Your hosts for the evening are Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, and The Worst Big-Man In The History of Wrestling, Mark Madden.
We open up with a recap of the big reveal last week of Sid being announced as Steiner’s opponent as Starrcade. Afterward, we see the Thrillers hanging with OK, who hasn’t been seen in almost a year, agreeing to go out to the ring and say something. My goosebumps have goosebumps.
What I love, is that Ferrara is such an idiot, he assumes that the heat he’s getting is because people dislike JR. When in fact it’s because this is arguably the lamest gimmick of all time; uninspired, unoriginal, pointless, and spear-headed by a hack loser that’s forgotten by 100% of the wrestling fan base today. He comes out and insults Nebraska’s college teams, talking up Oklahoma state’s. Does this moron know he isn’t JR? Seriously, this whole lame gimmick is now just him wearing a black shirt & cowboy hat, as he doesn’t even change his voice, speech, or facial expressions. OK says that Sid is going to be watched the whole night, and if he steps outside the line, at all, he’s toast. Sid then promptly responds by coming out and chokeslaming him, which then causes the police to come out and arrest him. This is something I’m so grateful is gone from wrestling, because of how pointless the whole act is.
Steiner shows up, and he tells Mike Sanders he wants a shot at Sid tonight. Sanders then tells him that Flair had Sid arrested. Steiner processes this news calmly, wipes his monocle clean before placing it back over his eye, throws his scarf over his shoulder and says “I shall find Mr. Flair and voice my displeasure! Good day, sir!”.
We get a recap from Thunder, where apparently General Boner inadvertently hurt Torrie Wilson, followed by Chavo wanting to kick her out of the ring. The MIA stopped him from doing so, and he accused them of being too soft. General Boner, too soft?
Chavo vs Kwee Wee w/ Paisley
Chavo is on Kwee from the jump, keeping him in the corner with chops & kicks, preventing any attempt at a come-back for a while. Hudson says that these two are what WCW is all about, two guys willing to fight to the death. Not exactly. WCW is more like two guys not even willing to fight to the slight discomfort. Kwee does get a few flashes of hard-hitting offense in, but it never last long, as Chavo always has his number, and is down right vicious. Kwee rushes Chavo, only to end up at the bottom of a Brain Buster and a pin. Although very short, it’s a damn good match, clearly displaying both Chavo & Kwee’s ability to go out there and work their asses off. Hopefully this’ll lead to a feud as well as a match at Starrcade.
Chavo pins Kwee after a Brain Buster at 3:55 | **1/2
Flair chews out Sanders, and tells him to both beef up security & get Sid out of jail.
Wrath is on the phone with a client, working on a deal, and says “discretion is what we’re all about”. I know when I want something of mine being discrete, I try and make sure it’s done on a nationally broadcasted TV show.
Mean Gene speaks with MIA, as General Boner has a shot at Steiner tonight for the title. I do love that while in the middle of their feud with Team Canada, WCW made them a brand new shirt that’s solid red. Brilliant.
Team Canada comes out, Lance does his deal, and even though it’s happened 3,641 times before, he’s both shocked & appalled that someone would interrupt the national anthem.
Crowbar © vs Elix Skipper – WCW Hardcore Championship
Awesome, Daffney is with him, and she’s wearing a shirt that says “RATINGS”, with an arrow pointing to her boobies. Ratings? More like BONER! Har har har! The Cat came out as well to do commentary, and soon after the start of the match, tries to choke out Mark Madden, which then starts a brawl with Lance & Team Canada. Meanwhile, Crowbar beats Skipper with a faceplant onto a car bumper. There really wasn’t much of anything here, which is a shame, because these two could have had a decent showing.
Skipper eats a car bumper and a pin at 2:16 | *
Stacey Kiebler is back and tells David she just didn’t want to get married.
Some chick is talking with Reno, and literally if I cared less it might split the fabric of time & space.
Luger comes out, and we learn that he’ll face Goldberg at Starrcade in a No DQ match. He talks about Goldberg, and the man who trained him, a guy named Sarge, the trainer at the Power Plant. Lex reads passages from Goldberg’s book about Sarge, who’s in the crowd tonight. Honestly, writing about this, it sounds God-awful, but Luger is so smarmy, sarcastic, and being such a dick that he actually makes it entertaining.
