I’m back, baaaaaby! My Net was down so I couldn’t cover Mayhem, and most likely that’s how the situation is going to stay for the next PPV unless I can get my Internet fixed.[Note From Caliber: Oh sure, any excuse to duck out of a Steiner-headlined PPV] My Comcast Internet has just stopped working for just about no reason, and I’ve had to use the local Internet which doesn’t work half the time. The only way that I’m going to be able to even send this review is to save it to a flashdrive and send it to Caliber through my brother’s computer (he has an adapter), and that’s if my brother’s in the “right” mood to let me on his computer. This is the shit I have to go through to give a review to you ungrateful bastards.
Now my friend Ben has started getting into wrestling lately and so I’ve been watching A LOT of wrestling lately, I’m pretty burnt out but I have to get this review done. So this review might come out more negative than usual just because I’m so burnt out on wrestling in general, and I’m probably going to continue being burnt out as tomorrow’s the Raw leading up to Mania. So let’s get this shit started.
We start off with a special bulletin, and some guy about to announce who the next President of the United States is. I’m wondering if the guy recorded something else and accidentally put it under “Nitro 11. 27. 2000” untill Jeff Jarrett comes out and hits the guy with a guitar just as he’s about to announce who the next President is. Yup, I’m watching Nitro, alright.
Clips from Mayhem, I didn’t bother with the show as the review was less than flattering, and the one match I was looking forward to, Booker/Steiner, ends with Booker getting decimated. The show starts off with A LOT of pyro, I really don’t think the company had money to waste on two minutes of pyro at this time.
Three Count is out, except its just Shannon Moore and Shane Helms. Misfits in Action interrupt the dancing and we’ve got an impromptu match.
1st Match: “Three” Count vs Not Glenn Danzig
God, this quality on the torrent here is atrocious as the tape keeps on having blue flashes, and making that annoying fucked tape sound. Misfits kick ass to start. Chavo brings Moore into the corner and hits a nice dropkick. Cajun with a DDT for two. Three Count sucks chant going on. Shannon hits a fameasser for two. Nothing much happening yet, wrestling is going on but the pace is really awkward, and slow. Helms in and he hits Cajun with a superkick. Moore in with punches in bunches. Cajun reverses a whip and hits a cool Facebuster off the ropes. Tag to Chavo, and the heat segment here was way too fast to mean anything, rounding in at around two minutes. Chavo’s a house of fire but Three Count team up on him.
Then Johnny Courageous [NFC: Do you mean Evan Keragias? Are you gonna start calling Scott Steiner, Steve Einstein?] comes down to the ring with a ladder, hits Moore with it, and Chavo hits a brainbuster. I have no idea why the Ref didn’t call that as he saw it go down right in front of him. [NFC: I noticed that lately people have been doing all sorts of shit in front of the ref and they couldn’t careless]
DUD Match had real promise with who was in it, but the pace was awkward, and clunky, and just as it started to click, it ended.
Storm attacks Ernest Miller backstage with a chair. Miller has to be the most annoying character on the show, and Storm’s God so I’m okay with this.
