Schiavone says there are 10 huge matches, yet I only know of two, because that’s all they talked about in the build up. 2 matches.
Kwee Wee vs Elix Skipper w/ Major Gunns – WCW Crusierweight Champion
Kwee Wee controls the majority of the match in the beginning, which includes a botched leap-frog that the crowd responds accordingly too. He soon makes up for it with some moves he’d later be showing off in TNA, one of which being a standing-switch-back-flip off the rope. These guys pretty decent opener. The psychology was a bit scattered, but the action was fitting as these two gelled pretty well. The NBT come out to watch the match, and Scott Hudson eventually saunters down to lay-out Kwee Wee with a shot to the knee. Soon after, Skipper hits Kwee with The Overdrive.
Kwee eats an Overdrive and pin at 11:02 | **3/4 A decent opener that didn’t set the place on fire, but set up the PPV a hell of a lot better than any other openers in WCW 2000
Before I get to the review I just wanna say the best part of the year 2000 is Reinventing the Steel (though 70s Rock Must Die is pretty rad).
I am watching this ppv on the shittiest quality ever, my computer doesn’t have enough space to download the WCW 2000 PPV Pack, so I have all the 2000 Nitro’s saved in pretty good quality but I have to watch the PPV shows in blurry video and super low volume. Fuck you Caliber, you’re revenge for having to review that horrible Nitro has already hit me.
1st Match: Kwiwi vs Elix Skipper
Now this is how you start off a show, I mean who wouldn’t be pumped for the rest of the show after seeing Kwiwi, who’s a gay guy that hangs out with hot chicks against ELIX FUCKING SKIPPER!?
Elix goes to a wristlock but Kwee Wee gets out with flippy stuff and hits a clothesline for two. Armdrag by Kwee Wee into an armbar which Elix tries to roll out of but Kwee Wee keeps on in a nice spot. Nice wrestling sequence by the two, the problem is both of these guys aren’t established characters so its kinda hard to care about the match but not bad at all. They botch a leapfrog but Kwee recovers like a pro and goes back to the armbar. Elix throws Kwee to the corner and hits a crossbody to the bag. Elix kicks away at Kwee. This match so far has been nonstop action but its so fast paced it hasn’t been telling a story, more just guys doing moves to each other.
Elix does a moonsault over Kwee and hits him with a nice German Suplex for two. Pin again for two. Major Gunns has a nice ass. Elix hits a backdrop suplex and hits a sick springboard legdrop for two. Elix goes to a chinlock… I thought Kwee was supposed to be the heel in this match because of Elix’s fast padced moveset but the chinlock/sleeper spot shows that Kwee is actually the face here as the crowd rallies behind him. Kwiwi tries to fight out but Elix brings him down with knees. Kwee dodges a clothesline and does a crossbody which sends both guys to the outside. Kwee tries going back inside but Elix trips him up on the apron and then Elix does a badass springboard moonsault to Kwee on the outside. Again, Elix is supposed to be the heel here but his moveset is so fast paced and crazy you want to cheer for what he’s doing, and like him. Both men back in and Elix gets two. Elix goes for a fameasser but Kwee hits him with a powerbomb. The Natural Born Thrillers comes out giving me a reason for a paragraph break.
Kwee hits some arm drags and the Steve Austin, Lou Thez Press with punches. Dropkick by Kwee for two. Backdrop for two. Kwee throws Elix to the outside and Elix hurts his knee on the outside… so now we’re drawing sympathy for Elix who’s the heel. The Ref’s on the outside counting and one of the Natural Born Thrillers runs in and hits Kwee with a kendo stick. Elix goes up top and hits a crossbody but Kwee rolls into a two count.Kwee goes for a clothesline but elix bridges under and chops Kwee’s leg. Elix hits the Overdrive for the win.
1.0/5.0 Weird ass match that couldn’t tell who was face and who was heel and didn’t really progress any story.
Three Count vs Misfits in Action [Chavo, Lash, and AWOL]
Chavo gets a “USA” chant going, that’ll show those US Citizens in MIA. The Wall hits a move reminiscent of Goldberg, in which he turns a Press-Slam into a spine buster. They’re using Wall sparingly here, which works. Let the lightweight guys go out there and work the bulk, and have Wall come in for the hot-tags. Speaking of the rest, they’re doing what they’ve been doing in WCW for years, giving us one of the best matches of the night while being criminally under-paid & respected. Eventually it comes down to Lash & Helms, and he puts him away with a Juvi-Driver type move, except he sets him up like Cena’s FU. The match was great the whole way through, but really peaked in the last 3-4 minutes. This one is worth your attention.
Lash wins it with a pin on Helms at 10:25 | ***3/4 A show stealer for sure, and worth seeking out.
