Hey guys. First off, I apologize for it taking so long to get Sin to you. I recently launched a fitness related youtube channel & website. The website can be found here, and you can find the youtube channel by searching for Fat Buff INC.
On top of that I’ve started writing for 411mania, as well as started writing another book, so my plate is damn full. Now, I don’t want to keep you guys waiting any longer, so this Sin PPV will be just Sebastian reviewing, with me doing Notes From Caliber. Afterward, Sebastian will more or less be handling the reviews while I jump in with NFC, and I’ll handle ones when I have the time. This way, we can keep the new stuff coming on a regular basis. Now, on with the show. Let’s hope the guys go out there, break a leg, and give a great performance.
Jesus, I haven’t done one of these in a while. Let’s hope I can live up to my usually, ridiculously high standard I’ve set for myself. Basically I’ve been gone for a while and unable to do any reviews what-so-ever because I was stuck in Hell-Hole –Wenatchee. The shittiest place on the Earth, full of homeless people, suicidal sluts, and my Dad was with a crazy, sixty-four year old bitch who constantly kicked us out of the house on a whim. I also couldn’t torrent, and for the last two weeks I was there, I couldn’t even use the computer. So along with all that, and Caliber’s insistence that we keep up the ruse that we’re NEVER EVER EVER going to do 2001 WCW, I think you can understand why I was away for so long. [Note From Caliber: Ah ha! We swerved them all! They all bought it! We said we WEREN’T gonna review after 2000, but we ARE! HA HA!]
1st Match: Chavo Gurrero(C) vs Shane Helms for the Cruiserweight Title
I didn’t feel like pausing this shit so I missed probably the first four minutes of the match as I was doing the above rant. So I’m starting the play by play late in the match.
Shane brings Chavo to the outside and whips him into the guardrail. Back in the ring and Shane gets a roll up for two, and reverses a backslide into another roll up for two in a pretty near spot, that I haven’t seen before. Shane tries setting up for a powerbomb but Chavo reverses by just tossing Shane. He then kicks Helms in the balls right in front of the Ref. who almost DQ’s him. Chavo’s story here is that he’s turning heel and its actually kind of well done as he’s getting more brutal, and using underhand tactics were before this he’s been shown to be his uncle’s lackey bitch, and a goody two shoes with no personality. [NFC: I actually like that angle. Because Eddie keeps brow-beating him, and instead of just sticking up for himself, he starts to lose his mind and freak Eddie out.] The pacing gets a little fucked off as Chavo goes from high flying shit to a random long headlock, but Shane fights back and takes Chavo out with a neckbreaker. Both guys out, and a ten count is started. Shane breaks it up by going for a pin, for two. Slugfest… which isn’t as cool without the boo/yay thing that started in like 2006. Sick German from Shane, and then a superkick, and Shane has it won but Chavo is too close to the ropes. Chavo backdrops Shane to the outside, and hits a sick crossbody from the top turnbuckle to the outside onto Shane. Two count for Chavo when he rolls Shane back in. Chavo tries a suplex but Shane rolls out of it, and clotheslines Chavo to the outside. Shane’s turn to go the top, and he hits his own crossbody to Chavo. Kinda weird as the crowd boos the fuck out of Shane when he does it, yet they were cheering when Chavo did it…..
Shane with a sunset flip off the top rope for two. The problem with the match is that they keep on switching between trying to do high flying stuff, and quick roll ups, and can’t decide if they want to be a technical match or a spot fest. Helms hits a reverse DDT, which has the coolest finisher name ever, “Nightmare on Helm Street.” [NFC: That must be new, because I’ve never heard it before, very sweet though.] How fucking cool is that? Shane tries it again but Chavo reverses into a brain buster for the win.
3.5/5.0 Decent little match, but the story was convoluted. Again, it seemed like they weren’t sure what they wanted to do in the match, the roll ups and close pins were done too soon, and there was way too many of them so it kind of ruined the suspense, and importance. Also, they kept on trying to flip between spotty, and technical which was obnoxious. However, the match was pretty good, and had a decent story of Chavo starting to turn to the dark side, and it made Helms look good, but not yet good enough to beat the Cruiserweight Champion.
Mike Tenay stalks Ric Flair backstage, and tries to get who the mystery man in the Fatal Four Way is, but Flair ain’t telling. Mamalukes cut some stupid, incoherent promo. God, Mean Gene started to look really shitty around this time, he kinda looks like one of those guys stuck in Hell, in Dante’s Inferno who were there for eating too much and being too greedy.
