Monday Nitro – November 13th, 2000 – Sebastian

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Special from London this week, this episode is somewhat rare as it wasn’t on my Torrent and I had to find it on Youtube, here’s the description.

“The one and only time Nitro was held the UK. WCW was not in good shape at this point but this is an interesting piece of history and is held at London Arena with the crowd making for a decent atmosphere”

This place is sold out big time and is huge compared to Nitro’s usual crowd. Most of the wrestlers come out to the ring to start the show. Highlights are Booker T, Sting, Kronik, Buff Bagwell, and a shitload of other people. After everyone else comes out Flair comes out. Wooooo, bitches! Flair goes on about how the talents better in WCW than “anywhere” else. Flair mentions Mike Sanders, who despite being featured heavily on Nitro for months, gets absolutely no reaction from the crowd. Flair says Sanders is going to defend his Crusierweight Title tonight, and the crowd does not care as they just wanna woooo. Flair then sets up some crazy ass four tag team match for tonight, who then get a World title shot after Mayhem. Holy shit, that’s complex. By the way, I’ve heard that Booker T/Steiner match from Mayhem is really, really good. Flair starts listing off the randomly decided tag teams for tonight’s four way match.

Team number one is Mike Awesome/Bam Bam Bigelow, which neither guy likes. Second team is Booker T/Lex Luger. Team 3 is Alex Wright/Disco Inferno. Team four is Steiner and…. Sting. Damn, I really like this scenario, this is damn interesting. Steiner isn’t in the ring though, so Flair tells Steiner he better get out to the ring. Steiner comes out with Medusa and Jesus, he’s wearing this cut off shirt and his arms are fucking ridiculous. Booker attacks Steiner as soon as he gets in the ring leading to everyone in the ring fighting, and then everyone on the outside comes in, and a giant clusterfuck results.

Interesting way to start the show, I’m really interested in what’s going to happen with these teams, but at the same time am a little cautious that they could end up booking all the tag teams the same, and it could become predictable and boring. So I’m interested but we’re skating on thin ice here.

LANCE FUCKING STORM IS BACKSTAGE!!!!!! YEAH BITCH!!! Lance says he wants Rection tonight and Sanders gives it to him, oh great, get to see Lance job again.

1st Match: Vito vs Crowbar (C) for the Hardcore Championship

I like both of these guys, and since we’re in London we have a better chance of an actual, y’know, match happening instead of five minutes of good stuff interrupted with interference. Vito fucks up Crowbar right away, and brings him to the outside were he hits this crazy unprotected chair shot to the head. They fight into the fans and Vito plasters Crowbar with a trash lid. Shitty crowd brawling as there isn’t any room to do anything as the arena is fucking packed for once. They fight to the backstage, and Vito throws Crowbar into a bathroom door but Crowbar comes back with a trash can lid shot, but runs into a Fisherman’s Suplex into a table full of food. Vito brings Crowbar back through the crowd to the outside of the ring. Vito pulls out a table and the crowd is fucking PUMPED!!! Holy shit, this is WCW’s best crowd since Australia, and its probably hotter than them.

Crowbar reverses a whip into the rail, and hits Vito with a chairshot. Its kinda pussy compared to the one Crowbar took earlier in the match. Crowbar comes off the apron with a shitty kind of half flop that barely looks like offense. Crowbar goes for a suplex to send Vito through the table but Vito reverses into a neckbreaker! Vito sets Crowbar up on the table and goes up to the top rope, but Crowbar rolls off the table. Vito goes back to the outside and FUCKS UP Crowbar with some more trash lid shots to the head. Jesus, Crowbar is one badass motherfucker. More unprotected shots but this time with a trashcan. Into the ring now, and Vito’s setting the table in the middle of the ring. Crowbar can barely stand, and Vito goes for a kick but Crowbar falls, which leads to Vito accidentally koing the Ref. Second kick hits and Vito sets Crowbar up as he goes to the top rope, when Reno comes to the ring and hits Vito with a baseball bat. Crowbar’s back up and hits a SICK superplex off the top into the table!

4.0/5.0 Great hardcore match and tons of fun, with a HOT crowd. Crowbar took some sick ass shots here to add to the story of the match, and the reversals were really natural, and well done. I feel it would’ve been better if Crowbar could’ve won cleanly instead of having the help of Reno because honeslty, who the fuck cares about Reno? Still though, both guys come out looking tough as fuck, and the crowd is happy that they got their table spot (they were chanting tables almost nonstop when Vito introduced it).