2nd Match: Three Count vs The Misfits
Chavo with a headlock to Shannon Moore and a go behind but Shannon flips out. Chavo with a couple chops and catches Shannon with a reversal. Jericho Ripoff comes in but Shannon catches him with a moonsault and tags in outrageous. Courgaous runs into presssalm but Shane knees Cajun and gets tagged in but misses an elbow. A Wall runs in and hits Shane with a sick spinebuster. This match has the same problem as the last one though, you want to cheer for Three Direction because they’re small guys fighting big guys but Three Counts the heels because they sign and dance. Moore in with some fast paced stuff and a Fameasser for two as Chavo breaks it up. Moore tags in Evan and Evan in with a cool looking crossbody. Cajun tries to come back but Evan hits a powerslam and then hits a good-looking elbowdrop for two. Shane in with a Russian neckbreaker for two. Shane tags in Moore who hits a frogsplash off the top for two. The Referee pushes Moore who sells it like Shawn Fucking Michaels. Not important to the match but kinda funny. Moore with a two count off of… I don’t even know, Cajun just kinda fell down for no reason. Cajun in with a springboard legdrop and he tags in A Wall who beats up all of Three Count. Sick backbreaker to Evan. Moore hits him with a low blow. Moore hits Cajun with plancha to the outside. Chavo with a crossbody to the outside on to Moore. Evan jumps on to Chabo. Now its A Wall and Helms. A Wall goes for a chokeslam but the other two members low blow A Wall. Helms superkicks A Wall onto the table that’s on the outside of the ring ko’ing him.
Chavo in but he dodges a superkick and hits Moore with a powerbomb. Fucking A’, this match just won’t end. This is a spotfest that isn’t fun. After five more minutes of stupidness Cajun hits his finisher for the win.
DUD Fucking horrible, no pace, no story, just a match that wouldn’t end. It devolved into a spot fest at the end and not the fun kind were its nonstop action, the kind were its like WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING, WHY WON’T THIS END!?
Some kid tries to get Nash’s autograph backstage but the kid only has a dollar on him so Nash tells him to go buy a soda. What a badass.
Harris Brothers vs Kroni>| – First Blood Chain Match
Tony says this is a “dream match”. Is Tony aware of what a “dream” is? Or what even a “match” is? Ron & Clarke are chained together, as are Don & Adams. They brawl
all over the place, up into the crowd, near Super Destroyer, who looks like the Grand Dragon of the KKK. Naturally, the ref is knocked out, allowing Ron to bleed first, and then pummel the hell out of Kronik with a chain-wrapped bat, busting open Adams, before chaining himself back up. Not a bad match by any means, really. I’ve seen these two deliver a lot worse, such as their cage match on Nitro. Not worth seeking out, but nothing I’m pissed about having to witness.
The ref sees Clarke is busted open and calls it at 6:37 | ** Nothing spectacular, but helps to keep the PPV solid so far
3rd Match: Harris Brothers vs Kronik
Kronik has really grown on me lately as they know what they’re doing in the ring and have built themselves up as badasses. The Harris Brothers on the other hand haven’t built themselves up as anything and are just generic “bad ass” biker dudes. Looking at the Harris Brothers just makes me wish that Sons of Anarchy was in season (throw in Caliber note here saying, OMG OPIE! I WANNA HAVE HIS BABIES!) [NFC: Yeah, sure, Sebastian, I don’t mind, you can fuck off, it’s alright]. Adams grabs a mic and changes this match to Chain First Blood match. That’s kinda pussy honestly, people bleed a lot during matches. Ric Flair bled all the time, why not make the match a hardcore match? Then you can make the other guy bleed and then fuck them up more.
The match is just a giant brawl for the first part and probably the whole thing. Clarke and Harris fight into the crowd. Then Adams fights with the other Harris into the crowd. Something I just thought of, you know those matches were the wrestlers accidentally bust the other guy up (Ex. Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk, Over The Limit I think), if it’s a First Blood match what do the wrestlers do? Do they keep doing the match even though the guys busted open and technically the match is supposed to be ovr or do they keep on wrestling anyway?
I haven’t been recapping most of the match so far but there’s not that much to cap’, it’s just been six minutes of punching and camera switching. The Harris Brothers take control and bring Adam and Clarke to the inside. Everything the Harris Brothers do looks really pussy and unstiff. The Ref ends up taking a bump and is ko’d. Harris is busted open but the Ref is ko’d. Ron grabs a baseball bat full of barbed wire, which is pretty sick and takes out Kronik with it. Harris Brothers isolate Adams inside the ring and bust him open for the win.
1.0/5.0 I liked the clever ending but other than that the match was just a lame back and forth brawl that didn’t have any progression and was just punching without any storytelling.
Lance Storm [C] vs General Boner – Canadian Heavyweight Championship – w/ Jim Duggan as Special Enforcer
Oh, thank goodness Duggan is a special enforcer. He’ll make sure that Lance Storm loses, and that in NO WAY, NO POSSIBLE WAY any wrong doings go on. Good thing they
have Duggan, a REAL AMERICAN HERO, who would NEVER, EVER EVER turn on General Boner. They have a pretty decent match so far, as one would expect. It only last
about 5 minutes before Boner goes up for the Moonsault when…NO!…NO! I can’t believe it! NO! Duggan turns on him and reveals a Canadian shirt! I am completely shocked. I never would have thought such a thing could happen. That Russo, he’s a genius, he always does what you absolutely, positively, least expect. BRILLIANT!
Storm wins with the Maple Leaf as Boner is knocked out at 6:46 | * One has to see this, simply for the SHOCKING turn
General Rection talks. I’m not sure if he’s important enough to get his own paragraph break but he’s not cool enough to be in the same paragraph as Kronik. You know Caliber’s been making boner jokes about Rection but I think he’s been going down the wrong alley with those as they’re way too obvious. Instead he should make more jokes about involving me. And by jokes I mean compliments. Actually, he shouldn’t even write reviews on Nitro, he should just dedicate a site to me and every week he has to tell people how great I am.
