Its harder for me to find the shows than Caliber because I was banned from the Pro Wrestling Torrents site, so I’m just going to be reviewing the matches, or at least the one’s I can find online. I may skip some matches because they’re not on Dailymotion or Youtube, and I might, really doubt it, but might end up reviewing a match of the same name from a different Pay-Per-View. This is as unprofessional and sloppy as reviews can get, so let’s get started alright? By the way, I just want you fuckers to know that I’m dropping going to a party and hanging out with my friends so I can write this up for you ungrateful cretins, you’re welcome.
1st Match: Three Count w/ Tank Abbot vs Jung Dragons Double Ladder Match
This is going to be a total pain in the ass to review because the Jung Dragons aren’t established characters so its hard to differentiate between the Jung Dragons. As Three Count and Tank Abbot come out the commentators talk about the “shoot comments” that the guys in the three way are involved in. I imagine Nash just said, “Goldberg can’t work and he has to be carried in all his matches… what this is supposed to be a shoot right?”
*The match starts off like a normal six man tag match but then Three Count try going for the ladders about a minute or two in. Yun goes for the ladder and tries to set it up in the ring but Shannon breaks it up. Shannon sets the ladder up in the corner and tries to powerbomb Yun but he reverses with a backflip onto the ladder. Yun sets the ladder up on the second rope and tires for a suplex but Shane crotches him on the ladder. Shane and Evan hoist the other two Yung Dragons on the ladder and Shannon does a cool cross body onto the all the Dragons. Three Count sets up the ladder and Shane goes up. They do this cool spot were Evan puts one of the Dragons on his shoulder and one of the Three Count clotheslines him. Kaz crossbodies onto Shane and Shannon. Evan jumps up and fights with Yun on the ladder but Kaz breaks it up. Shannon hits Jamie with a neckbreaker and there’s just too much stuff going on to call it all. Evan hits Kaz with a suplex off the ladder. Tank jaws with the fans on the outside, I imagine that he was trying to tell a Led Zepplin fan why Three Count dancing for ten minutes straight is less boring than Stairway to Heaven. A lot of spotty stuff as we get Evan suplexing Kaz onto the ladder.
Jamie-San does a rana off the top rope onto Shannon Moore and then Yun, and Kaz jump off the ladder onto Shannon effectively killing him. Jamie-San grabs the record but then Tank Abbot takes it. I figured the match would be over but I guess they have to grab the recording contract. Madden talks about the stupidness of Yung Dragons grabbing a recording contract considering that they can’t sing and Tony replies, “It makes perfect sense, they just don’t want Three Count to get it.” If only things actually worked like that, you could wrestle Justin Bieber or Kesha for a Recording Label Contract. Evan throws Kaz off but Jamie-San does a powerbomb off the ladder on Shannon Moore. Shane and Yun fight over the contract but Tank comes, and throws both guys off the ladder. Evan runs up another ladder and grabs the recording contract.
*I may screw up some of the names here because the Yung Dragons look sortive silimar and the video I’m using is fuzzy. Also the Jung Dragons aren’t established characters.
3.5/5.0 Just a ridiculous spot fest but fun, not as fun as the Money in The Bank matches or even the TLC matches but still a pretty fun spot fest that never let down the pace. The only problem is that it didn’t have any kind of story, like the TLC matches, it was just spot, spot, spot, Tank Abbot dancing, spot, but still pretty fun and a decent way to open up the show.
2nd Match: Great Muta vs Ernest Miller
I’m not sure how I feel about this match up, it could really, really suck, or be pretty good. This match seems to be over Ernest being the General Manager and I guess he did something to piss off Muta. When I heard Ernest’s song I had to put on “I Feel Good,” that song is seriously catchy, hell, I usually listen to this thing when I’m depressed, not because it puts me in a good mood but because its really God damn catchy.
Ernest asks for a mic, and Ernest says, “You’re the Great Muta and I’m going to kick your ass.” Then he hits him. That was better than ninety percent of the speeches in my Speech Class. Muta hits a kick to the head and then hits an elbowdrop. Muta goes into an ARM-bar, into a wristlock. Muta does a cool twist around and puts on Del Rio’s armbreaker. That’s some cool shit that I never see. Muta boots Ernest in the corner. This is probably going to be seven minutes of Muta beating Ernest up and then some interference at the end by Vampiro. Ernest tries to come back with some kicks but Muta ends that with a punch to the jaw. Leg whip by Muta. Ernest tries more kicks so Muta responds with this cool spin kick. Tygress comes down to the ring. Muta doesn’t seem to care but Ernest comes back with a punch and a superkick sending Muta to the outside. Ernest chokes Muta on the outside with a cord and rams him into the rail. Another superkick and Ernest throws Muta back in and gets a two. Now I know that Muta could beat Shawn Michaels. Muta tries to come back with some punches but Ernest is keeping him down with karate kicks. Muta catches him on the next one with a leg whip into a… I don’t know what it is, leg bar? Its like he has Ernest’s foot in a sleeper.