KEVIN NASH IS WALKING!!! Or I guess, if I was to quote Brandon Stroud, “KEVIN NASH IS MAKING POOPIES 3> or whatever. You have to know the reference to get it I guess. [Note From Caliber: Which no one here does, including myself, so we all thank you for making the joke ]. Awesome and Bigelow bicker, no one cares.

The Natural Born Thrillers come out, this story’s getting really lame with them losing by wacky communications but I’m kind of looking forward to whatever stupidness Nash is going to do. I wish this angle wasn’t taken as seriously as we could get some good humor scenes with Nash. But as it turns out the Natural Born Thrillers turned on Nash last week on Nitro, or Thunder or some shit, and now we get to see some “epic” Nash vs A Bunch of Evil Big Guys thing. SO LAME. Stasiak gets on the mic and says that Nash has fallen to Evolution. Hmmm, Evolution? Stasiak talks some more shit when Nash’s music hits. You know, its not like this angle was Nash was a great guy who helped Natural Born Thrillers and they turned on him just to be dicks, its more like, Nash was an asshole who gave stupid advice that were only jokes, and forced them into being a tag team when they had problems. He wasn’t the best mentor.

Nash’s voice cracks in his lame ass promo saying that Natural Born Killers think they’re better than they are, and that they didn’t finish Kevin off, so he’s come back, STRONGER THAN EVER! KEVIN NASH IS OBI WAN KENOBI AND LUKE SKYWALKER!!!!! Sanders sets up a triple threat match wit the NBK against Nash and Nash agrees. If Nash really beats all of them at the same time, I’m gonna be pretty pissed.

Sting is getting interviewed about being teamed with Steiner. Sting cuts a pretty intense promo about how he works best when he’s in situations that don’t make sense, and if he and Steiner can work together they’ll be back in the mix. Yeah, Steiner’s in a lot of trouble of being left out of the mix, that world title shot at the upcoming PPV really has me scared that he might end up not doing important things. Elix Skipper hits on some chick and Ernest Miller throws water on him setting up a match for later tonight. I actually like the angle of jive talking hood rat going up against a guy who thinks he’s the shit because he dances, or something.

2nd Match: Mike Awesome and Bam Bam Bigelow (Who has a cool ass theme song) vs Scott Steiner w/ Medusa and Sting

Caliber…. would you bang Medusa? Just have to throw that one out there.[NFC: No, I wouldn’t. I don’t find her very attractive, and she always seemed like she had a mom butt.]

I know I’ve said it before but Steiner’s arms are disgustingly big. Sting’s theme is pretty rad [NFC: That’s because it’s 80’s Metallica] and into the action right away with both teams tornadoing to start. Sting and Steiner team up to clean house. The crowds pretty funny as they half cheer and half boo for the team of Steiner/Sting. Steiner and Sting get into it with each other, with punches as Awesome, and Bigelow come back in to get advantage. That’s actually really cool, all of the WWE guy teams up with guy he doesn’t like matches are so formulaic, and always end with the one dude not tagging, but this has them brawling two minutes into the match! Very cool. Would enjoy it more if my Internet wasn’t going out every five fucking minutes!

Awesome throws Sting around like a rag doll, but Sting comes back with a clothesline, and a tag to Steiner. Bigelow in and Steiner hits a nice T-Bone Suplex to Bigelow! Awesome in with a tilt the world slam to Steiner! This match is kicking ass! Awesome to the top rope but Sting catches Awesome on the top and Steiner goes up for a belly to belly suplex off the top, into the Steiner Recliner for the win.

3.0/5.0 Really solid stuff that seemed really important, and fun but I wish the match was given more time as it was really working.

Bigelow attacks Awesome after the match because ITS YOUR FAULT (Caliber, 80s bullies reference). Jimmy Hart talks about how he knocked out Andy Kaufman.. These two lame asses want to give Kronik their chance at the tournament but Kronik are so fucking cool that they make the team pay them to take their spots! Yes! Kronik are fucking rad! Flair sees what happened on TV and says he’ll take care of it. I kinda like how managers always act like they don’t know what happened on their own TV show when they should’ve been watching the entire thing. Booker gets interviewed and says he doesn’t trust Luger, but booyah, and I’m gonna get with you. Flair goes up to Alex and Disco (the guys who sold their match to Kronik, and also gave them money because Kronik’s that cool), and Flair says they’re in for a surprise tonight. General Rection calls Lance Storm a moron, followed by Lash Leroux saying quite possibly the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say ever.

“Lance, you’re always talking about how you’re smart, and superior because you’re Canadian. Well, it makes me wonder if you even are a Canadian!”