4th Match: Lance Storm vs General (E)Rection
Storm comes to the ring with some bimbo (Major Gunns). You deserve better Storm damn it!Anyway, Lance says the place is a Cesspit full of AIDS and talks about how Canada is way better. Canadian National Anthem. Jim Duggan comes out with an American Flag, these idiot fans were chanting America in the first match that didn’t have anything to do with fucking America…. now there’s a Canadian dude fighting an American dude with Hacksaw Jim Duggan in the corner…. this crowd is going to fucking riot if Storm wins.
The crowds chanting USA super loudly. Storm uses chops but Rection is pumped up by the power of America and no sells, and sends Storm to the outside. This crowd is really fucking hot for this match cheering everything Rection does and booing Storm big time. Storm goes for roll up but is reversed into a Soman Drop. Rection misses a splash in the corner and Storm goes up top but gets caught. Rection hits a superplex off the top for two. As much as I love Storm this is the one time I think it would be a better booking decision for Rection to win because this crowd is really patriotic and is totally behind Rection here. I actually consider this kinda funny as this show takes place from Buffalo, New York which isn’t a crowd known for being super patriotic and is usually quite apathetic toward wrestling shows (some idiots going to say, wow this guys a dumbass, New Yorks a great crowd, I mean Buffalo, New York you dumbass). Lance sends Rection to the outside and Lance hits Rection with a crossbody. Lance plays heel and talks smack to the crowd. Lance runs into a boot from Rection and Rection throws Lance inside.
Lance catches Rection with a jawjack. Rection with a powerslam for two. Lance goes for a crossbody but is caught and Rection hits a Jackknife Powerbomb for two. Rection goes for a suplex but Lance rolls out and gets a Dragon Legwhip and goes for the Hal Crab but Rection fights out and hits a German. Rection sends Lance to the outside with a clothesline. Duggan throws Lance back inside and Rection hits a scoopslam. Rection goes to the top and Duggan’s on the apron AND OH MY GWAD DUGGAN HIT RECTION WITH THE TWO BY FOUR! BY GWAD NO ONE SAW THIS COMING! Lance pins Rection for the win.
4.0/5.0 Yeah, that’s an overrate but the crowd was really into it making everything the guys did a big thing and the match did exactly what it was supposed to. Great storytelling and even though it was obvious Duggan turning Canadian Heel was still a pretty big thing, at least with this crowd. Caliber’s probably going to disagree but the match just worked from bottom to top and was pretty fun. Mean Gene’s interviewing the Natural Born Thrillers and he’s being un-usually dickish to them for no reason. He keeps on telling them that they suck and to blow it up their asses.
Natural Born Thrillers vs Filthy Animals – Elimination Match
The Thrillers come out, and then we go outside to see the Animals standing next to a limo, as a man gets out with a towel over his head. I’m sure it’ll be an awesome surprise. And it’s Paul Orndorf. He’s looking like Mr. 2nderful compared to his earlier days. Although to be fair, he’s in pretty good shape for a guy his age. Jindrak & O’haire do the bulk of the work in the beginning, and they’re actually a pretty well done team, tearing it up with the likes of Juvi & the rest of the Animals. Disco accidentally hits Konnan with The Last Dance, giving O’Haire the three count. He’s quickly put out by Reno, the guy who looks like a built Hurai Krishna. Big Vito enters next, and he’s put out by Reno as well. Juvi & Mysterio go to work and finally give NBT their first elimination by removing Reno with a Juvi-Driver and Guilitone Leg-Drop to the hangdang. Soon, Juvi is outside the ring, and Jindrak & O’Haire grab him each at one arm, and throw him from the floor over the top rope. Pretty impressive. O’Haire hits a swanton, and that’s it. Orndorf is in, and you can see the effects of his neck problems, as his right arm has significant shrinkage. The Bull is taken out with a piledriver.Paul is soon pinned, and it’s unsure just what happened to him. The ref then calls the match, apparently due to what’s happened to Orndorf. Really? We can’t have the new prospects defeat the more established guys? It’d be a real crime
to have Mysterio & Tygress to lose? Would WCW fold if we thought Konnan’s team couldn’t cut the mustard? Clearly, the answer is yes. This match was going pretty well until that ridiculous finish. Jindrak & O’Haire were a pretty fantastic team, and clearly should have had some major focus. But then again, The Harris Brothers do have tattoos.
Match is called off due to Mr. 2nderful’s neck injury at 16:34 | **1/2 Not as bad as I expected, it helps the PPV but isn’t worth tracking down
5th Match: Natural Born Thrillers vs The Mamalukes and Juvie Juice and Rey w/ A Surprise Partner Elimination Rules
Yeah, this is gonna be messy. The surprise partner is Orndorff who trained The Natural Born Thrillers. Orndorff’s skin looks really wrinkly and horrible here.
Jindrak and Rey start off the match and Jindrak hits a suplex to Rey. Elbow to Rey. This match could end up working because they have the little guys as the faces and the big guys as the heels. Rey goes to the outside and Jindrak chases leading to Rey getting the advantage in the ring and he hits a guillotine legdrop. Rey starts getting momentum but Jindrak catches Rey with a sidewalk slam. Jindrak tags in Sean. Rey tags in Juice who hits a cross body and rolls out of a press slam… and jawjacks Sean on the ropes. Sick springboard dropkick by Juvi. Juice goes up top but gets caught and Sean brings Juice down with a brainbuster. Sean tags in Jindrak and they try to do a double team but Juvi ends up ranaing both guys. Vito in and he hits a legdrop. I have to admit this match has been really fucking fun so far. Disco in and he hits a clothesline for two. Disco gets caught in a tilt the world slam.