Muta puts Ernest down with a scoop slam but misses a moonsault. Muta dodges a kick from Miller and sprays him with the Green Mist. Ernest runs over to the other corner and the Referee is checking to see if he’s okay so Tygress comes off the top rope with a chairshot onto Muta. Ernest pins him but only gets two. Ernest hits a bunch of kicks. The thing with Ernest’s offense is, it seems to comprise of almost all kicks and its something a face would do, even though he’s supposed to be the heel in this feud. Its fucking weird. After two hundred more kicks and a kick to the head Ernest wins.
2.5/5.0 Decent match but the transitions were weird, it kind of seemed like Muta was letting Ernest get offense in, and the transition to submission wrestling to kicking each other five thousand times was weird. Ernest’s offense was also more babyfaceish than anything, imagine RVD as a heel. It doesn’t work because people want to pop for his offense, same thing here. Also the crowd was behind Ernest even though he was the heel showing that they didn’t really do a good job of establishing characters here. Still, the match did a good job of making both guys look pretty good though the bullshit ending felt lame and unnecessary. If Vampiro had done it, at least it would’ve advanced a feud but here its just there to have Ernest go over, which doesn’t work because he’s not an effective heel.
3rd Match: Buff Bagwell vs Positively Kanyon “Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match”
Y’know Bagwell gets a lot of shit from the IWC for being a dick backstage and he’s called a horrible wrestler by a lot but I think that’s total malarky. Bagwell is one of the most entertaining, overly narcissistic wrestlers in wrestling, period. He’s a pretty good wrestler too, he’s not necessarily great but his matches are almost always decent, he can chain wrestle, he can brawl, and he can do promos. Even if he’s a dick backstage that just adds to his character because he’s supposed to be a narcissistic douchebag. Seriously, Buff Bagwell is buff and awesome.
Kanyon comes out first with a forklift and Judy’s on the lift. Kanyon says its supposed to be on a pole but Kanyon couldn’t find a pole to fit Judy on because Canada sucks. Bagwell runs down to the ring to defend Canada’s honor and Bagwell, and Kanyon, fight into the crowd… for like two seconds and then Bagwell whips Kanyon out. Both men inside the ring and Slick rings the bell. Buff is all over Kanyon with a backdrop suplex followed by a neckbreaker. He does the ten punch but Kanyon hits Bagwell in the balls and then does a Russian Leg Sweep from the second rope. Two count for Kanyon. This match is getting kind of annoying because they keep on cutting to Bagwell’s Mom yelling shit that you can’t hear. Kanyon grabs some… wire cutters and cuts off the turnbuckle pad. Kanyon chokes Bagwell and then tries to whip him into the exposed turnbuckle but Bagwell jumps onto Kanyon’s shoulders only to be dropped, Kanyon gets two. Kanyon rams Bagwell into the corner and then tries to ram him into the corner but Bagwell stops it, and hits some punches. Kanyon reverses with the shittiest sleeper I’ve ever seen. Kanyon doesn’t even have his arm around Bagwell’s neck, it looks horrible and goes on FOREVER! He turns it into a Cobra Clutch but it still looks really bad and unbelievable. Bagwell fights back but Kanyon stops the comeback with a neckbreaker for two. Judy Bagwell is old and likes to yell a lot.
Kanyon goes for the Diamond Cutter but Bagwell throws him into the exposed turnbuckle and then hot shots him into the exposed turnbuckle. Bagwell whips Kanyon and then Kanyon jumps over Bagwell and hits his Diamond Cutter for two. Then, and I think I need all caps for how stupid this is, DAVID FUCKING ARQUETTE COMES OUT! Buff makes a comeback but David hits Buff in the back with a construction helmet. Think about that sentence for a second, David Arquette came out and hit Bagwell with a fucking construction helmet! Russo is genius. David comes in the ring but Bagwell takes out both guys with a double clothesline, and then a double Buff Blockbuster for the win.
3.5/5.0 Decent match though that David Arquette shit was just random and unneeded, also the fact that anyone can hit the Diamond Cutter kind of makes Dallas look generic and weak.
Kanyon celebrates with David and then hits him with the Diamond Cutter.
4th Match: Misfits vs Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Hare vs The Perfect Event (Chuck Pulambo and Shawn Stasiak) vs Kronic (C) for the Tag Team Championships
The Filthy Animals are the Referees here, Disco Inferno, Rey Mysterio, and Juventud. Disco tells the wrestlers that if they touch them, they will be DQ’d, fined, and will wrestle Polar Bears in the South Pole. Konnan’s also on commentary and he’s really fucking annoying, he just keeps on repeating what everyone else is saying, saying yeah, saying everyone sucks, and just generally being an all around dick bag. Also he says that the Filthy Animals get a two-on-two tag match with whoever wins this match the following night on Nitro. So that shitty #3 contenders cage match I sat through meant absolutely nothing because even though the Filthy Animals lost they still get rewarded by getting a regular tag team match after the tag champions had just wrestled a grueling match the night before, and they don’t have to contend with three other tag teams either. They’re literally getting a tag team title match because they lost a #1 contenders match.