2nd Match: Vito vs Reno
What the fuck…. Why are we having this match again? Didn’t we see this shit back on ppv in 2000? I need a cig…
I give that Cig 5.0/5.0. Marlboro Red’s Special Blend is the perfect mix of rough, and tasty. It never gets dull unlike its brother Marlboro Red’s, or just about any variation of Red’s except for Special Blend. Also hurts your throat less. Only bad thing is that it makes you smell like straight cigs because of the weird assed combination of chemicals, but fuck it, it’s worth it. [NFC: Boy, everyone is probably so excited to get a cigarette review]
OH SHIT ITS KRONIK!!!!!! [NFC: Ironically this is when everyone watching would then go out for a cigarette] Bryan Adams threatens to slap the shit out Sanders, so Sanders gives him money to take out someone, and then Clarke shows up with more money, and says he has another bounty for them. Let’s just hope it’s not Goldberg….
3rd Match: The Dung Dragons vs Nobely Kuragious
Evan and Wang go at it to start. Nice criss cross sequence that ends with Wang hitting a sick German. The Dungs take out the other guys with a nice duel dropkicks, and double moonsaults to them on the outside. Wang and Noble in the ring, and Noble reverses a powerbomb and another criss cross sequence…. It was cute at first but it’s starting to get obnoxious. Noble with a rana to Wang to send him to the outside, and Evan and the other Dragon on the top rope, and he hits a nice pancake suplex to Evan, but he runs into a dropkick from Evan. Evan rushes at him but runs into a drop toe hold into the corner. Evan and Noble do a pretty nice double team sequence where Evan holds him, and Noble comes off the top with an elbow. The problem with this match is…while nice and flashy, and exciting and everything, there’s almost no story, and no continued selling. At least not yet. And as I’m typing that Wang starts playing Ricky Morton.
Evan puts him up top in a press slam position but then turns it into a pretty high spinebuster. Evan goes for a top rope Lionsault but Wang dodges it. He just about makes the tag but Noble cuts him off. Noble tries for a sunset flip but Wang does that cool Daniel Bryan spot where he reverses into that kick in the top of the head. Wang actually makes the hot tag this time, and the other Dragon is in. He starts kicking all kinds of ass, but he makes the mistake of trying a figure four when there’s two people in the ring, which is straight stupid. Ten count to Evan from the other Dragon but Noble catches him in a German Suplex for two. Evan hits a nice springboard crossbody to Wang on the outside. Back in the ring, and the other Dragon reverses a rana from the top into a powerbomb…and I actually though that was the end but Evan breaks it up with a neckbreaker. Evan hits a flippy splash off the top for two. Wang comes in and hits a DDT into a weird, reverse Crossface, which the other Dragon breaks up with a pretty sick piledriver for two. This match is going on a bit too long…. To the point where all the nearfalls aren’t really meaning anything. Then out of nowhere Wang gets a small package on Noble for the win. Fucking lame win.
3.5/5.0 I was thinking about upgrading it to four stars but the beginning was pretty spotty, and the end was a bit obnoxious. The story was pretty decent though, and it didn’t get pretentious enough for it to become totally awful unlike that stupid eight man cruiserweight tag team match from a couple ppv’s ago.
Mike Sanders comes out, and does the overused, “You people are stupid hillbilly’s,” bullshit, and talks about how Ernest Miller sucks. Time for another smoke
4th Match: Mike Sanders vs Ernest “The Pussy” Miller
Great, its two people I hate.[NFC: I actually like Sanders, I think he’s rather entertaining] Ernest Miller’s a pretentious fuck who gets to go over just about everyone in the mid-card, including The Great Muta, and has shitty offense, and is obnoxious as fuck on the Mic. And Sanders is a bland, boring piece of shit who can only cut basic promos. Yee-fucking-haw. Anyway, Miller starts kicking Sander’s ass with his shitty MMA kicks bullshit, but Sanders gets the advantage after a low blow. Sanders actually goes to a Cobra Clutch which makes him ten times cooler. Ernest does his usual obnoxious come back where he does a lot of lame dancing, and prancing around. Jesus, he’s worse than Too Cool. Sanders gets the advantage back by throwing Ernest really lightly onto the matted floor. Sanders goes for a chair, but Ms. Jones grabs it and starts chasing Sanders around with it. That spot was actually kinda funny. The Ref’s distracted with that and then Kronik come down to the ring, and throw money into Sander’s mouth. I guess Miller paid Kronik more money than Sanders did…. And Ernest hits his super kick for the win.
DUD Lame and unimportant.
GOLDBERG AND RIC FLAIR WATCH TV AND MURMER A LOT!!!! EXCITING!!!!!