Mean Gene’s in the ring, looking as sexy as ever, and he introduces Scott Steiner [NFC: Steve Einstein] to the ring. Scott comes out with Midaja, and she does look kinda hot. I have to wonder though, what the fuck is that thing Steiner wears on his head? What is the material? Who even wears that? It looks like shitty plastic. I wonder if it feels really nice. Anyway, Steiner cuts a usual Steiner promo, tells the fans to kiss his ass, talks about how good he is in the bed, and says that everyone else is a pussy. Caliber, seriously though, what the fuck is Steiner wearing on his head? [NFC: You mean that black, Batman mask sorta thing? Not sure. It reminds me of those faceguards basketball players use, so perhaps that’s it. Although to be honest, I’m sure it has something to do with sexual assault]
The fans start chanting Goldberg so Steiner mentions how he beat Goldberg last time they wrestled. He then says he’s about to force the fans to kiss his ass, and before that can happen, unfortunately, Ric Flair comes out. Flair tells Steiner that he’s the man. Flair pumps up Steiner’s ego a lot, saying he’s the best champion, but then tells him he also has responsibility that comes along with being the champion. Flair says that he’s got his own opponent for Steiner…. at Starrcade. Steiner tries to figure out who the contender is, and mentions Steve Austin (“I beat his ass when he was in WCW”) and Dwayne (“He’s too much of a pussy to show up here, if ya smell…”). Then Stevie Ray comes out and challenges Steiner to a match, but Flair says its not happening right now. Ray and Steiner throw lame insults at each other, and then Steiner makes the stipulation that its the title vs Ray’s career. Ray takes the stipulation, ans Flair makes the match happen later tonight. I like this angle, that Ray’s so emotional about his brother that he’s literally going to risk his career to get revenge, but the match is going to blow, because its Stevie Ray and Steiner.
Kronik are backstage, being burly as fuck, [NFC: Yeah, I bet. As I’m sure this time around they actually managed to find sunglasses made out of silk, thus everything they wore was finally all silk] as Disco and Alex Wright try to buy them to do shit. Kronik makes them pay three times as much as last time, as Inferno/Wright don’t have enough money. What the fuck was the point of that? General Rection is mad at Bigelow or some shit, and I’m going to have to suffer through them wrestling. God. WCW pimps Backstage Assualt, which is considered to be one of WCW’s worst games.
2nd Match: Yang w/ Laia Meow or some shit vs Lance Storm w/ Major Gunns
Major Gunns has gotten a lot hotter since turning heel, I mean she’s with Lance, she must be smart. Lance does the Canadian Anthem which gets broken up by Yang. What a dick, just because your Japanese, and your names Yang doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have cultural appreciation. Storm hits him with a superkick and a backbreaker for two. Lance with kicks, and he rams Yang into the corner. USA chant… the crowd must be fucking retarded. Yang with punches in bunches, I’m sure the USA chant really fired him up. Spinebuster from Yang for two. Gunns has big tits. Yang with a roll up for two.
Yang goes up with a moonsault for two. Lance reverses a whip, and Gunns grabs Yang’s legs, and Storm hits a SICK looking piledriver. Outside of the ring and Gunns and Laia get into a fight. The Ref’s looking at that while Miller runs out and hits Storm with a chair, and Yang pins Storm. So now Storm has to feud with Miller? Fucking lame.
1.0/5.0 Yang got to look decent, but the match was eaten up from camera shots at Gunns, and the SE shit.
Disco Inferno and Wright meet Harris Brothers, and Harris Brothers will do what they want for beer and sandwiches. That’s how I get Caliber to review these shows.
Luger comes out to the ring and he’s looking pretty big. Luger says he’s going to end Goldberg’s streak, or career or some shit. Luger then says this next announcement is going to be the most important announcement in pro wrestling history, and that its more important than anything in his whole life. Luger bitches that Goldberg attacked a Referee and that Goldberg is fired from WCW for doing that. Goddamn, everything with Luger past 97 is so slow, and horrible. His promos are so dry, boring, and you know that nothing actually important is going to happen. [NFC: Pssh! Apparently someone hasn’t seen the Death of Lex Luger. Youtube that shit, and eat your words! A stunning masterpiece!] Luger says he’s going to talk to Flair about Goldberg being fired. Ugh, this is sooooo bad. You obviously know Goldberg’s not going to get fired, its fucking Goldberg. And for ko’ing a Ref? Jesus.