Sean back in and he works over Disco and goes for two but Rey breaks it up. Disco hits a neckbreaker and tags in Konnan. Konnan with a big boot and a superkick into a facebuster. Konnan gets caught with a clothesline by Sean. Sean whips Konnan into the heel corner. Disco runs in and accidentally hits Konnan with Stunner and Sean pins Konnan to eliminate him. Johnny gets tagged in and misses a legdrop from the top and Disco tries to tag out but the Mamalukes are pissed off at Disco and don’t let him get the tag leading to him getting eliminated. This guy with the shittiest hair ever gets tagged in and trades punches with Vito. Vito gets the upperhand so Chuck Pulmabo runs in but Vito hits him with an Angle Slam and pins him but is broken up at two by Johnny. Shit, are any of the Thrillers going to get eliminated. Vito with a hockey stick… where the fuck did that come from. Reno’s the guy with the shitty hair and he dodges a hit from the hockey stick and Johnny hits Vito with a kendo stick. Reno pins Vito to eliminate him. Hot damn, this match has been fun.
Juice in with Reno and Juice is a rain of fire. Punches in bunches and a dropkick. Juvi goes up with the ten punches and hits a weird ass to the face move from the top. Rey in and they do the Hardys double team thing in the corner. Juvi hits the Juvi Driver which looked pretty rad and now Rey’s back in with a dropkick to the balls to eliminate Reno. This match is kicking so much butt, its kicking ass. Sean in but he runs into boots from Juice and Juice hits a dropkick. Sean goes to the outside and Juvi goes for a planch onto Sean but Jindrak’s also out there and they both catch him, and drop him onto the guardrail! That was cool as fuck! I have never seen that spot, I have never seen someone catch someone on an outside plancha! Seriously, that was rad as fuck. They eliminate Juvi after that.
Orndorff in and he’s kicking everyone’s ass but Johnny comes in with a kendo stick. Orndorff grabs it and just whacks the shit out of Johnny with it and pins him. Jindrak and Sean double team Orndorff but Orndorff ends up dodging a move and takes both guys by himself. He hits Jindrak with a piledriver but is gassed. Sean pins Orndorff to eliminate him. Rey and Tygress are the only two people left. Rey throws Jindrak in and hits the Suck my Pac move in the corner, and Tygress does the same. That is really stupid to do in this situation and kind of brings the realism out of the air. Rey and Tygress are the only people left. Rey’s a small guy and Tygress is a chick, they should be do anything they can to win, not wasting time making a dude suck your shit. Rey and Tygress take out Filthy Animals pretty easily and…. the Referee stops the fucking match because Orndorff hurt his neck or something. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! This match, was kicking so much ass… it was getting hot, had a great suspense angle going, the rising action and the structure of the match was absolutely perfect…. AND IT ENDS BECAUSE OF RUSSO WANTS TO DO A FAKE INJURY ANGLE!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? Fuck you Russo, fuck you big time. Fuck New York while I’m at it, that place breeds fuckers like that over there. Fuck Russo and his stupid sandals, and his retarded logic, and the fact that he thinks wrestling is supposed to work like a Spanish Soap.
4.0/5.0 I would’ve went higher up on this match, I honestly would’ve if it continued. It was perfect, it had the small guys vs the big guys, a real fear that they were going to lose mixed with a chance of winning and just had you on the edge of your seat. Everything about it was fucking perfect… except for the ending. What a bunch of bullshit. Fuck you Russo. And you know Paul’s not really injured because as soon as the match ended the commentators KNEW that he had suffered a neck injury. ARGH! Whatever, this PPV has still had two good matches in a row, even if Russo fucked the end as long as there’s still good wrestling I’ll be happy. We just need some good wrestling….
Kidman & Madusa vs Franchise & Torrie Wilson – Pittsburg Plunge Scaffold Match
I hope this lives up the expectations I’ve set for it. These guys are insanely brave, because the last thing I’m going to do is wrestle up high on a contraction that WCW is kept in charage to maintain. The scaffold is much wider than your typical scaffold thus they can do some actual wrestling. All in all, it’s probably the most entertaining scaffold match I’ve ever seen. It’s also another instance of WCW being completely tasteless and needlessly endangering their wrestlers by having Madusa & Billy Kidman thrown off the scaffold. Of course they land on crash pads & such, but it’s still in completely bad-taste, and pointless. There is nohting to be gained.