Seriously, what in the fuck? Rection really comes across as a dick bully here with his mean assed buddies behind him, threatening Storm and saying he’s going to end him simply because he wants the title. If I wasn’t watching before I’d probably think that Storm was the face. My Internet will not stop going out and its driving me batshit insane, why is this the one episode they didn’t have on Torrent, and why did I have to do it on a day when my Internet’s so fucked? [NFC: Because, you always get the decent episodes, and I always get the ones where Russo wrestles a 15 hour Ironman On A Pole match]

3rd Match: Kronik vs Lex Luger and Booker T

This should be interesting. “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.”- Pretty Ricky

I really doubt anyone’s going to get that reference. This crowd is fucking PUMPED for Booker, holy shit. Booker goes to a hammerlock but Bryan fights out but runs into a Harlem kick. Booker tags in Luger and Luger hits an axehandle to Clarke as the match pace slows down to a crawl as soon as he comes in. Adams in and he eats really slow, lame clotheslines from Luger. Really safe looking suplex from Luger. Luger is light years behind Booker, its pretty pathetic. Adams hits Luger with a piledriver as Clarke comes in. Holy shit, this match has become SO SLOW! Luger can’t take offense fast either, he’s so slow to get up, and his selling blows. He’s acting like he’s dead even though he’s been hit by exactly one fucking move. Booker in and match pace picks up again.

Booker goes for the Scissors Kick and crowd is fucking pumped again, Booker hits it but gets distracted by Adams, and Clarke goes low to Booker. Booker comes back with punches in bunches and a clothesline for two. I think they fucked up the low blow spot as Booker is legitimately going ten times slower than he was before hand, and when they did the spot Booker and Clarke just stood around holding each other for like ten seconds. Booker comes back in with a missile dropkick, and goes for the Book End when Steiner comes in, and hits Booker with a lead pipe while the Ref’s busy cleaning his nails or something. Kronik hit the double chokeslam for the win.

2.0/5.0 Match was so short but when Booker was in there it was solid, well at least ’till the fucked up low blow spot. Luger brought the match pace down so badly though, I wish Booker was teamed up with someone who could actually still go.

We get some ads from the show, and we see this promo for Thunder that’s really well done, and makes the show look ten times more exciting than it actually is. Then we get Diet-ZX. Seems like a good place to link Maddox. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=xenical

Kronik get interviewed because Kronik. Clarke talks about how much they kick ass, because they’re burly as fuck. [NFC: Guys who dress like they’re at a gay Rave that was hit with Gamma rays are not burly] Adams says that they’re not going to break up if they end up winning the tournament, and if one member of Kronik ends up winning the title both members win. I really like, its a nice change of pace from the usual lame assed, “What? You think you’re going to win the title? But I wanted to win!” Also, Adams is pretty good on the mic whereas Clarke… not so much.

4th Match: Chuck Palumbo vs Shawn Stasiak vs Sean O’Hare vs Kevin Nash

This is probably going to suck. Palumbo actually gets offense to start giving me hope that Nash will make these guys look good. Nash comes back and whips Chuck all across the ring and hits a sidewalk slam for two. Nash hits Palumbo with knees in the corner. Nash with more boring slow, repetitive offense and I’m yawning. You know, Daniel Bryan’s wrestling Randy Orton tonight and I’m watching this. Then again, its not for the title and I’m SO tired of the WWE cock teasing us with Daniel Bryan. Anyway, Stastiak in with a pretty cool jumping back elbow for two. Palumbo in with a sidewalk slam for two. So borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. Super slow offense and Nash has to be the worst babyface ever. I do not give any fucks about Nash, or him coming back. I don’t even really buy that he’s in trouble because he never wrestles, and when he does he wins. And as I’m typing that Nash comes back and takes out all three guys by himself. Nash goes to powerbomb Stasiak, and Tenay tells me this is what we all wanted to see. Yeah….. Sanders comes in and Nash fucks him up too, and takes out all guys untill some other guy comes in with a clothesline from the top rope, and hits a swantom bomb. They all team up on Nash and I don’t give a flying fuck.

DUD This angle wasn’t well built what so ever, and Nash isn’t sympathetic, or a master of selling what so ever. His offense was boring, and he’s so limited it made the other guys have to slow themselves down. The only person who could get a good match out of Nash at this point was Jericho (2003 Raw match).

There’s a commercial for some lame ass movie called Vertical Assault or something where some guy is attacked by an avalanche, there’s like seventy thousand movies with the same plot. Then there’s some other commercial were this dude has his wife ask him to do something so he ignores her and watches TV all day. Jesus, I hate watching TV during the day. There’s never anything on, y’know during the commercial this guy seems really happy too. He’s fat and the best part of his life is watching TV. I mean holy shit, how fucking lame can you get?