A limo arrives adding suspense to who’s going to be Steiner’s opponent at Starrcade. We can only hope its Kevin Sullivan. [NFC: Honestly, I’m surprised that the guy getting out of the limo wasn’t Scott Steiner] Jeff Jarrett starts cutting some promo about how he’s going to fuck up Rey Mysterio so the Filthy Animals throw stuff at him, and then run away. I’m sure Jarrett’s going to be really threatened now. Vito is talking to Dawn Marie in Italian lingo, and then he leaves, and Reno starts hitting on sister. I’m getting really tired of the whole Italian talking shit, I mean I just watched Out For Justice the other day.
3rd Match: Jamie Knoble and Johnny Courageous [NFC: Seriously, where did you come up with this?] vs Boogie Knights
Jesus, forty minutes into the show and I’ve already had too much. Wright talks in a BRITISH ACCENT and tells Americans they’re stupid. Jesus. The Knights have come out with a bag, and Inferno tells Harris Brothers its their payment. Harris Brothers come out, and Inferno gives them their payment. So…. we’ve got a change in the match…
3rd Match: Jamie Knoble and Johnny Courageous vs Ron Harris and Alex Wright
Why didn’t the Boogie Knights just have the Harris Brothers wrestle for them? Noble in and Harris destroys him for a bit but runs into a boot. Knoble up with a dropkick for one. Harris gets back up and hits a stiff looking big boot. Wright in for two as Courageous breaks it up. Dropkick off the top from Johnny. Knoble needs Johnny’s help but Johnny decides to dance instead. Johnny and Knoble start teaming up but Harris comes in. Knoble starts fucking up Ron Harris so the other one comes in, and they hit an H Bomb on Knoble, and Wright pins Wright for the win.
2.5/5.0 Pretty decent actually, I like the weird team up of Knoble and Johnny, and I also am curious to where the Knights/Harris angle is going to go. The match was pretty good too, Knoble looked really good in the ring.
Cut to Flair talking about the situation with Goldberg/Luger, and Flair says that Goldberg is not responsible for the DQ as Luger pulled the Ref in the way, and he makes a rematch for them at Starrcade. Jesus.
Nash and DDP come out. I kind of like the idea of Nash and DDP being together as a tag team just because they’re both pretty interesting characters, and the fact that Nash was a big heel, and DDP was a big face in the late 90s so you never would’ve seen this then. However, Nash is just such a horrid wrestler at this point that I feel he’s not really going to do anything but drag DDP down. Nash and Page pump up the crowd, and Page yells, “Hey yo!” He tries to do the Survey Says thing but the crowd just chants for Hall. Page talks about how he used to be a manager for Hall and Nash when they were a tag team, and everyone told them they sucked but then they became the Outsiders. Page says if Nash and Hall are the Outsiders than they must be The Insiders. Nash and Page are working pretty well on the mic together actually. Nash says that they’re Two Sweet, but before he could go on Wolfpac music comes on.[NFC: Honestly, they’re not a bad team. DDP does the majority of the work, and places the face in peril, while Nash does the hot tags & power moves. It’s a perfect position for him]
Out comes the Natural Born Thrillers. Sanders tells DDP and Nash that they’re old and that they should make room for new people, like Stasiak, and Jindrak. He books a match for Starracade but Page doesn’t want to wait ’till then. And we’ve got a match.
4th Match: Kevin Nash and DDP (C) vs Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Hare for the World Tag Team Championships
I do want to add that I like Nash and DDP being Tag Champions because its makes the belts feel important instead of just there. Nash hits some flashy offense and tag to Page. Jindrak in with a springboard clothesline for two. Jindrak chokes out Page on the ropes and O’Hare’s in. They throw Page into the corner a couple times, and hit a double clothesline. Fans are being Page. Jindrak back in and Page with a flying headscissors for two as Jindrak breaks it up. Nash and O’Hare fight on the outside, and on the inside Page hits a Diamond Cutter for two as Sanders ko’s the Ref. Nash goes to attack Sanders, when Reno, and… someone else, attack Nash, and Page. Pulambo and Sean Stasiak steal the belts.