Douglas & Wilson win after Madusa & Kidman are thrown from the scaffold at 5:01 | *1/2 Nothing worth seeking out, but it continues this PPVs streak of decent matches
6th Match: Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson vs Billy Kidman and Medusa Scaffold Match
Shane goes for the cheap heat by saying that Kidman’s going to the hospital with his friend Orndorff. This is quite unique as the scaffold rises up and is quite bigger than most Scaffolds so they might actually be able to have a match as they have a little more space. The scaffold keeps on rising…. and rising…. and rising. After three minutes of rising Kidman and Medusa go after the heels. Kidman with punches in bunches and he rolls out of a backdrop suplex. Kidman gets poked in the eye and Shane with a punch. Shane goes after Medusa. Medusa kicks Shane down. Medusa tries kicking Shane off the Scaffold. Shane grabs Medusa’s leg and puts Medusa in an STF as Torrie talks smack. Pretty cool visual. Kidman gets distracted by Torrie and Shane hits him scoopslam. Kidman reverses a piledriver into a backdrop… and taking a bump on the scaffold looks pretty scary. Kidman hits a spinebuster but runs into an inverted atomic drop. Medusa starts climbing the ladder but feels bad for Kidman so she distracts Shane. Shane chases her on the ladder and kicks away at Medusa. Okay reading that sounds kind of confusing… on the Scaffold, on each side there’s two long ladders that are attached to the Scaffold for the person to climb down. Anyway, Shane kicks Medusa and sends her off the ladder onto this really comfy looking black cover. So Medusa’s out of this match. Kidman starts getting momentum but Torrie lowblows Kidman and then SHANE THROWS KIDMAN OFF THE FUCKING SCAFFOLD! That was a pretty big fall and looked pretty rad. Kidman falls and breaks through the black ground at the bottom!
2.5/5.0 Surprisingly not bad, this scaffold had more room so it allowed Kidman and Douglas to do their thing and you got to see a pretty cool bump. Probably the best scaffold match I’ve ever seen. Shane is also put over as a total dickbag heel who you really wanna see get it, well I don’t because I like dickbag heels who beat up women but most people probably want to see him get his ass kicked. Oh, and Torrie takes ten hours to climb the fucking ladder. I had to climb down the bleachers once but got bored and jumped. It ended up being like twenty feet and I fucked up my legs. Had to walk around crutches for a while. It was pretty badassed. Like if I ever meet Stallone I can be like, “So did you jump twenty-five feet and fuck up your legs? Bitch!” And then I’ll beat him in an arm wrestling match, and he’ll respect me so much he’ll put me in the new Expendables movie. And in the movie I team up with Jean Claude Van Damme and we both beat up the robot from Aliens.
Sting gives an interview, and then gets jumped by Jeff Jarrett. Let’s hope that the Sting vs The Dark Carnival match has been canceled.
We get footage of Mike Tenay going to David Flair’s house to speak to him. This is what people spend big PPV bucks for. David demands to know if Tenay is alone, and sure enough, Mike says it’s no one but him. David checks, and sees it’s no lie. That camera man has quite the incredible ability to hide, as he’s standing right next to Mike, yet neither him nor David see him. They have a chat, and then David gives us perhaps the greatest moment in WCW 2000 when he puts a mail-man in the Figure 4, then just runs down the street.
Sting has a backstage interview that’s interrupted when Double J beats the hell out of him for insisting he gets the title shot on Monday.
Sting vs The Dark Carnival
This match is pretty much nothing more than Muta & Vampiro beating the hell out of Sting, up until the eventual “I want the pin, no I want the pin OK let’s fight!” ordeal. Thankfully, the ICP are on commentary for most of the match, and are vastly worthwhile in that position. Sting eventually gives Muta the Deathdrop and grabs the pin. Yes, even after a pre-match beatdown from Double J, Sting can beat two-men at once. Afterwards, the DC attempt to beat up on Muta, but Stinger makes the save.
Sting hits Muta with the Deathdrop for the pin at 5:12 | *1/2 It didn’t dip into the negatives, and that’s a win for Sting & Vampiro.
Jeff Jarrett beats up Sting during an interview. Mike Tenay goes to David Flair’s house. Boo, David Flair sucks, who cares about his house? Mike goes inside and David’s house looks like my room. There’s beer and cold pizza on a table with newspapers all over the place. Tenay is a total dick and is all, “So how does it feel to have your entire life crumple up around you and find out that your wife is cheating on you?” I mean seriously, this isn’t a Garth Ennis comic. He’s not going to open up to you, he feels horrible quit being a total dick. Tenay asks David if he asked Stacy who the baby is. Tenay’s being a real dick here asking all these super personal questions. David’s pretty funny here actually saying his eleven year old brother is the father. “You don’t know the way he looks at her, I see it!” Fuck yeah, if my girlfriend was cheating on me I’d fuck up my ten-year old sister because she probably banged her. Then the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen happens, a mail man goes to give David his mail and David attacks him and puts him in a Figure Four yelling, “Did you do it? Did you fuck my girlfriend.” This is the funniest shit, I want more of this. I think I’m going to have to re watch this to understand the genius involved.
You know, I know this is going to sound weird but that segment was actually a bit of good character development. You have David Flair, who’s totally distraught over his Wife cheating on him and he’s going fucking insane because of it. But not the kinda of insane he was before were he laughed randomly and then got his ass kicked, this is the kinda, “I don’t wanna fuck with this guy,” insane. If done properly they could end up making David a bit of a badass by making him go even more off the deep end and thinking that every wrestler fucked Stacy and therefore making him just beat the absolute shit of them. It actually could be a pretty rad idea and give David some legitimacy that he doesn’t have. I doubt the writers are smart enough to go with it though.
