a Smackdown vs Raw game! Angle stomps Benoit out, and elbows his throat on the apron. Benoit comes back with some kicks and loud chop, but Angle cuts him off with punches, and boots him down. Angle with a snap suplex…. And I hear one of those stupid bullhorn things. What is up with those things? If you watch mid 90s WWF, YOU ALWAYS HEAR THOSE FUCKING THINGS!! What is up with them? Were they selling bullhorns randomly at mid 90s Raw’s or what? Why the fuck would you sell those? They’re so obnoxious. Back to the match, and Angle goes to an Anklelock but Benoit gets to the ropes. Angle brings Benoit into the corner, and the corner stuff is getting a tad redundant. Benoit comes back with a stiff snap suplex. Angle jawjacks Benoit on the ropes and then goes to a Tazmission like submission. Benoit comes back with a sick Walls of Jericho, were he has his knees on Angle’s head! Benoit goes to the Figure Four… and honestly, I kind of hate the Figure Four. It’s like a damn rest hold. No one ever wins with it other than Flair, and it just seems like a pause until the other guy fights out of it. It does add some psychology to the match but I think there’s better ways to go about it.

Angle, of course, gets the ropes, but Angle’s leg is hurt, so Benoit starts working over his leg. He does that for a while and then goes an Anklelock but Angle reaches the ropes. Angle knees Benoit and throws him outside. This match is still really good… but the pacing is really awkward. It’s almost like these guys don’t know exactly what to do, I think they might’ve been exhausted from wrestling each other at this point, as they had wrestled at Mania, Backlash, and on Smackdown already, and we’re pretty much stuck feuding with each other with no real long term plan for them at this point. Not a lot to be motivated about so it’s understandable that they would kind of half ass it. Also, they’re probably trying to pace themselves so they can go crazy in the third fall. Angle hits an Angle Slam, and goes into an Ankle Lock, and Benoit taps to give Angle the second fall. The third fall is a ladder match with the medals hanging up. Angle brings Benoit to the outside and whips him into the steps.

Angle sets up the fucking tiniest ladder to grab the medals, I mean, literally, he grabbed a ladder that’s about the size of a large umbrella. Benoit cuts him off, and throws Angle into the fans, and grabs a REAL ladder. Benoit sets the ladder up and pretty much has the medals but Angle jerks Benoit off. Angle’s pretty pissed that Benoit tried to win or something, and rams the fuck out of Benoit with the ladder. He tries to hit Benoit in the face with it, but Benoit dodges and backdrops Angle out. Benoit goes out to get the ladder, and hits Angle right in the jaw with it. Benoit sets up the ladder again, and starts climbing that shit. Angle cuts him off again, this time with a low blow.

Angle seems so stupid to me in this third fall, he could’ve climbed up the ladder like 80 times. Angle, instead sets the ladder up in the corner, and eats a catapult and Benoit does some CANADIAN VIOLENCE and then just throws the ladder on Angle! Benoit sets the ladder up in between the ropes, but Angle gets up and throws Benoit into it. Angle sets the ladder up on an edge, and suplexes Benoit onto the ladder! That shit was stiff! Benoit on the apron and he punches the ladder, and it jumps up and hits Angle in the face. Then he rams that shit right into Angle’s face. Benoit sets the ladder up so Angle’s trapped under it, which is the dumbest fucking idea ever, and Angle throws the ladder over. Angle brings Benoit into the corner and rams his shoulder into him a couple times. Pretty sick shot of that Wil E Coyote camera and Benoit falling off the top of the ladder was pretty sick. Benoit gets the crossface on Angle, but Edge and Christian come in, and distract Benoit long enough for Angle to grab the medals.

4.0/5.0 Honestly, I was pretty disappointed with this match. I remembered it being a lot better than it ended up. Benoit and Angle looked pretty awkward in this match, and there was a lot of dead space in the second fall. The third fall felt kind of forced, like they have to do this contrived stuff with the ladder which doesn’t make that much sense, and isn’t really adding to the story of the match. As much I love both of these guys this match really doesn’t hold up to the level I thought it would, and really there’s not a lot of drama. The Gold Medals seem more of a ridiculous plot point, and Angle was such a goofy character that you couldn’t really take his character motivation seriously. These guys were probably just tired of wrestling each other, and looked to just be out of ideas at this point. As much as I wanted to love this, and give this a full monty, it just didn’t live up the hype I had in my head. It’s still a good match, and worth checking out, but it is definitely not the best these two have had between each other (that would be Wrestlemania 17).