Oh great, now Goldberg is signing autographs and taking pictures. What the fuck, who cares? I’m sure Lance Storm is nicer than Goldberg in real life, but they don’t show him kissing babies and signing autographs. Jeff Jarrett does his usual intelligent, white-trash promo saying he’s going to win. Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out, and he’s reffing the next match. God…. I need a bottle of Fireball to get through this shit. Lance Storm comes out with his slut, Mike Awesome, and some other guy. Storm has to be serious for moment. Storm says he’s going to give the Filthy Animals some CANADIAN JUSTICE!!! AND TO GET THERE HE’S GOING TO GIVE THEM SOME CANADIAN VIOLENCE (TM Scott Keith). Storm looks a LOT like Henry Rollins here.
5th Match: Team Canada vs The Filthy Animals w/ Hacksaw Jim Duggan as “Special” Ref
Hacksaw explains the rules, and it seems really complicated. Something about a penalty cage, and whoever makes a penalty has to go in it. What the fuck? Storm starts off with Rey, who’s wearing stupid devil horns. Rey does his usually quick stuff but Lance crotches him on the ropes. Elix Skipper comes in and starts attacking Rey, but Duggan catches him and sends him to the penalty box. Awesome argues with Duggan and he’s in a penalty box now. Fuck…. So now its one minute of a three on one handicapped match against poor Storm. Konnan and Rey do a pretty cool spot were Konnan powerbombs Rey onto Storm. Rey with a springboard frogsplash for two. Kidman in with a nice rana. Storm finally gets the advantage with a knee, and then a leg drop. Elix Skipper in, with some punches. Elix really looks out of his league here with Kidman and Storm… Kidman nails Skipper with a backdrop suplex. Awesome grabs Kidman, so he gets sent to the penalty box, and Storm argues… and he gets set to the penalty box too. This is so fucking stupid, HEELS ARE SUPPOSED TO CHEAT IN TAG MATCHES!!!! That’s how the whole fucking Ricky Morton system was set up in the first place. If wrestling was always fair, heels would never win anything.
Ugh, I need a cig. Rey and Kidman are in the penalty box, probably for doing something really simple like double teaming. Canda’s isolated Konann for a while but he’s started to come back, and hits a pretty nice facebuster. Konnan with a tag to Kidman, and he’s a house of fire. Sick dropkick to Lance and a nice powerbomb for two. Fuck all these other guys, I just wanna see Storm/Kidman. Rey in, and Rey sends Kidman over the top, leading to all the guys fighting on the outside… and just as the momentum was starting to build its cut off at the legs as Hacksaw sends a bunch of people to the penalty to the box. Fucking lame. This match could’ve been pretty decent if it was a normal match but the overbearing gimmick of Duggan being the Ref is really running the pacing and story.
Storm hits a nice superkick to Rey, Kidman in with an Unprettier for two. Awesome in and he hits A SICK ASS powerbomb on Rey. Storm has Kidman in the Half Crab for the win.
3.0/5.0 I’m upping this one a little bit because Storm actually won something for once. The match had some great wrestlers in it, and theres moments of fun, but Jim Duggan was a more overbearing Referee here than Mike Chiodia. Obnoxious as hell gimmick that ruined what could’ve been a great match.
6th Match: Terry Funk © vs Crowbar vs Meng for the Hardcore Championship
Now we’re going to dip in quality and interest as we have a hardcore championship match involving Terry Funk. Funk brings Crowbar to the bathroom, because you can’t have fuck, without the f,u, and k, in Funk. Meng goes backstage and starts beating up Terry Funk, and hitting him with a bunch of trashcans and shit. I have to say, while I didn’t necessarily like the 2001 hardcore scene in WWF at the time, at least they told an amusing story in those matches (for example, Raven trying to survive Big Show and Kane, while they’re just trying to ignore him and kill each other). However here, there’s absolutely no story beyond guys throwing trashcans, and punching each other. If they had kept this a singles rematch between Funk and Crowbar it could’ve been okay since these guys had a decent hardcore match a couple months before this, but this is just turning into total trash. Now the trouble becomes, what should I do to amuse myself until this match is over. Could check Stuff You Will Hate, watch some porn, some Uproxx maybe, check Caliber’s site… maybe read some comics. Choices… choices.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMK6omUtBnY#t=57 Here’s a song I’m putting in just to annoy Caliber. [NFC: I gotta be honest, I’m more annoyed at the fact you just didn’t tell us who won that last match]
7th Match: Insiders vs Palumbo and Stasiak © for the Tag Team Titles I missed the majority of the Insiders vs Palumbo and Stasiak because Wendy’s Chicken Sandwiches> Shitty WCW 2001 shows. I actually wouldn’t be too surprised if this match was somewhat decent because the problem with the first match between them was the overbooked mess, but Flair has banned everyone else from ringside. However, its still a bunch of guys I really don’t care about so I’m not too tempted to watch the whole thing. And of course at the end of the match the whole banned from ringside things turns out to be a bunch of a bullshit as they all come down to the ring. Security takes them out, but Bagwell takes Nash out with a monkey wrench making the end, an overbooked mess. Stasiak wins with a swanton. Doesn’t make too sense for Bagwell to take out Nash since Bagwell and Luger have a match with Goldberg later tonight….