5th Match: Ernest Miller w/ Some Chick vs Elix Skipper

That last match has put me in total apathy, I just do not care what I’m typing at this point. And the colored girl says, “Doo doo doo doo.” And she said take a walk on the wild side, babe.

Ernest Miller does some kicks that look pretty good to Skipper. Ernest goes up for the ten punch as my Internet goes out. Woooooooooooooo! YAY! I get to sit around rebooting my Internet for the next ten minutes! FUCK YEAH!!!!

Okay I’m back, and I’ve skipped a minute past where I was, and Skippy has control. On the outside of the ring, and Elix is talking shit to Ms. Jones… so she kicks him in the face!? That was kinda cool actually. Back in the ring and Miller comes back with an elbow and gets out of a sunset flip with a punch. Miller with the shittiest, most blown uppercut ever as Skipper moved way too fast. Skipper comes back with a nice backdrop suplex and goes inside his pants for a ring. Ernest dodges… and wow, the really hot crowd is just DEAD for this match. Its kinda sad. Miller hits a kick which gets a polite pop for the win.

DUD Wasn’t that bad, but wasn’t good or noteworthy. The crowd was dead and there wasn’t much of a story.

More commercials, seeing a computer from back in 2000 is fucking ridiculous. Why were they so fucking big? I don’t mean the monitor, I mean the actual computer. That thing is HUGE! My computer is actually in the monitor which is pretty cool. These commercials are telling me to watch more TV, preferably Direct TV and HBO. I really hate Direct TV’s Guide, its horribly structured, it just seems randomly placed all over. Comcast is a lot better organized, though Direct TV has better Internet. [NFC: First computer I had was like, $1600, with a rockin’ 56k modem, and a MASSIVE 2.5g harddrive. Str8 lording!]

6th Match: Alex Wright and Disco Inferno vs ?????????????????????????????????????

Jesus, Alex Wright looks so lame. AND OH SHIT!!!! ITS GOLDBERG ITS GOLDBERG BY GOD ITS GOLDBERG!!!! THESE PEOPLE HAVE FAMILIES DAMMIT!!! THAT SICK SON OF A BITCH!!! HE’S GONNA KILL THEM, BY GWAD!!!

The crowd is fucking crazy for Goldberg, its by far the biggest pop of the night, and its ridiclous. Boogie Nights run away, and Goldberg looks at Wright as Disco attacks Goldberg but Goldberg comes back with a big boot, and a pump handle throw away slam. Wright comes in with a nice looking missile dropkick for two. Wright with European Uppercuts which Goldberg no sells, and he starts killing Wright with punches but Disco comes in. Goldberg spears Disco, and then kind of…. I don’t even know… throws Alex, and then a spear to him. Jackhammer to Disco, and then another Jackhammer to Wright, as he pins both guys for the win. Considering the crowd is this hot they really should’ve done something other than have him in a jobber match.

“You’re so boring, oh so boring, always tape machine recording. Your emotions, make you a monster.”- Dead Kennedys, Your Emotions; This is exactly how I feel about the second half of this show, they’re basically saying, oh this is what you like? Well fuck you, we’re going to give Kevin Nash, Ernest Miller, and jobber matches. Jesus.

There’s some commercial for some lame ass grunge kids in the jungle or something, the only cool part about the commercial is that Born To Be Wild is playing in the background. This lame ass movie does not deserve a song that cool. What is it about late 90s, mid 2000s commercials that make me feel like my brain is rotting? The commercials are fun to watch either because they’re funny, or because of how dated they are, or random they are, but after watching them for a while I just feel braindead. Then again, it could just be the Caffeine comedown, my Internet dying, and the shows horrible booking bringing me down.

We get that commercial of that dipshit watching TV all day, I guess I’ll give a better description of the commercial. This guys wife asks him to file insurance or some shit, but he just sits watching TV all day, and then at the last minute does it online on his shitty 2000 computer. We were reading on studies done back in the 90s and people actually used to watch TV a lot more back then, whereas people now are more into texting and shit. Most of my friends don’t even really watch TV as they’re too busy going on Facebook, and texting people. I thought it would be a bit of an interesting comparison between generations.

7th Match: Lance Storm vs General Rection(C) w/ Major Gunns for the US/Canadian Title

This is bad idea to put Storm on last, the crowd isn’t going to react as well after having Goldberg out there right beforehand. Storm tells Rection not to be a pussy, and to come out with none of his buddies.This match is being given about sixteen minutes unless we have some stuff at the end of the show.