7th Match: Vampiro vs Muta vs Sting
I’ve been keeping track and this exactly the 1, 287, 946, 404, 999th match involving Sting and Vampiro. Stings new entrance music is pretty rad. Vampiro attacks Sting out on the ramp and Muta and Vampiro team up on him. Punchy kicky stuff to Sting. They punch Sting near the Commentators table. The ICP are on commentary and they’re pretty funny as they have no idea what the moves are called and are just making up shit, like with Jericho’s Holds. The thing is Sting’s the face in this match but he’s been getting his ass kicked the whole match. The crowd hasn’t been able to get into the match because Sting never had the kicking ass, rising action thing and his momentum being stopped. Instead the heels just instantly work him over. Sting finally starts coming back but only gets two moves when Muta brings Sting down with a clothesline. The ICP throw Vampiro a kendo stick. Heels throw Sting inside. Damn, this match is boring as fuck so far and a total bummer compared to the five star angle of David Flair attacking mail men.
Sting comes back with punches in bunches and hits a clothesline, but gets caught with a kick by Muta and Vampiro comes off the top. Vampiro hits some kicks… backdrop suplex. Well this match is so boring it could be called the backdrop BOREBLEX! Yeah, you try to beat that witness. Vampiro goes for a pin but Muta breaks it up and they start brawling. The ICP run in and Sting takes out the ICP and Vampiro with a baseball bat, and hits Muta with the Scorpion Deathdrop.
DUD Wow, that match was so bad and boring I don’t feel motivated enough to go into why it was so bad and boring. Basically you had no reason to be into Sting and his comebacks were too short to be important. Then instead of any build up to his comeback he just randomly hits his finisher. A match without any of the middle stuff that makes it important.
Mike Awesome is hanging out with Gary Coleman and is pretending he’s in the 70s even though Coleman’s from the 80s. I could go into a rant about why the 70s sucks and why the 80s are way better and the best decade ever but that last match left me so uninspired so I’ll leave it for Caliber so he can do a column about it on his site one day.
We catch up with Mike Awesome. He’s with Gary Coleman. Now they’re both hanging out on the big Partridge Family Bus in the sky.
Jeff Jarrett vs Mike Awesome – Bunkhouse Brawl
Awesome opens up with shovels & bullwhips before Jarrett responds with a leather strap and a broom. Mike Awesome is a clear example of how stupid Russo is, and how inept he is at creating a character or telling a joke. His whole 70’s schtikt could have actually been good, if Awesome remained a bad-ass, and they just never acknowledged or asked why he was driving that bus, or wearing his hair like that. Mike attempts an off-the-top rope Awesome Bomb, but gets put through a table for his troubles. He soon returns the favor, launching Jarrett into a table wrapped in rubber barbwire. A sit-down Awesome bomb almost wins it, but Jarrett kicks out, and then moves out of the way of the splash. The Buffalo Bills, who have been sitting front row, and of course receiving taunts from Jarrett, surround the ring. Of course, it ends up being Gary Coleman who makes the difference, as he slugs Jarrett in the hangdang about 3 times. Double J soon pays him back with a guitar shot. He then grabs Mike Awesome and is about to deliver The Stroke when Sting runs down and hits him with the Death Drop, allowing Mike Awesome to score the victory. So, let’s just get this straight; in order for Mike Awesome to beat Double J, it took a TV star, a professional football team, and a former World Champion wrestler’s help. Then Russo will blame one of the WCW secretary’s for the reason Mike Awesome didn’t get over. This match was a pretty big batch of nothing, really. It would have been a lot more if not for all the stupid interference, as Awesome & Jarrett are more than capable of going out and delivering.
Mike Awesome pins Jarrett after the United States Armed Forces plus the ghost of Andre The Giant and a satellite from space that shoots lazer beams all team up on Jarrett at 9:04 | *1/2 Not a blackeye
on the show, really, and honestly, something worth tracking down for the sheer absurdity
8th Match: Jeff Jarrett vs
Actually who the fuck is Jeff Jarrett wrestling? I don’t even remember a build up to his match this ppv. Jeff is wearing the football jersey that beat Buffalo last year or some shit. Who cares about sports? Sports are boring as fuck, why the fuck should you care about your home towns team? They aren’t central characters with interesting personalities or anything that you can connect with. You’re literally cheering a team because people next to you tell you that you should cheer for them. Fuck that. The only thing more boring than real sports is…. well I can’ think of anything actually.
8th Match: Jeff Jarrett vs That 70s Guy AKA Mike Awesome
Mike uses the power of the 70s and brings Jeff to the Mean Streets. Jeff goes Big Boss on Mike’s ass though and hits him with a strap. Jeff fucks up Awesome so much that I thought he was going to go to the Stairway to Heaven. Phew, God Save The Queen, this match is pretty brutal. Jeff Jarrett and Awesome trade chair shots like rabid dogs, or like CUJO! These guys are going through such a War… and Jeff Jarrett is such a PIG! One of the football players yells at Jarrett from the crowd. Awesome peepers Jeff with some punches, they’re so stiff they could’ve came from ROCKY! Mike fucks up Jeff so much Jeff so much Jeff thinks that Awesome’s an ALIEN, does that mean he had Close Encounters of The Third Kind!? Jeff hits Awesome with a powerbomb through the table. Jeff needs another table, he might need to ask a favor… FROM THE GODFATHER! Jeff punches Awesome in his JAWS! You know, Awesome has his shirt off and Jeff doesn’t. There’s so many people with shirts off in wrestling sometimes it feels like BAYWATCH!