4th Match: AJ Styles and R-Truth vs Lance Hoyt (the guy who tried to kill Brandon Stroud) and Kid Kash Street Fight From whatever TNA’s old Wednesday show was called September 1st, 2004\

The quality on this Dailymotion video is so fucking bad. Match starts off with both teams brawling with each other, and Turth and Styles get the advantage. AJ and Hoyt get sent to the outside, and Hoyt goes for a press slam but Styles gets out of it and throws Hoyt through the guardrail. Kash gets sent into the fans too, and R-Truth comes off the top rope with a crossbody onto both Kash and Hoyt! Pretty cool considering how far he flew. Hoyt and Kash start getting the advantage by using chairs. Kash throws Styles onto the floor, Hoyt and Kash just double team up on Styles. Hoyt and Kash go inside the ring, and team up on Truth with double clotheslines. This match somewhat reminds me of the great, Shield/Evolution match from Payback. Hoyt picks up Kash and Kash does a moonsault off of Hoyt onto Truth for two! Hoyt goes to fuck around with Truth on the outside, and AJ and Kash fight inside. AJ starts getting the advantage but Hoyt hits AJ in the back from the outside.

Hoyt with a sidewalk slam, as they’re working over the back of Styles. Hoyt picks up Kash and Kash does a legdrop of Hoyt onto AJ for two. Hoyt chokes AJ out, and Kash sets up a table. Hoyt sets up a table, but AJ comes back with a pele kick to the head. Truth and Hoyt fight it out on the outside, and AJ takes Kash into the fans, and throws Kash into chairs and shit. This match is a pretty fun, lil trashy hardcore thing. I know I’m not doing too much commentary other than play by play but it’s only because so much shit is happening. AJ picks up a chair and just throws it into Kash’s face. AJ sets up for the Clash (which has been breaking people’s necks lately…) but Test… er I mean Hoyt, big boots AJ in the face. R Truth and Hoyt ko each other with chairs in a pretty cool spot.

Hoyt boots Truth down, and Hoyt starts like… randomly dancing for some reason. Truth doesn’t like it when them white boyz try to dance, and comes back with punches in bunches. Hoyt kinda just brushes Truth off because he’s like twice the size of him, and goes for AJ. Styles gets pretty worked on here, but starts to make a fiery babyface come back, but misses a Stinger Splash and eats the guardrail. THIS MATCH IS SO FUCKING CRAZY!!! It’s like, hard to even comprehend what’s going on, much less do play by play. WTF, why does Hoyt have a tramp stamp tattoo? Dude, Kid Kash and Hoyt are the perfect tag team. Kash looks like a mini version of Hoyt, and Hoyt looks like a trashier Test. AJ starts to actually come back for realz this time, and Truth and AJ double team Kash with a double arm drag. AJ and Truth punch Hoyt, and then they do an double elevated dropkick to Kash, and then a double drop kick to Hoyt.

Truth with a kind of scissors super kick thing to Hoyt, and AJ hits Hoyt with a rana. Truth gets two off that, and AJ takes Kash to the outside. Hoyt chokes out Truth on the inside, and AJ goes to fight Hoyt, and dropkicks Hoyt’s legs, and Truth comes off the top with a legdrop for the win!

4.0/4.0 Very fun, fast paced trashy hardcore match. The story was pretty decent too with Hoyt just being so much bigger than both AJ and Truth, so they had to come back to beat him. Pretty fun, TNA was really good at doing these trash hardcore matches at this time period. Now they’re not much good at anything. Huge tag team schmozz ending were nothing makes sense, and it shows how inaccessible TNA was to new fans. After a bunch of tag teams come out and fight each other Jeff Hardy beats up everbody with a chair. Then Jeff Jarrett comes out and tries putting the Figure Four on Hardy but Hardy reverses into a sharpshooter. Fucking lame, I am never, ever going to sit through Jeff Hardy vs Jeff Jarrett. That’s like, the worst thing you could do to somebody. Ick.

Before I go into one last match, I want to mention some random thoughts. The Damned is the best punk rock band ever, and The Sex Pistols is a close second. Seriously though, the rhythm section on The Damned Damned Damned Damned is so fucking good. Try listening to that album, and not getting Neat Neat Neat, or Fan Club stuck in your head. Such a great album. I’m really digging Spotify lately too, a lot better quality than Youtube. Also, the way that WWE’s been booking Brock Lesnar lately has been fucking perfect. I just wish he could wrestle someone not named John Cena every time he made an appearance.