Rection with a back body drop, Lance tries chopping him but gets the no sell and does some of his own chops. Lance hits a low blow but the Referee doesn’t give a fuck. Suplex by Rection and clotheslines, that send Lance to the outside. Rection pulls out the mats to show the floor, and goes to suplex Storm but Storm does A SICK REVERSAL as he DDT’s Rection on the concrete floor! Holy fuck! Storm brings Rection in and hits a missile dropkick for two. Rection goes for a Crossface but Storm’s obviosuly technically better so he easily rolls out of it. Storm tries to jump over Rection in the corner but Rection catches him and slams him down for two. Team Canada comes but MIA attacks them, and they brawl as I can’t see what’s going on in the ring….. and we’re back in the ring after a minute, and Rection goes up for a moonsault when Major Gunns moves Storm out of the way and gives him brass knucks! Fuck yeah! If I was Gunns I’d go for Storm over Rection. He’s better looking, buffer, more intelligent, and classier. Storm gets the Maple Leaf for the win.

3.0/5.0 I want to give this five stars because the ending is so rad, Storm walks away with the title, and the girl. Fuck yeah! The match itself though was really rushed due to the interference, and because they needed to make way for the main event. What was there was solid though, and I’m so glad Storm gets to win the war.

Main Event: Kronik vs Steiner and Sting

Steiner talks shit to Stevie Ray while at the commentator’s table, and Midajah goes on commentary. She tells Ray to watch what he does because Steiner’s watching. I actually kind of like Midajah’s voice, its very pleasant.

Adams starts off by kicking Sting’s ass, piledriver followed by a sick stomach breaker. Sting comes back with a bulldog and a sick DDT. Sting whips Adams, and does that shoulderblock, headbutt into the balls thing. Steiner and Clarke in. Steiner yells at the fans for booing him. Steiner brings Clarke into the corner, and hits some stiff looking chops. Clarke comes back with some of his own chops that sound pretty good, but Steiner hits Clarke with a clothesline for two. Steiner almost beats the shit out of Lil’ Naitch for not giving him the three count. Jeez, Steiner is pretty physically imposing. Steiner’s distracted with the Referee and eats a shoulderblock. Pretty funny on commentary as Midajah says that Steiner’s been taking anger management classes. Steiner tags Sting in. Adams takes Steiner to the outside were on the inside Sting has the Scorpion Deathlock as Adams breaks it up. Steiner sends Adams to the outside, and hits a Northern Lights Suplex into a Steiner Recliner but Adams comes back in, and they double team Steiner with the double chokeslam.

Midajah gets on the apron and slaps Adams. Sting dropkicks Adams to the outside but runs into a pump handle slam from Clarke…. that Sting reverses into the Scorpion Deathdrop for the win!

3.5/5.0 Damn son, a very fun, solid, and cohesive match. Everything worked well, and Kronik lost while still looking like really tough motherfuckers, as Sting barely won the match on a lucky reversal, and they probably wouldn’t have lost if Midajah didn’t get involved. Pretty good, but again I wish it could’ve gone longer and set up more of a story. Seemed pretty rushed as they only got about eight minutes, so they rushed through the heat segment big time.

Booker T comes out to the ring after the match with a chair, and takes out both Steiner, and Sting with it to end the show.

Final Thoughts: This show had me at near killing myself levels of boredom and brain deadness in the middle, Nash is slow as fuck and just brings everyone down to his level, Miller’s not popular enough for anyone to care when he’s wrestling, and Goldberg, the hottest guy in WCW, was put in a jobber match. Besides the about twenty minutes of suck in the middle of the show, the rest of it kicked ass. You had a great hardcore match to start off the show and some very interesting booking with the mixed tag teams, that actually made things unpredictable, and exciting for once. Storm got to win the title back and get Rection’s bitch, I mean overall it was a pretty fun, exciting show. I just wish they’d stop giving the book to fucking Nash, having him go over four guys in one match is not productive toward anyone. The only real complaint I have about this show is the matches were too short, I really wish that they would’ve had less matches so we could’ve had some better stories. We had some really good potential here that almost seems wasted, as everything was run through so fucking fast. But this show definitely has me excised for the PPV, and the next Nitro. I legitimately want to see what’s going to happen, and how the World Title things going to unfold. So all in all a fun show. If you wanna check it out…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KL2GNXpblA Just skip the shit in the middle with Nash-Miller-Goldberg because it’ll just bore you to death

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