Alright, I’m done with the 70s thing for now. The Football players run in for some fucking reason and Awesome hits Jeff with a powerbomb. Jeff’s still STAYING ALIVE though as he rolls out of a Razors Edge and hits a low blow. Jeff goes for his guitar and Gary Fucking Coleman runs in for no reason and low blows Jeff Jarrett. This is the best PPV ever. Jeff grabs Gary Coleman and kos him with his guitar. Jeff Jarrett…. hit Gary Coleman… with a guitar. And then just to overbook the match even more Sting runs out and hits Jeff with a Scorpion Deathdrop allowing Mike Awesome to Grease himself on top of Jarrett for the win.
5.0/5.0 This match gave me A New Hope. No honestly, I wasn’t really paying attention to the story of the match through the middle and the end was horribly overbooked so I’m just going to go with my gut on this one and give it a DUD.
Scott Steiner vs Goldberg
Tony calls Goldberg “The Human Cyborg”. At restaurants does he asked for decaffeinated coffee with caffeine in it? So far this has been a great power match, as both guys have been on and due to some amazing luck, had a great chemistry here. A variety of power-slams, suplexes, along with solid weapons like pipes & chairs deliver one of Goldberg’s best, and easily Steiner’s best since becoming Big Poppa Pump. Thankfully Russo shows u p, in a tank-top no less, so we can see Russo’s massive 10 inch garden snakes. Who’s his personal trainer? A 6th grader? Steiner gives Goldberg a top-rope Belly to Belly suplex, and of course fucks it up, causing Goldberg to land on his hand. He goes for the pin afterward, and Godlberg is so out of it that the ref has to pop Goldberg’s shoulder up for him. They brawl for a little while longer until Steiner clubs Goldberg in the head with a lead-pipe and throws him in the Recliner. This is an awesome match, and I believe the best one in the year of 2000. These guys had ridiculous chemistry, and delivered an awesome match that was a hybrid of brawling & power wrestling.
Goldberg is out when Steiner throws him in the Recliner for the win at 13:50 | ***3/4 Do yourself a favor and track this one down. Hell of a match.
9th Match: Scott Steiner vs Goldberg
Caliber has been sucking this matches dick nonstop and I think Keith, and most of the IWC like it so I’m going to try to be as negative as possible. Two reasons, the IWC sucks and I’m better than everyone there, and two big guy vs big guy matches are the only matches that usually suck but get good ratings. Look at Cena/Batistia from Summerslam 2008, that match blows and is super boring but most people give it fellatio because they’re not as smart as me. There is a slight optimism though, because you have to think most critics watching this in 2000 would go into this with a negative mindset and considering that they actually were pleased might mean the match is actually something. Still though, its fucking Goldberg vs Scott Steiner. The truth is, the reason why most people give these high ratings to something like Batistia vs Cena is because the storytelling by itself works for some people but the thing is they don’t compare or contrast it to an actual good wrestling match. Cena/Baststia should not be given the same rating as Michaels/Jericho.
Steiner puts on some stupid fucking face mask. Lock up and Steiner brings Goldberg into the corner. Elbows and Steiner whips but Goldberg dodges and does a shoulderblock, ala Cena. Gorilla press slam onto Steiner. Madden, “Goldberg is throwing Steiner around like he’s Gary Coleman.” Steiner runs to the outside and Goldberg follows. Steiner reverses a whip and sends Goldberg into the rail. Steiner throws Goldberg in and hits a clothesline. Elbow for two. Steiner brings Goldberg into the corner and hits a couple punches in bunches but runs into a boot. Goldberg’s legs are pretty tiny compared to his thighs. Goldberg with a Butterfly Suplex. Steiner comes back with an Ace Cutter. Steiner hits a belly to belly for two. Steiner goes for a Tombstone but Goldberg reverses into a slam for two. Goldberg goes for a spear but Steiner moves in the corner and goes up top. Steiner goes for a crossbody but Goldberg catches him and slams him down for two. Steiner rolls to the outside. I have to say, the match hasn’t been bad at all thus far. Good counter wrestling and showcasing that Goldberg’s a super strong badass. What’s weird is that Steiner is somewhat carrying the bulk of the match. Where the fuck did he learn how to do that and why didn’t he ever do it again? Were both guys trying to win some kinda best match of the night contest thing? Did WCW bring back that thing were who ever has the best match gets the best paycheck?
Steiner whips Goldberg into the steps and Steiner’s hoe, Madesa comes to the ring with a pipe. Steiner hits Goldberg with a chair to the head on the outside. Steiner puts Goldberg in the Tree of Woe and ooh, he has a chair with him. Goldbergs fucked. Lameness happens as Steiner only hits Goldberg a couple times though and Goldberg rolls out of the ropes. Steiner with a T Bone suplex and push ups. Steiner with a backbreaker. Goldberg elbows out but runs into a belly to belly. Steiner gets the pipe but Goldberg gets back and hits Steiner with a spear and goes for his finisher when Russo runs in and hits Goldberg with a baseball bat (oh, beat up the brat). Steiner goes for the pin but only gets two. Steiner throws Goldberg to the outside and Goldberg goes after Russo like a total dumbass giving Steiner time to hit Goldberg with an axehandle. This match is a lot slower paced than the other matches but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Its giving this match more time to breathe. Steiner with a scoop slam onto the table on the outside breaking it. Steiner puts Goldberg in the Recliner.