Final Match: Chris Benoit vs Ric Flair Thunder 1999

Fuck yeah, saving the best for last. Ric Flair comes out with this really disgustingly buff chick. Like, she’d probably be hot if she wasn’t so fucking buff. Her name, apparently, is Asia… or maybe Asa? Madden’s pretty funny here, “Is that a woman?” Oh, by the way, if you want to see something really embarrassing involving Mark Madden …

http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2004/08/12/20123/

Check out that link, and go down to Madden America. Too funny seeing how stupid Mark Madden truly is.

Flair brings Benoit into the corner and chops Benoit so Benoit shows him how really chop! Flair gets scared and goes into the corner. Lock up and Flair tries to chop Benoit again like a total retard, so Benoit chops the fuck out of Flair and Flair runs to the outside, and tries to beg off but Benoit just doesn’t give a fuck. Flair gets Benoit to back off by hanging by his buff girlfriend or whatever.

Flair goes into the ring and they lock up and do a criss cross, and Benoit hooks on the Figure Four onto Flair. Flair gets the ropes, so Benoit starts working over Flair’s legs. Funny, it’s the exact same thing from the Benoit/Angle match. Flair starts begging off again and then tries fucking with the Referee for some reason, so the Ref pushes Flair. Benoit brings Flair into the corner, and Flair pokes Benoit in the eye. Flair pokes Benoit in the eye again just to be a dick. Flair brings Benoit down with a chop. Flair goes for a nice cradle pin for a couple two counts. Asya rakes Benoit’s eyes while Flair distracts the Ref. And then she chokes him out. So… Asya wants to be Chyna? WTF is her deal? Flair brings Benoit into the corner, and does his punches. Benoit starts to come back with stiff punches, and some kicks. Benoit goes up for the ten punch. Benoit with a chop and a backdrop. Flair starts begging off again, so Benoit kicks Flair in the stomach, and hits him with another backdrop. Dropkick by Benoit, and Flair tries begging off again. Jesus Flair. Flair rolls Benoit up and uses the ropes for two. Benoit goes to a backslide for two. Flair goes to the outside and Benoit goes to chop the fuck out of him.

Benoit brings Flair inside and hits a snap suplex for two. Benoit and Flair hit each other with shoulderblocks and are ko’d. Flair gets up first and gets a two count. Flair runs into a sleeper from Benoit, but Flair reverses into his own so Benoit throws Flair into the turnbuckle. This match is good but it’s a little too Flair formula for me. Flair goes for a backdrop suplex which Benoit reverses into a roll up for two. Flair with another poke to the eye and chops Benoit which awakens Benoit, and Benoit chops the fuck out of Flair. Another backdrop by Benoit and he give some punches in bunches. Benoit runs into a kick from Flair, and Flair goes for the Figure Four but Benoit reverses into a roll up for two. Flair chops Benoit again, dumb fucker, which awakens Benoit and Benoit starts chopping, but Flair cuts him off with a kneebreaker into the Figure Four in the middle of the ring. Benoit fights out of it because A) It’s the Figure Four and B) Flair didn’t work over Benoit’s leg at all.

Pretty cool spot were Flair goes to work on Benoit’s leg, so Benoit hits Flair with an enzugiri. Flair and Benoit trade roll up and bridging spots. Benoit with a clothesline, and Benoit is getting ready to kill Flair… poor choice of words? Anyway, Benoit goes to the top, and hits a headbutt for two as DDP comes for like no reason, and ko’s the Ref. Bam Bigelow also comes in and they all team up, and beat up on Benoit.

4.0/5.0 This match was really damn good, but the problem was that it was SO Flair formula. A lot of people like to bitch that Flair can only do his formula but that’s not true what so ever, as he came out of that shell a lot of times. This was Flair on default pretty much, like this exactly the same match he’d have with Sting, except Benoit’s in there. Still, a very, very good match and Benoit brought his usual intensity, and the psychology and everything was very well done. Benoit is one of the few people who could sell convincingly enough so that Flair’s offense doesn’t look completely contrived (by the late 90s Flair was pretty old and in the 2000s he just got older, so it was a bit hard to take him seriously as a threat all the time). Really well done match, I just wish it wasn’t so formula, and that Flair wasn’t on autopilot.

Well that’s it for this new column. It was pretty fun doing this actually, and puts me in a lot better mood than doing fucking Nitro does. If you guys are at all into this leave me a comment, if not I might end up doing them anyways just because they’re fun, but the Nitro’s are pretty draining so I’m not 100% sure if I want to go through with doing this on a consistent basis. BTW, look at this amazing match selection. I have a bunch of unknown great matches, some overrated one’s, and a match were Triple H beats up a retard in a steel cage. If that doesn’t cover all the bases, I don’t know what does (Raw, Nitro, TNA, Retards). Until next time stay safe, and love Stacy Keibler.

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