I don’t know if I’ve told you guys yet, but I’m on twitter now, hobknobbing with the people. @CaliberWinfield
Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Stevie Ray
Little Rock, Arkansas
They started filming Thunder’s after the Nitro’s at this point, and they’ve screwed up by accidentally having the blueropes on the ring.
The Perfect Event w/ Coach Nash vs The Harris Brothers
Stasiak starts off, but gets his ass kicked to the point where a tag is all he can do. Columbo holds them off for a bit, but after numerous ignored tags to Stasiak, he gets H-Bombed. Apparently The Perfect Event have been having some problems, and Stasiak has been acting like he’s better than the team as a whole. Afterwards, Nash gets in the ring, and ends up almost coming to blows with Stasiak.
Columbo eats an H-Bomb and a pin at 2:46 | *
Mike Sanders is interviewed about his kickboxing match with The Cat at Halloween Havoc. Basically, he feels he’s better, and will defeat him.
Mean Gene is in the ring, ready to interview Booker T. It still blows my mind that they tried to get “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game” over as a catchphrase, when “Can you dig it, sucka?” was right there. It’s a pointless segment, because he says absolutely nothing new or different. The second you heard Booker T was going to give an interview, you probably heard it in your head. Scott Steiner comes out, and says “I don’t understand a word you’re saying”. I mean…that’s outstanding. They come to blows, but then Jeff runs out to lay on the double team. Soon Sting shows up to help Booker, then what appears to be the entire lockeroom comes out and starts brawling in the ring.
Steiner gives an interview backstage, refers to Mike Awesome as “Aweson”, and then does an impersonation of him as if he were a lamb. So, typical Steiner interview.
Mike Sanders is out to have a kickboxing match with 3 separate opponents, which turn out to be the Yung Dragons. Each round last a minute. First up is
Round 1 – Jamie San.
Before the match begins, Sanders puts a liquid on his glove, which magically knocks out Jamie San with the quickness.
Round 2 – Yang
He gets in a few blows, but then Sanders just crams his glove in Yang’s face and calls it a match.
Round 3 – Kaz
Same deal as before.
The Dragon’s manager comes in and low-blows Sanders, however she ends up hurting her foot on his groin, and Tony says “He isn’t selling it”. Of course, he has a cup on. The Cat shows up while he’s distracted and takes his head off with a pretty impressive kick. The Cat is always a refreshing point in these shows, and Mike Sanders isn’t too bad either.
|<roni>| comes out for an interview, which means some where in Florida, Sebastian is getting goosebumps, and a fluttery feeling in his tummy. Just so you know, these guys are really tough, and they’re gonna beat Goldberg. Also, I heard for Halloween that Sebastian dressed as both members of Kronik in a sort of Two-Face kinda deal.
|<roni>| vs Three Count
Three Count came out, saying they hired Kronik to protect them while they sang songs all night. However, they decided that they weren’t paid enough, and decided to beat them up instead, which then turned into a match. It all ends briefly after Helms takes HighTimes.
Helms takes the pin at .58 | *
Nash is interviewed, and says that he’s going to put Stasiak through a test. He puts his head in the game, or he leaves without it. He says Scott Hall was let go, and he’s upset about this.
MIA come out, however posing as Team Canada. Cripes all Friday, DX impersonates The Nation and we end up paying for it for the rest of our lives. It’s really funny when the personalities of the group aren’t established enough, so we really have no frame of reference and have no clue what the joke is. Also, did you know calling someone a virgin is funny? Man, not having sex is for losers!
The Thrillers are out, and once again Nash is talking about Scott Hall. His punishment is facing Goldberg. I love that they thought Goldberg being heel would seriously change the landscape of wrestling, and then within a few months he’s literally doing the same exact thing he did in 1998. Literally, they’re doing everything the same, from knocking on his door, to his stupid security escort, to the fireworks, and even having him go after the same exact number as his original streak. That should definitely turn the company around.
Goldberg vs Stasiak
What exactly do you think happens?