8th Match: Shane Douglas vs General Erection © for the United States Championship in a First Blood Match with a Chain on a Rope
This match is going to blow, I like Shane Douglas but he’s best when he’s going up against a face that can move around really quickly, and do a fun, fast paced comeback (like Billy Kidman). Erection is NOT that guy, and I feel this is going to be a terrible mix. There’s also some really stupid, complicated rules being put into place in the match, it’s a first blood match … I think but for some reason they have to reach a chain that’s hooked up like a Money in the Bank briefcase. Fucking stupid.
Erection starts off the match by winning a test of strength with Shane. Erection is in good shape, and he’s pretty fat but Shane looks like he’s a lot more defined so its kinda hard to take seriously. Erection goes to an armbar, and punches in bunches. Shane isn’t busted open, so I have to sit through more of this shit. Erection just throws Shane around like a rag doll. Y’know, I think that Erection could make a pretty decent power heel, you could get some good matches if you had him as a heel going against Rag Doll Kidman or Mysterio. Important observation, the Ref is really ginger. Shane gets a low blow which Erection pretty much no sells, and then hits a CM Punk springboard clothesline. I’m actually surprised he can pull that off. Rection goes to the top rope for what looks like a moonsault, but Shane crotches him on the ropes. Shane lays the boots to Erection. Erection’s body is pretty damn gross honestly, I’m glad he’s not wearing wrestling shorts or anything.
Shane works over Erections legs in the corner. So that goes on for a while… Y’know…. In those small guys vs big guys matches the small guys always work on the legs, but why wouldn’t they work on the arms? If you fuck up their arms they can’t do any of that power shit and it’s not like most big guys do MMA kicks or any of that shit. Shane brings Rection to the crowd, and hits a crossbody off the rail. Again, I think this match would’ve been a lot better if it was Kidman in there with Douglas because Rection just is too damn slow, and his comebacks aren’t all that exciting, and doesn’t mix well with Shane’s technical, gritty style. Shane does a variation of the Figure Four on the post. Rection is just complete dead weight at this point that Shane is almost literally carrying. You can actually see Shane slow down for Erection’s comebacks. Erection hits a press slam, and then slowly grabs a ladder. Jeez.
Erection sets up the ladder and climbs for the chain. He gets the chain, but Shane just pushes the ladder down and ko’s the Ref. Then it turns out that Shane had an extra chain in his knee pads, and busts open Erection for the win.
2.0/5.0 Shane was carrying big time here, and Erection’s comebacks were really lame, uninspired and short. Still, I loved Shane’s use of psychology here working over Erection’s legs so he couldn’t climb the ladder, and that he outsmarted him by hiding a chain in his kneepad.
Scott Steiner yells a lot. Erection cries backstage that he lost the title, what a little bitch.
9th Match: Goldberg and Sarge D vs Bagwell and Luger No DQ
The promo leading up to this match does make it look pretty intense. Seeing Bruce Buffer trying to keep a straight face while saying, “Totally Buff,” is pretty funny.
Sarge D is a little buff midget. Oh, and if Goldberg loses this he loses his career. Y’know, if Bagwell and Luger really wanted to take out Goldberg, I mean it’s a No DQ match. Just hire Kronik and have them attack Goldberg. I’m sure that even Goldberg wouldn’t be able to beat Luger, Bagwell, and Kronik single handedly. [NFC: Well, he’d only do it if they were trying to get all 4 guys over] Anyway, start to the match and Goldberg brings Luger in the corner and fucks him up with punches in bunches. Goldberg with a huge shoulder block that a lot of hangtime. Looked better than any shoulder block Cena’s ever done… Goldberg throws Luger around like a rag doll for a little longer, and then Luger tags to Bagwell. Bagwell actually gets the advantage here with some punches and suplex, but Goldberg no sells (shocked, I know) and hits Bagwell with a huge press slam.