Goldberg reaches the ropes but no one gives a shit because its No DQ. Goldberg fights up and drops Steiner on the ropes. Steiner’s back up because he’s a fucking robot or something and brings Goldberg into the corner. Steiner brings Goldberg up to the top and Goldberg throws Steiner off but gets hit in the back of the head with a bat. Steiner with a belly to belly suplerplex for two. The only problem I really have with this match is the fact that Goldberg’s so built up that nothing you could possibly do could leave to actual suspense over whether or not he’s going to lose. Steiner tries to hit Goldberg with a chair but Goldberg hits a neckbreaker. Russo goes to hit Goldberg with a bat but Goldberg stops that but eats a shot with a pipe. And Steiner goes to the Recliner AGAIN! And Steiner wins.
3.5/5.0 Even though the match was pretty good the main problem is Goldberg. You can’t really build sympathy for him and the crowd wasn’t really into it because they figured that no matter what Goldberg would win. This match would’ve worked a lot better if they had smaller guy in the match. Also Goldberg’s comebacks were way too short, he’d get in like two moves and then be brought down which stopped the action from rising and suspense leading to you thinking he was going to win. I think Steiner vs Booker T from the last Nitro was this match done right, and that match is four stars. I think this match is overrated on the fact that people were shocked that Steiner/Goldberg did anything even resembling a cohesive, good story but it’s really not that great.
Kevin Nash [C] vs Booker T – WCW World Heavyweight Championship – Steel Cage
Nash controls the beginning of the match handily, and holds onto it until he attempts a Snake Eyes on an exposed turnbuckle, and Booker T runs him into it sternum first. Booker has the momentum for a moment until Kevin snags it back with a boot to the face. Ever being whipped & drug all over the cage, Booker comes back to return the favor and busts open Nash’s face by grating him on the steel cage. They trade turns holding momentum as well as pin-attempts until Nash goes for the Jackknife, only for Booker to reverse it into the Bookend for the pin. Wow, I’m literally shocked. A face won the title, on a PPV.
Booker T wins the title with the Bookend at 9:48 | **3/4 Decent main event that was better than it had the right to be.
Main Event: Kevin Nash (C) vs Booker T for the World Heavyweight Championship in a Steel Cage Match
Shit, I’m kinda worn out at this point and am not really that excited for the main event. I don’t really know of any build up between these two guys and I’m somewhat nervous over whether or not they’ll be a good pair.
Lock up to start which I think is odd because it’s a fucking steel cage match. Lock up two and Nash knees Booker and hits a scoop slam. Nash whips Booker and he goes under a clothesline and hits an elbow. Nash back up with a choke to Booker and he knees him the corner. Clothesline to Booker in the corner. I’m drinking Gatorade, I think my favorite flavor is Fruit Punch. Booker comes back but runs into a boot and they do that clothesline spinning spot and Nash gets two. Nash goes to a back hold thing and man, this match is boring as fuck. Everything Nash does is so slow and dull. Booker tries to fight out but Nash knees him and hits him with a sidewalk slam. This match is so fucking dull. Nash is taking like a minute in between moves. Nash undoes the turnbuckle and goes for snake eyes but Booker rolls out and rams Nash into the exposed turnbuckle. Booker with a scoop slam. What would’ve been a cool spot is if Booker hit Nash with the Snake Eyes. Booker with a Scissors Kick… eh, this match seems to be going on auto pilot. Booker runs into a big boot and a chokeslam. Yeah, they’re just going through the motions in this match, really uninspired stuff. Why the fuck was Nash wrestling for the World Title at this point?
Booker T rams Nash into the cage and goes up for the ten punch. Booker has busted open Nash but Nash crotches Booker on the ropes. The story of this match sucks so they’re just running through a mental checklist of things to try and make the match better. Booker hits a pretty rad dropkick from the top. Booker goes for a kick but Nash catches his kick and hits Booker with a clothesline for two. That was a pretty cool spot actually. Nash with a low blow and he goes for the Jacknife but Booker gets out and hits the Book End for the win.
DUD Totally uninspired match that had no story and was just a run down of things on a list. Blood, check, ten punch, check, turnbuckle, check, ram someone into the cage, check, finisher spots, check. It felt like someone doing the objectives list on the Wrestlemania game.
Showcase Showdown: Far and away the best PPV of the year. Matter of fact, this PPV could trump some of the weaker outtings the WWE had that year, such as WrestleMania, and King of the Ring. Sure, there were some bad-elements, but not bad in the sense you feel like calling your local SVU over it, but just boring. Some of the bad was the so-bad-it’s-good kind, and that’s always welcomed. We got two matches that broke ***1/2, as well as our MOTY, plus a decent main event that wasn’t over-booked bullshit. Fall Brawl 2000 is a fun PPV that I actually recko. Holy shit.
Final Thoughts: What a whirlwind of a ppv, this show had me wishing I was dead at certain points and at others it had me totally enthralled and super into it. In the end some of the stuff is worth checking out, Storm vs Rection was a really fun match. The Six Man Tag was damn near perfect but the ending showed everything that is wrong with Russo. Steiner/Goldberg was a little better than decent and you had an actual good scaffold match. But the negatives, oh dear you had some BIG negatives on this show. The second match was one of the worst tag matches I’ve ever seen that was like some form of torture and the booking was assed backwards. The Sting triple threat was booked by a fucking moron, and a lot of the show left you feeling kinda lazy and uninspired. The main event was just a run down of things you do to have a good match but didn’t end up being a good match. So I guess you have to take the good with the bad, I’ll give this show a thumbs up plus kick to the face of Vince Russo. Well, except for the David Flair thing. That segment was comedy gold.