Stasiak takes the Jack-Hammer & pin at .40 seconds | *
Alex Wright vs Kidman vs Mark Jindrak
Disco starts off with a promo in which he wants to know who let the dogs out. He and Alex are starting their investigation tonight. It’s dangerous for the dogs, because of all the trucks out there. Man, that was fucking embarrassing. Couldn’t he just make fun of someone for being a virgin, or something?
The match looked to have some promise, but then they broke the cardinal rule of Vince Russo’s WCW when they started to have a good match that looked to break the 3 minute mark, so the kaibosh had to be put on that. Alex is hit with the KidKrusher aka Killswitch.
KidKrusher & pin on Alex at 2;25 | *1/2
Crowbar vs Vampiro
Bummer, Vampiro is back. Well, hopefully it’ll lead to them finishing the Sting vs Vampiro feud, because that series was too close, with Sting winning 1,567 of the matches and Vampiro winning 1, 559 . They gotta have at least another 10,000 more. Vampiro starts off the match by nailing Crowbar with nunchucks, once he sets them aside, Crowbar takes charge. He keeps it on the outside, throwing him into stairs, flying head-butts with chairs, and splashes to the outside. Vamp turns things around, getting Crowbar back into the ring and working him over with a chair. He hits him with a Van Damminator, and goes for the first pin of the match, but Crowbar gets the ropes. They brawl outside of the ring, up towards the entrance where the DJ is, and start whipping each other into some go-go cages that the Nitro girls dance in. A couple of Druids come out with 2 tables stacked on one another, and soon Vampiro chokeslams him through’em, which causes enough damage that the ref calls the match.
Unbelievable. Much to my shock, they just had a hell of a match, and perhaps the best one I’ve seen for the 2000 era of Nitro. A solid brawl that went back & forth and delivered a lot more than I ever thought it would. It’s worth hunting down. Afterward, Vampiro gets on the mic and challenges Awesome to a match at Havoc. He’s mad because Awesome powerbombed him through a table two months piror. Then, the super-dark, super-scary Vampiro says “be there, or be square”.
Ref ends the match after Crowbar is chokeslammed through two tables at 9:49 | ***1/4
It’s also pretty clear that Vampiro has been hitting the juice, as he’s looking thick & dense.
Konnan vs Shane Douglas
Konnan gets on the mic and he talks about letting the dogs out too. Because if his pumpkin head & tired catch-phrases didn’t make him lame, then by all means quoting the biggest hit from The Rugrats Movie soundtrack will get the job done. He wants to face Douglas, and calls him out. He shows up with a cast on his arm. Konnan says that Torrie looks like she could use a facial. What the hell, that wasn’t even a pun, or a joke used in some sort of context. Douglas says he can’t wrestle hurt, Konnan turns his back on him, Douglas attacks. It then turns into a match for whatever reason. Konnan beats up Shane for the duration, until Torrie slips him a chain and he pummels him with it before hitting the Franchiser.
Shane gets the pin at 1:50 | DUD
Scott Steiner vs Mike Awesome
For some reason, Steiner comes down to the ring with a real life tiger. I have to admit, I was kind of hoping the tiger would piss him off and he’d slap him in the Recliner.
Awesome gets the drop on Steiner, and holds the momentum for a bit before Midaja trips him up during an irish whip, giving Scott the opening he needs. Awesome puts up a hell of a fight, kicking out of a pipe to the head, and a 2nd rope samoan drop. However, it’s the Recliner that puts him out finally.
Awesome gives up at 5:00 | **
With that, we’re out…
Showcase Showdown: Hey, we’ve got ourselves another show that isn’t too bad. There’s no Russo to speak of on this program, and shockingly, like the rest amidst his absence, it’s decent. Although the abundance of short-matches was a bit annoying, along with the constant need to have screwy endings. There was nothing insulting, story-lines moved along just fine, they made it very clear what’s going on at Halloween Havoc, and even gave us a great match. It’s a good thing I got a decent show before having to review Halloween Havoc 2000, otherwise I may have lost my fucking mind and started dressing like Kronik. Sebastian actually does that already.