As for the match, we get Bryan Adams starting off with Chuck Palumbo. Chuck gets sent outside and the Filthy Animals work him over. Shawn runs in the ring but eats a full nelson slam. Cajun comes in and, this match is just such a pain in the ass to do play by play for because this match doesn’t seem to have any rules. People will just randomly run in and another guy will leave without tagging in and out. Jindrak jumps over Clarke but Clarke comes back with a pump handle slam for two as Disco does a slow count. Chops by Clarke and Rection comes in with a dropkick to Hare for two. Rection and Hare trade chops and then Sharmell runs in and does the eat my genitals move in the corner. Rey tires doing it but gets kicked in the nuts. Really, this match is so sloppy and bad I’m not going to be able to do good play by play for it what so ever, so you’re going to get little clips of what’s happening. Shawn hits a sick gutbuster on Cajun and Disco takes like ten hours to count, and Shawn gets two. Then O’Hare runs in and clotheslines everyone, and then everyone boots down Rection. Disco does a slow count and O’Hare gets two. O’Hare with a punch and then a sleeper onto Rection.
This match is just horrible in every way possible. There’s no pacing, its just people randomly coming into the ring, no set rules, and no story to follow either. This shit needs to end soon. O’Hare tags in Marky Mark and he hits a spinning shoulderblock to Rection. Rection reverses a whip by Jindrak and tags in Cajun, who then takes out both Misfits. Then… some other shit happens, and some other shit, followed by other shit. There’s no selling and everyone just takes each other out with finishers and then The Great Fucking Muta, who’s supposed to be a face who just got turned on by Vampiro, comes out and tries to attack Kronic. Chuck ends up getting Pump Handled slammed and Adams has the match one but Disco won’t count. Adams argues with the Ref and then Shawn runs in but Clarke catches him and press slams him into the rest of the guys on the outside. Kronic double chokeslames Chuck and Chavo runs in, ko’s Disco, and counts the pin.
0.5/5.0 Just a horribly disorganized match that couldn’t create a sense of anything, and was just utter chaos, and not in a fun way either. People would act hurt for like two minutes and then just randomly no sell, and leave the ring, and some other person would run in. The only saving grace was at the end with Kronic as they made up at the end by being total badasses and the match did do a good job of creating suspense at the end, but the two minutes of good can’t go over the sixteen minutes of horridness.
5th Match: Shane Douglas w/ Torrie Wilson vs Billy Kidman Strap Match
Shane says that Torrie doesn’t deserve a punk like Kidman, amazing choice of words. Shane says that Kidman couldn’t handle the Five Buck Tramp all night and that he’s going to take skin off his ass by whipping him with a strap, but right now they’re going to wrestle.
Shane goes for a clothesline but Kidman wraps Shane up in the strap and brings him down. I like that they’re starting this off slowly instead of doing a super brawl, it adds a sense of realism to it. Kidman tries talking to Torrie outside the ring giving Shane time to try to attack him but Kidman takes him out with a clothesline. Kidman rams Shane into the rail and does a cool spot were he uses the strap to ram Shane into the post. Kidman throws Shane back in and whips him with the strap. Torrie distracts Kidman leading to Shane crotching him with the strap. Shane claws at Kidman, and Torrie chokes him over the rope. Shane does a knuckle lock and throws Kidman around. He crotches Kidman on the ropes. This match is pretty brutal, Shane’s really fucking up kidman here. Kidman comes back with punches in bunches and a rana. Clothesline followed by a dopkick into a powerbomb for two. Kidman takes off Shane’s shirt and whips him. Kidman misses a splash in the corner but Kidman catches Shane up top and press slams him down. Kidman whips Shane in the nuts and does a sick bulldog off the ropes. Torrie gets on the apron and takes out her shoe. She tires to hit Kidman but Kidman dodges and she takes out Shane, giving Kidman a two count. Kidman runs into a press slam by Shane, onto the ropes for two. Shane goes for a Fisherman’s Suplex but Kidman reverses into a pinfall for two. Shane hits his Brain Buster finish for two. Kdiman reverses a slam and whips Shane into Torrie, and pins him for the win.
3.5/5.0 Pretty brutal match here, but the ending was kind of arupt and I feel they could’ve gone a little longer, and kept up the brutalness of it. This match had a good flow and it could’ve turned into a Eddie Gurrerro/JBL type match if they kept it going.
Five Buck Tramp runs in the ring so Kidman starts whipping her in the ass with the strap but Shane takes out Kidman, and then chokes him with the strap. Vito comes in to save Kidman, and Shane and Torrie scram. Then Reno, the guy who attacked Kidman on Nitro last week, comes in and attacks Vito. They brawl for a little bit but Vito takes out Reno with a big boot. They’re setting up a feud between Vito and Reno but both are kind of just generic bald dudes so no one really cares.