Goldberg, like a total idiot, tags in Sarge D with Bagwell right next to his corner. Sarge D hits a scoop slam and a backdrop suplex. Watching Sarge wrestle is weird, it’s like watching an amateur or like a celebrity wrestler who doesn’t really know what they’re doing, and doesn’t really have his own style. Anyway, of course Bagwell and Luger end up bringing Sarge D in the corner, and double teaming him. Luger hits him with a stiff clothesline, and Bagwell gets a DDT for two. Pretty boring really, just because Sarge D is short or whatever doesn’t mean he has to be a total jobber for Bagwell and Luger. You have to feel kinda bad for the fans here too, I mean they want to see Goldberg kick ass, and instead they get some short muscly guy they don’t getting his ass kicked for what feels like ten hours. Sarge D finally comes back with a suplex reversal, and makes the hot tag to Goldberg. Big pop for that.
Goldberg beats the shit out of Luger and Bagwell because he’s Goldberg. Luger starts arguing with the guy who Goldberg gave an autograph to, and Goldberg comes to make sure he’s okay, and the guy maces him in the eyes!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!! The thing is though, mace doesn’t like you totally fucked off.[NFC: What? Was that English?] If anything it just makes you angrier, it’s not like impossible to see or anything. [NFC: Dude, you ever been near a discharged can of mace? I have. Just one wiff and I clearly understood why it drops motherfuckers.] Anyway, Goldberg’s pretty fucked off from the mace, and Luger hits Goldberg with a sick chairshot. Luger picks Goldberg up on his shoulders AND BAGWELL HITS A BLOCKBUSTER FROM SUPER HIGH AND THEY PIN GOLDBERG FOR THE WIN!!!! 2.5/5.0 Match was boring as fuck, and totally by the numbers, and the stuff with Sarge D was damn boring, and predictable. But that swerve near the end makes the whole thing way better, Goldberg actually lost…. Kind of cleanly. How fucking cool is that? Actually a decent way to end his second winning streak, a lot better than how they ended it the first time. The commentators actually do a pretty good job of making the story seem important, talking about how Goldberg saved the company from the NWO, and this will be the last image they see of him. Pretty good exposition, really.
Main Event: Scott Steiner vs Jeff Jarrett vs Sid Vicious vs ????? (Sting, maybe?) [NFC: haha, oh man are you gonna be let down]
Flair comes out and says the mystery man is going to come later in the match. Um, that’s a bit unfair isn’t it? So Jarrett and Steiner double team Sid Vicious. Pretty hilarious botch were Jeff comes off the top with a knee to Sid’s head but completely misses by like three feet and Sid still sells it. Sid reverses a suplex attempt and suplexes Steiner, and Jarrett. Big boots for both. Huge chokeslam to Jarrett for two as Steiner breaks it up. Sid takes out Steiner and goes to the outside with Jarrett. He whips Jarrett into the rail sending him over it. Cut backstage to Ric Flair, and out of the limo comes… a guy in a hockey mask and a straight jacket. So is it Abyss? How cool would it be if it was La Parka and he just beat all these guys to win the championship? That would make things so much more entertaining. Flair comes out to the ring… and the Mystery Man is still in his hockey mask and crazy jacket. The action in the match just stops as this guy slowly goes to the ring…. And hits Sid with one axehandle, and Steiner pins him for the win. He takes off his mask and its…. Animal???? What the fuck? Really? Well that’s anti-climatic.
[NFC: You’re probably all wondering why Sebastian didn’t mention the most important aspect of the main event, Sid’s leg. Well, he watched this show on the WWE and they completely edited it out. I was in high school when this happened, and it was big news. Since this was before youtube, there was a VHS copy being passed around school so people could watch it. Matter of fact, they even showed it in PE. Funny thing is, Johnny Ace was an agent at WCW during this time, and demanded Sid do the jump kick. Sid didn’t wanna, but Johnny insisted. While he was being stretchered out, Sid said to Animal “Tell your brother thanks for me”. The moment is absolutely grisley, I mean, that sucker snaps clean.]
Final Thoughts: While this show wasn’t necessarily bad, in fact everything on this show was tolerable to good, and the main event was so stupid and short that it’s not a chore to sit through. But while it was a decent little show, nothing really stands out as being above or beyond, and it’s really just quite good, but nothing you really need to see or anything like that. I’d place it above horrible shit like No Way Out 2001 (which ended with the Duane winning the title back from Kurt Angle so Duane and Wife-Beater could have their overrated, horrible garbagey main event at Mania) but again, there’s nothing on this show to really recommend. Decent wrestling, but nothing sticks out in my head other than that horrible booking of the six man tag match. So if you want to check out this show, it’s definitely acceptable but lacking in anything memorable, or even that great. The whole Goldberg angle is a bit silly, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be wrestling again by the next PPV, if not the next Nitro.