1.0/5.0 Decent little match, DDP and Nash had the attention of the crowd, and Nash was in there for such a short while that it hid his weaknessess. I really do like the team up of Nash/DDP as they have a lot of chemistry, and make the belts feel important. However, the problems here are big. The match itself was way too sped up and sloppy, DDP and Nash made O’Hare and Jindrak look like little bitches, and the ending scmhozz was overly complicated, and ridiculous. The only purpose it served is to possibly set up a huge tag match at Starrcade. I think that’s the worst possible situation considering the great idea they have with Nash and DDP, they should be building them up right now, and have them beat somebody in a regular tag match at Starrcade so the focus will be more on them, rather than everyone.
Mean Gene interviewing Stevie Ray backstage. Ray will do anything he can to get his hands on Steiner, as he’s pissed that he touched Booker. Pretty standard promo really.
5th Match: Reno vs Goldberg
Poor Reno. Reno with punches in bunches but they don’t faze Goldberg. Goldberg with a clothesline and then a pressslam. The crowd is REALLY hot for everything Goldberg’s doing here. Reno tries to hit a reverse DDT but Goldberg reverses into a shoulderbreaker, spear, suplex thing, and its over. [NFC: Honestly, we clown the fact that WCW was seriously just doing the same exact shit with Goldberg as in 1998, but it was working. The crowds were digging it.]
1.0/5.0 Just because the crowd was really into it.
Luger attacks Goldberg after the match, and this prompts the lamest selling I’ve ever seen. Luger comes in the ring with a chair, hits Goldberg, he waits ten seconds, and then falls to the ground. Luger puts Goldberg in the Rack. I could not care less about this feud. God, the match is going to be terrible.
6th Match: Bam Bigelow vs General Rection
Jesus. Bigelow brings Rection into the corner and hits him with punches in bunches. Rection comes back with an armbar into a wristlock but Bigelow gets out with an eyepoke. Bigelow brings Rection into the corner and starts choking him out. This match is already weird as it has absolutely no flow, it just feels like they’re doing things to fill time. Bigelow into a chinlock. Lameeeeee. Rection gights out and knocks Bigelow down with a slothesline, [NFC: Really? He gights out and hits a slothesline? Are you typing via head-butts only?] and a cool belly to belly suplex. Rection goes up top but misses an elbow. Bigelow with a powerbomb and he goes outside, and sets up a table. Bigelow is about to put Rection through it when Wall comes, takes the table. Bigelows distracted giving Rection time to attack Bigelow, and then he hits a moonsault for the win.
1.0/5.0 Better than I thought it was going to be but it was like five minutes, and only two of them were passable.
Steiner says that Booker T’s a liar as he didn’t die like he said he would to lose the title, and then Steiner goes out to the limo to beat up whoever he’s going to wrestle at Starrcade. He opens the door and a bunch of women come out. Some black guy tells him that the women are for Flair, so Steiner beats him up. Making me pretty curious to who’s wrestling Steiner at Starrcade actually. [NFC: Haha, I know who it is, and man are you going to be disappointed.]
7th Match: Jeff Jarrett vs Rey Mysterio
This could be good. Rey with punches and Jeff runs off the ropes but Tygress trips him. Rey with a springboard dropkick for two. Rey runs into a big boot from Jeff. Jeff throws Rey into the corner but Rey puts his feet up but runs into a powerslam for two. Kidman trips up Jeff on the outside and Rey hits a legdrop off the top for two. Jarrett catches Rey and is about to snake eyes him into the ropes but Rey gets out, and sets up Jarrett for a bronco but Jarrett puts his boot up. Jeff crushes Rey on the ropes. Konnan trips up Jarrett on the outside this time, and Jarrett tries to run on Rey while he’s on the ropes again but this time Rey moves. Rey hits a lionsault for two. Rey with a dropkick, and Konnan distracts the Referee while the other members of the Filthy Animals attack Jarrett on the inside. Tygress and Rey do a Bronco Buster to Jarrett on inside. Rey comes off the ropes but Jarrett catches Rey in a powerbomb, and then Jarrett hits the Stroke for two as The Filthy Animals take Jarrett to the outside and attack him. The Referee is again distracted with Tygress. Jarrett just is kinda like fuck it, and hits Rey with his guitar drawing a DQ win for Rey.