6th Match: Major Gunns vs My Beautiful and Beloved Bra and Panties Match
Stacy tries for a handshake but Gunns is a trashy bitch so she slaps Stacy. They go into a cat fight and Stacy throws Gunns into the corner. Stacy does a nice handspring elbow. Gunns comes back with a snapmare and a necksnap. Eh, decent match actually. Gunns does a roll up for two. Gunns looks kind of awkward as she takes a while to do moves. Stacy dodges under a clothesline and hits her own, and then takes Gunns’s shirt off showing her big old rookers. They do a nice criss cross and Gunns hits a face plant. Gunns takes off Stacy’s shorts but there’s shorts under Stacy’s shorts. My Beloved is a genius. Stacy goes up top and whoops ‘dat ass, and hits a crossbody for two. Stacy runs into a kick from Gun, and Gunns tries a sunset flip for two. Stacy goes for a standing crossbody but Gunns dodges and Stacy flies to the outside of the ring. Gunns follows to the outside but Stacy throws her onto the post. Stacy takes off Gunns’s shorts so Gunns takes off Stacy’s shirt. They walk over to the mud pit and Stacy backdrops Gunns into the mud pit. Gunns brings Stacy into there and Stacy really slams her onto the sand bags around the mud pit. Stacy randomly grabs her stomach like she’s in pain and Gunns rolls her up for the win.
3.0/5.0 Pretty decent match, and they worked the bra and panties gimmick in there pretty well too.
David Flair runs out and the EMT’s come because Stacy’s stomach is hurt. I imagine that she picked something up from Gunns.
7th Match: Demon vs Sting
Demon attacks Sting on the ramp during his entrance but Sting punches Demon, and throws him around the guardrails. Sting throws Demon in and hits a Stinger Splash into the Death Drop for the win.
DUD This probably pissed a bunch of people off, people would go to WCW shows to see Sting wrestle and they get to see him in a two minute match against another guy in facepaint. Woo!
Vampiro and friends attack Sting after the match continuing their never ending feud. They bring Sting out to the ramp but then Kronic come out and attack Vampiro, and friends. Demon gets away and kind of just watches as Vampiro, and Muta get beat up. Clarke grabs the microphone and challenge Vampiro, and Muta to a tag team match, and put the titles on the line. Why, why, why, would Kronic do that after doing a four tag team match earlier in the night and winning? You could say that they want to take on Vampiro, and Muta, and they can’t do it on Nitro next week, but still, that’s kind of stupid. Yeah, Vampiro and Muta do attack people a lot, but if Kronic was to wrestle everyone that interfered they would be wrestling -non-stop. Also, I feel this match is going to be really awkward. You have the bad guys, Muta and Vampiro, as the small dudes, how are they supposed to work over, and put in peril Bryan Adams, and Brian Clarke? It could be decent but at the same time the heel formula they always use in tag matches could make this very bad, and very clunky.
8th Match: Mike Awesome vs Lance Storm (C) for the United States Championship with Jacques Rougeau as the Special Enforcer Canadian Rules
I have no idea what Canadian Rules are, possibly involve putting women in the crossface to win. They do the Canadian Anthem before the match and Madden tears up. Mark, honestly, is a pretty entertaining commentator, I know a lot of people give him shit but I think he’s awesome. By the way, this PPV is from Canda so the crowds behind Lance.
Anyway, Mike starts the match off FAST. He hits Lance with some punches, big boot, and catches him in butterfly suplex. The problem with having Mike kill Lance in the start is that Lance is the face here because CANADA IS BIZZARO WORLD! Lance comes back with a jawbreaker and a clothesline in the corner. Chops Mike in the corner and Lance goes for a suplex which Mike reverses which Lance rolls out of, but Mike just clotheslines Lance to the outside. Both guys on the outside and Mike whips Lance into the rail. I am really, really tired of seeing people whipped into the fucking rail. I think they’ve done it in every match in this show minus the chick match. Mike sets up a table but Lance rams Mike into the rail. Back in and Lance hits a missile dropkick for two. This match is so fast paced its hard to keep up with. Lance tries something off the top but Mike catches him with a belly to belly. Mike goes up top but falls off the top which causes the crowd to laugh at him. Awesome goes for the Awesome Bomb but Lance rolls out into a roll up. Lance goes for the half crab but Awesome throws him off but runs into a powerbomb which Lance kicks out at two but the Referee counts three. Rougeau tells the announcer on the outside that in Canadian Rules you have to win with a five count.
Lance goes for a sunset flip but Mike catches Lance and drops him for two. Mike goes into a Dragon Sleeper onto Lance which looks really sick. The Referee gives Mike the win but Rougeau talks to the announcer outside, and he announces that you can only win by pinfall in Canadian Rules. Back inside the ring and Lance gets a roll up for two but runs into a release German suplex. Lance backdrops Mike to the apron but Mike comes back in with a shoulderblock for a four count. Tony’s bitching but if those are the Canadian Rules its totally fair. Mike comes off the top with a frogsplash for a five count for the win. Rougeau is talking to the announcer that after the five count you have ten seconds to get up. This is horrible, the crowd wants to cheer for Lance but they’re treating Lance like the heel that’s only winning by cheating. That would work if it WASN’T IN HIS FUCKING HOMETOWN! This match is just killing the crowd. Lance gets up but Mike shoulderblocks Lance to the outside. Lance grabs a chair from the fans and hits Mike with it and pins Mike inside for four. Jesus, this match is fucking weird.