Norman Smiley is talking with some woman backstage, talking about how he’s not sure if he can beat Goldberg tonight. Just then, Steiner comes in and sees to it he won’t have to worry about it as he lays him out with his pipe.
3 Count vs The Insiders © – WCW Tag Team Championship
It’s Shannon Moore & Nash in the ring first, and Moore absolutely dominates. He’s leaping off the ground, landing punches to Nash’s jaw, and then even hits him with a freaking Jackknife, and pins him! Holy shit! Did you actually believe that? Nash absolutely destroys Moore before both men tag in their respective partners. DDP is actually worked over a bit before getting the hot tag. Nash destroys both members, including a Jackknife for Moore, and a Diamond Cutter for Helms, which leads to a double pin. Not a terrible match, but it would have been nice to see Nash give at least something to one of the members of 3 Count. I do dig The Insiders team though.
Helms & Moore are both pinned at 4:26 | *3/4
Sanders comes out, and calls Ric Flair to join him. He shows him some footage from Mayhem, where apparently Nash pinned the wrong guy when they first won the tag-titles. I don’t think that’s correct, but Flair is going with it. They get the straps back, but The Insiders get the rematch at Starrcade.
We cut to a scene outside, where Mike Awesome is lamenting about how cold it is. Suddenly, Bam Bam just bursts out of the back of a random ambulance and beats him down, telling him it’s go time at Starrcade. Apparently WCW is setting up the entire card a week before the go home show. Nice.
Reno vs KroniK
It was suppose to be a one on one, I suppose. But they both end up kicking the crap out of Reno as the match goes no where. Vito then comes out to save Reno. Clearly, Reno’s girlfriend set this all up. Very engrossing.
Flair tells the troops to be prepared for Steiner. So, Sid can chokeslam a guy in the ring and get arrested. But apparently Steiner can go around sexually harassing & killing people, and not always in that order, and WCW has no way to stop him, other than to tell Doug Dillinger to keep his eyes peeled.
MI Smooth vs Goldberg
Yeah, you read that right, MI Smooth. I have zero idea who this guy is. Apparently he drives The Cat’s limo, and that’s enough to get him a shot at Goldberg. You know what happens here.
Goldberg finish at .48 | *
Seriously, as ridiculous as the whole thing is, Goldberg is actually getting over again.
Double J vs Konnan
This was more to build up the 6 man tag at Starrcade, as The Harris Brother show up to H-Bomb Konnan, allowing Jarrett to hit the Stroke. The Animals are displeased.
Double J hits the Stroke & the pin at 2:29 | *
Scott Steiner © vs General Boner – WCW World Championship
Boner gets a few shots in at the beginning, but his run pretty much ends there. Steiner’s offense is what you’d expect. A lot of punches & kicks, and perhaps, if you’re lucky, the occasional suplex. Boner mans up a come back that results in him hitting the No Laughing Matter. Steiner kicks out, and promptly throws Boner in the Recliner for the victory. Nothing too terrible. Afterwards, Scott gets on the mic and tells Ric that time is up. He walks backstage, finds Arn Anderson, and proceeds to beat the hell out of him. He drags him to the ring, and slaps on the ol’ Recliner. Goldberg rushes out to make the save, but just as he’s about to hit the ring, Luger jumps outta no where and waffles Goldberg with a chair repeatedly. That was pretty well done, didn’t see that coming. Sid shows up, along with security, and about 20 men are between Steiner & Sid as they fight to get to each other as the show goes off the air. The match wasn’t much to talk about, but the last few minutes were pretty damn good.
Boner taps out to the Recliner at 7:22 | *1/2
No joke, this was a great show. Nothing terrible on the match front, with a great opener, and while not a technical masterpiece, an exciting closer. The various skits, vignettes, and interviews were for the most part entertaining, got their point across without being bogged down, convoluted & stupid, and they actually did a decent job of setting up Starrcade. Far better than any other PPV this year. I can easily say that this was the best Nitro of the year, without a doubt.