2.5/5.0 Pretty interesting match, and I kinda liked the backwards heel/face dynamic, though the match made Rey look like a real bitch. He can’t beat Jeff Jarrett with the help of three people?
Main Event: Stevie Ray vs Scott Steiner w/ Madeja (C) for the World Heavyweight Championship
The limo’s arrived. Ray attacks Steiner on the ramp during his entrance. Ray chokes out Steiner but Madeja hits Ray with Steiner’s pipe from behind. Now Steiner has the advantage. Steiner throws Ray from rail to rail, and punches him around. Steiner throws Ray in, and now the bell rings.
This match is getting really, really slow. Steiner’s doing that thing were he’ll do some punches, jaw with the crowd, more punches, etc… Ray tries to mount a comeback but runs into an inverted atomic drop, and an elbow into some push ups. Steiner brings Ray into the corner and does some SLOW knees. Fuck, this is boring. Steiner throws Ray to the outside, and then whips him into the rail in slow motion. Steiner with some weak looking chairshots right in front of the ref. Back in because shit was getting too exciting I guess. Ray dodges a charge in the corner but then eats a belly to belly from Steiner for two.
Steiner runs into an elbow and Ray does the sloppiest looking superkick. Ray hits a DDT but then gets distracted by Madeja so Steiner hits a suplex. Then a backbreaker. Jesus, this match is so boring. Steiner tries to go off the top but eats a Book End for two. Everything Steiner and Ray has don in this match has been slow, and looks super safe. Ray takes Steiner to the outside and does a really safe chairshot to the head. Back in, and Steiner hits a really sloppy German for two. Stevie hits the shittiest pedigree (yes, a pedigree, I don’t know why) ever for two. Ray gets distracted by Madeja again, like the retard he is, and Steiner hits a shitty electric chair for the win.
-5/5 Holy fuck, you want a match that’s worse than Steiner/Trips Royal Rumble 2003? Watch this, at least in the match some of Steiner’s suplexes look good and Trips isn’t totally blown up. In this all the offense looks horrid, the match feels like its done in slow motion, and it tells absolutely no story. Ray’s blown up even though he barely has any offense in this match, and Steiner has to carry the bulk of the match. That should tell you how bad this is, STEINER’S CARRYING! Compared to the Rey/Jarrett match this match looks even worse in comparison.
Sid Vicious comes out to set up Steiner/Sid at Starrcade. Fuck. [NFC: Haha, told you]
Final Thoughts: Without Booker T or Sting this show really sucked. Steiner as champion is just a horrible, horrible thing, and without someone good to carry him he is fucked. Steiner also works best when he’s in the big guy vs little guy dynamic, so Ray vs Steiner sucked, and so is Steiner/Sid. Still though, at least Steiner has an interesting personality, and is one of those so horrible you want to watch things when it comes to his promos. With the Luger/Goldberg feud you don’t even have that. Luger is boring as fuck, and poses no challenge to Goldberg what so ever. Also, the match is going to suck. The only thing I really liked in this show that directly relates to Starrcade was the formation of DDP/Nash, who are actually a pretty good tag team, they have good chemistry, good on the mic, and give the tag belts a sense of importance. And of course instead of focusing on them we have a clusterfuck which is going to probably lead to some big ass bleh of a match at Starrcade. The best part of the show was Jarrett/Mysterio but that probably would’ve been a lot better if they let Mysterio look good instead of having the Animals attack Jarrett every five seconds. Not really an offensive show, except for that last match, but pretty boring all over. I miss Booker and have absolutely no motivation to watch Starrcade.