Lance sets Mike up on the table inside the ring but Mike catches him and does a German Suplex off the top through the table. Both guys are ko’d so the announcer says that whoever gets up at ten wins the match. Mike is about to get up first but Rougeau ko’s Mike with a punch giving Lance the win. The crowd is pretty happy about it too.
2.5/5.0 The way that this match was booked, it was booked for an American crowd. Its booked so Lance is the heel using illegal rules to beat the good guy Mike Awesome, but Lance is the face in Canada which just made this whole match really awkward. Most of the match, the bad guy, Mike Awesome, would kill the good guy Lance Storm, and the good guy, Lance Storm, would win through illegal tactics, or made up rules. The match was really exciting, and a lot of it worked, and I do kind of want to give it a higher rating because I was so into it, but at the same time the way this match was booked was so backwards, and shows that these guys could’ve had a great, normal match without all the zany, weird heel is face, and face is heel, but we’re going to book them the same way anyway Russo bullshit.
Bret Hart comes out and hugs Lance. This match would’ve been way better if Lance had won fair and square after a hard fought contest rather then doing 80’s Ric Flair shit.
I can’t find the Kronic vs Vampiro/Muta match which kind of sucks because I’m curious about how they made the match work, and I know Muta/Vampiro went over, but whatever, I’ll just let Caliber give his thoughts on that one.
10th Match: Kevin Nash vs Scott Steiner vs Goldberg
Goldberg doesn’t come out, possibly because someone told him in 2003 that he was going to get beat up by a Canadian Midget with long blonde hair.
Nash hits a couple of knees and a big boot to Steiner sending him to the outside. Am I really fucking watching Kevin Nash vs Scott Steiner? Its like WCW couldn’t book shittier if they tired. This is one of those matches that they book on Smackdown vs Raw were everyone just taunts and does finishers for an hour before quitting because no one can win the stupid match.
Goldberg comes out but Stiener works over his injured ribs. Inside now, and Stiener boots away at Goldberg. T-Bone suplex by Steiner for two. Whip by Steiner but Goldberg dodges under and hits a spear, followed by a super kick which sends Steiner to the outside. Nash comes in the ring, and Goldberg, and Nash have a staredown. Nash hits some haymakers but Goldberg comes back with his own punches. Nash comes back by working over Goldberg’s ribs but Scott runs in with a German suplex to Nash for two. Steiner clotheslines Nash and hits him with an elbow for two. Steiner jaws with the Referee probably because he’s already out of moves. God, Scott Steiner really sucks. Goldberg and Scott do a double clothesline spot leaving Nash up. Both guys get up but Nash brings them down with a double clothesline. Nash hits Scott with a sidewalk slam and clears him out with a clothesline. Big boot to Goldberg and Nash sets up for the Powerbomb but Goldberg throws Nash off. Goldberg and Nash jaw, and then Goldberg just starts walking down the ramp when Vinny Russo comes down and tells Goldberg to go back in the ring. Goldberg just leaves, damn, this really makes Goldberg look like a huge pussy.
Scott attacks Nash and sends him to the outside. Hits Nash with a chairshot and whips him into the rail much to my chagrin. Before they were covering up Scott’s weaknesses by using the triple threat formula but now that its just Scott and Nash this match could really end up sucking. Scott brings Nash in, and hits him with a backdrop suplex for two. Steiner hits a back breaker on Nash for two. Scott whips Nash into the corner but runs into a big boot. Then Steiner’s whore comes out. Nash hits Steiner with a snake eyes but The Whore runs in, ko’s the Ref, and hits Nash with a low blow. Jesus, even the fucking women can ko the Referees.
This shit starts to get overly complicated as Nash hits Scott with a low blow, but the whore runs in and hits Nash with another low blow which Scott gets two off of. Nash hits Scott with a DDT for two as The Whore breaks it up. Nash hits a big boot and sets up for the powerbomb again. Hits the Jacknife for the win.
3.5/5.0 Decent match, they covered for Scott’s weaknesses as the beginning by using the triple threat formula of never ending chaos, and then when it was just Scott and Nash, Scott wasn’t on offense long, and The Whore running in kept a level of excitement and suspense leading toward the end. Surprisingly entertaining. The only two problems with the match is that Goldberg looked like vagina and the crowd might be burnt out for the main event at this point.
Main Event: Jeff Jarrett vs Booker T (C) for the World Heavyweight Championship
Jeff attacks Booker before the match starts as he’s entering the ring. Booker comes back with punches in bunches and an elbow. By the way, Booker’s leg is still injured and he’s selling that as he starts the match, and the commentators are mentioning it. Booker catches Jeff with a powerbomb, and then a superkick, followed by a clothesline to the outside. I swear to Bog if he whips him into the rail… and Booker whips Jeff into the rail, twice. Thank you Bog! Real Horrorshow with some great rookers, showing his zoobies and all that. Back in the ring and Booker goes under Jeff, and crotches him twice on the post. Its not his fault he hit Jeff in the balls, hate the GAME DAMN IT! I wonder how many people made puns about that when Booker lost to Trips at Mania 19. Back to the match, which is honestly kind of uninteresting, Jeff works over Booker’s leg on the post, and grabs a chair, and smashes Booker’s leg with it! Its even better because Jeff is SO going to do the Figure Four later on. Jeff works over Booker’s leg with the chair and then posts his leg on the rail. Jeff does some taunting because he is the chosen one damn it! Drew McIntyre should go to TNA so they can wrestle over who is the REAL chosen one. Does anyone but me even remember Drew McIntyre? Jeff brings Booker inside the ring and puts on a Boston Crab, but Booker reaches the ropes.
Jeff boots Booker’s leg a couple times. Booker rolls to the outside were Jarrett hits Booker in the leg with a chair. Jeff throws Booker inside and whips Booker but Booker jumps over Jeff into a roll up. Double clothesline spot and I guess its time for a breather. This match is… pretty slow compared to the last couple matches. How weird is it that Scott Steiner vs Kevin Nash was faster paced than Booker T vs Jeff Jarrett? Jeff and Booker do a criss cross but Booker catches Jeff in a spinebuster for two. Booker sets up for the Scissors Kick into the Spinaroonie, and Booker kos the Referee by accidentally slapping him. Jesus Christ, where do they get these Refs from? Jeff hits Booker with the guitar and then slaps on the Figure Four. Nice psychology in this match which separates this match from their last match, but at the same time the working on the leg is really bringing down the pace of this match. Booker crawls to the rope breaking the hold but Jeff keeps it on till five, and this Referee takes a really long time to count to five too. Booker’s selling here is pretty good too. Booker rolls to the outside of the ring and is having trouble standing up. Jeff grabs the title belt and goes for Booker but Booker dodges and Jeff takes out the Referee.
Booker sets up a table on the outside and hits Jeff with a Book End onto the table! Jeff looks ko’d, and a Ginger Referee runs in. He starts counting both guys and…. after a close count Booker breaks the count. Booker throws Jeff in and pins him for two as Jeff gets his foot under the rope. Even though Jeff was totally knocked out five seconds ago he magically gets back up and tries to hit Booker with the chair but ends up decking the Referee instead. Jeff hits Booker with a Stroke onto the chair and Charles Robinson, aka the coolest Referee ever runs in and counts two. Booker hits a neckbreaker for two. Booker whips Jeff into the corner but runs into a boot. Jeff comes off the top but Booker catches him in a Book End for the win.
4.0/5.0 The first part of the match was pretty slow compared to the other matches but the pace really picked up at the end. The psychology on the leg worked, and Booker’s selling was really good. The match did become a bit overblown at the end but it lead to more suspense over who was going to win. Pretty good match, however as I predicted earlier the crowd was spent by the time they got to the main event and wasn’t that into the match.
Final Thoughts: The first part of this show kind of sucked, you had a ridiculous spot fest which was okay, a weird assed match involving two hundred kicks, and one of the worst tag, no, one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen. However, once we got to Kidman/Shane the show picked up big time and never went down. Even the women match was and the Steiner/Nash match were surprisingly good, and we had a pretty fun main event to go out on. This show kind of instilled some hope back for Nitro in me and I’m glad I reviewed it. Thumbs up!
I love how they call this PPV NB Rising, yet the NB hasn’t been around for quite a while. It’s also entertaining to see the completely depleted production costs, as the NBR set is nothing more than the Nitro one.
3 Count vs Jung Dragons – Ladder Match for 3 Count’s Recording Contract & Gold Record
This match is actually included on the second ladder match set. Jimmy Wang is the first to bring the ladder in. Pretty creative spot that sees 3 Count bridge the ladder on the ropes, then pile all 3 of the Dragons ontop, followed by a frog-leap splash from Moore. After that it sort of resembles a MITB match, in which there’s a ton of impressive spots & falls one right after another. One of the more original spots is a catapult spot with a ladder, you know, where someone puts all their weight on one end and it snaps up into someone’s face? Well, Shane & Shannon did that to Noble, except when the ladder came up into Noble’s face, Helms put an exclamation on it with a Russian Leg Sweep. Eventually Karagias nabs the recording contract. Not a bad match, but compared to the things going on over in WWE, it just wasn’t matching up.
Karagias nabs the recording contract at 11:32 | ***1/2 Worth a look if you haven’t seen it before
The Great Muta vs The Cat
It’s a shame that The Cat doesn’t get the props he so rightfully deserves. I’m talking the Cat from 1998ish, with Sonny Ono. Although this one ain’t bad either. Apparently the group that Muta is part of is The Dark Carnival. I prefer Sebastian’s Face Paint Pals, personally. This match is decent, actually. 9 times outta 10, any match where people claim to be “martial arts” experts are Godawful, but they’ve got some pretty smooth choreography going on here. Not to mention that Muta looked strong, which played well into Cat’s babyface roll. He really looked like he was having to dig down to beat him, and it drew me into something I thought would be a farce. Cat pins Muta after a series of moves, last of which is a spin kick to the face. Man, they must have paid Muta a TON of fucking money.
Cat hits Muta with a spin kick for the pin at 6:47 | *** Not worth tracking down, but it really helped to make this PPV one of the better ones thus far
We see Buff Bagwell backstage, trying to find his mother.
Positively Kanyon vs Buff Bagwell – Judy Bagwell On A Pole Match
I seriously can’t believe I just had to type that. PK comes out, and he’s entertaining as usual, driving Judy Bagwell out on a forklift. No joke. Only in WCW 2000 would you see an image like the one above. So, we see Buff backstage, still looking for his mother, and he sees the monitor. Apparently Buff never thought his mom might be out by the ring for his match where it’s a Judy Bagwell On A Pole Match. Buff comes out, they battle in the crowd, and come back to the ring where Kanyon takes control. He removes a turnbuckle pad, which I think is the first time I’ve ever seen that in WCW. Kanyon hits a Kutter, which Buff kicks out of. At this point, DDP’s music hits, and…out comes David Arquette. I didn’t see that coming. He tries to help Kanyon, but it just doesn’t workout, as they both eat a Double Blockbuster. Arquette looks like he’s having fun, so I’ve got no complaints at his involvement. Buff pins Kanyon, then takes his mother backstage. David tries to hug it out with Kanyon, but catches a Kutter for his troubles. Honestly, you’d think this match would be terrible, but Kanyon busts his ass every time to be entertaining, and this is no exception.
Buff pins Kanyon after a Blockbuster at 6:45 | **1/2 Again, another match that helps this PPV from reaching the depths that so many ones prior to it have
MIA vs Jindrak & O’Haire vs Perfect Main Event vs |<roni>| – WCW Tag-Team Championship
The Filthy Animals are refs. With Disco in-ring, and the rest are outside enforcers. The Filthy Animals remind me of when I was a teenager, and I realized for the first time in my life that I hated the hip-hop music & culture that was being created. It was so fucking lame, and it never got any better. There’s no way I’m recapping this mess. There’s a great moment where Rey tries to give General Rection a Bronco Buster, but Rection holds out his foot, which Rey lands on, crotch first, and ends up balancing there for a moment. The match is OK. The whole deal is Disco keeps doing slow counts, because they want Jindrak & O’Haire to win the belts, because they’d be the easiest to beat on Nitro. It’s interesting, but gets old after a while. The first match to drag the PPV down. Palumbo gets pinned after High Times.
Palumbo is pinned after High Times at 12:22 | ** It’s decent, as every team gets a chance to shine, but the whole Filthy Animals thing got old.
Shane Douglas w/ Torrie Wilson vs Billy Kidman – Strap Match
This match is more like a dog-collar match, than your traditional strap match. Nothing out of the ordinary. Kidman has the match in his favor in the beginning, however as he & Franchise try and work out some strap-related spots they don’t quite hit their marks. The match continues to be nothing much, as these two don’t have any real chemistry to speak of, and their story line is lame. The last 30 seconds or so happen to be decent, but that’s about it. Kidman wins with an Unprettier, and then proceeds to whip Torrie’s ass, drawing perhaps the biggest pop of the night so far. Of course, it wouldn’t be a strap/dog collar match without the heel “hanging” the face, as Douglas does in the end. Vito runs out to make the save, why I don’t know, and then Reno runs out. Who’s Reno? I have absolutely no clue.
Kidman gets the pin with the Unprettier at 8:22 | * So far the worst match of the night, although not quite WCW 2000 bad
Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock – ROTC Match
Speaking of WCW 2000 bad. The way a person wins is to strip the other. Shocking. Easily the best moment is when Hancock pulls off Gunns’ shirt, and then attempts to pin her, which earns a 2 count. Only in WCW 2000 can you earn a 2 count from ripping someone’s shirt off. Holy crap this is terrible. I mean, this is seriously like watching children try and wrestle. Keibler is athletic, I’ll give her that. They’re SERIOUSLY trying to have a wrestling match here, no joke. They eventually work their way over to the mud-pit that’s by the enterance. Keibler keeps selling her stomach, and at first I thought perhaps she popped an implant. Oh, now Gunns is “breaking character” and David Flair runs out. Wait a minute, everything else was fake, but this MUST be real! Oh wow! This is the Russo we know and love. Crap that is absolutely pathetic & insulting, and does absolutely nothing to advance anyone or anything. Tony informs us that “this is not part of the match, and very serious”. He says “this is very serious” again as we see her on a stretcher, in a bathing suit, covered in mud. Oh, then Tony tell us that Hancock’s real name is “Stacy Keibler”, which means this is REALLY REAL. I hate you so much, Russo. So, now we’re lead to believe that Gunns caused Keibler’s miscarriage, and Keibler is gonna want revenge in real life in a scripted wrestling match? I hate you so much, Russo.
Gunns pins Hancock at 6:43 | -***** Absolute garbage. Insulting at best.
Backstage, Vampiro tells The Demon that this is his test. He wants to see if he has a blackheart. Demon seems to think he can oblige.
The Demon vs Sting
The match last about 2 minutes. Demon gets the hell kicked out of him, gets a Stinger Splash, and then the Deathdrop. Hey, no complaints from me.
Sting pins Demon with the Deathdrop at 0:52 | *
Afterwards, Vampiro & Muta show up to enguage in some no goodknicking. Kronik comes out, they exchange some unpleasentries, and set up a tag-match for later tonight. Well, thank God. I wasn’t even close to getting enough Vamp, Muta, & Kronik.
Mike Awesome vs Lance Storm – Canadian Championship
Lance calls out for a fair ref, The Mountie. Although he’s called Jaques Rageou. He’ll be an outside enforcer, it seems. Really, they couldn’t use Bret? In case you’re wondering where Awesome’s fat lady is, she revealed herself to be Canadian and turned on Awesome. I hate you, Russo. Awesome absolutely destroys Storm with one of the hardest powerbombs I’ve ever seen, earning him the 3 count. However, Jaque says that according to his Candian rule book, it’s gotta be a 5 count, so the match continues. He soon gets a Dragon Sleeper on Storm, getting the tap-out. However, Jaque says that Candian rules say submissions don’t mean shit. It’s really weird to see a ref count to 4, and still have a kick-out. Awesome soon hits a splash, earning the 5 count. Again, no go. Canadian rules say after being pinned, you have 10 seconds to get to your feet. Eventually they both crash through a table, and Lance answers the 10 count. Bret now comes out, which makes me wonder why they couldn’t do a lot more with him tonight, since the crowd is constantly cheering for him. Bret enters the ring and it’s a big hug fest. Man, Bret has God-awful WCW music.
Lance wins after answering a count of 10 at 11:28 | * A some what entertaing match, but clumsy. Not worth tracking down, really.
Nash interview. He says he’s “going over Steiner, tonight”. Oh snaps. That’s a shoot comment! The previous interviews must have been fake!
Vampiro & The Great Muta vs |<roni>| – WCW Tag Team Titles
Not too much to report, as it’s a very standard tag-match. Absolutely nothing interesting to recap, honestly. Bad guys do stuff, good guys fight back, ref gets sprayed in the eyes, Harris Brothers show up out of no where, H-Bomb Wrath, allowing Muta to hit the moonsault and get the pin. I don’t get it. Don’t tag-teams want the tag-titles? So if you have beef with someone, why cost them the title?
Muta hits the moonsault for the pin & the titles at 9:06 | * Like I said, completely standard and as basic as you can get
Scott Steiner vs Goldberg vs Kevin Nash – #1 Contendership Match
Nash looks really dark, like he was playing in the dirt or something. Perhaps he used some of Hulk Hogan’s Deck Stainer Self-Tanner. The whole night we’ve been hearing about Goldberg being injured in a bike accident, and he may not be here. His music plays twice, and no Goldberg. So, they start the match, and eventually Goldberg shows up. Some decent action takes place for a while, but then…wait a minute. See, Nash was gonna go for the Jackknife, but Goldberg just pushed him away and walks off. Russo comes out and tells Bill to get back in the ring. Wait a minute…I know everything else is fake, but this MUST be real! Oh wow!. They then say Nash is a pro for not hitting Goldberg, and how he’s always a pro in the ring. Hilarious. Tony says “If the Jackknife was part of the design, what are they gonna do now? Improvise?”. What?! Wrestlers improvise?! That would definetly be a first. Midaj comes out, low blows the ref, then low-blows Nash. It only earns a two count however once the ref comes to. Nash hits Steiner with the Jackknife, as we’re lead to believe that Steiner is a consument professional for going up for the move. You have to love the announcers talking about the match, and going in and out of kayfabe. Fuck you, Russo.
Nash wins with the Jackknife at 10:48 | * It’s worth seeing simply for the brilliance of Russo. Now, when you watch the match, know that everything else is fake EXCEPT for what you’re watching!
Jeff Jarrett vs Booker T [C] – WCW Championship
Jarrett attacked Booker earlier when he arrived at the arena, smashing his knee in the door of his rental car. They’ve actually had a decent build here with Booker’s weak leg & Jarrett seemingly willing to do whatever it takes to put things at his advantage.
Booker controls the beginning of the match, but once it spills outside, Jarrett uses a chair to turn things into his favor. He smashes Booker’s knee against the ring post, then stabs at it with a chair. Back in, Booker tries to turn things around, and manages to do so for a sec until Jarrett bust a guitar over his leg while the ref is down. A pretty intense Figure-4 spot leads to Double J accidentally knocking out the ref with the title belt. Afterwards, Booker sends Jarrett through a table with the Bookend. Back in, Double J knocks out the new ref and hits The Stroke on a steel chair, which only gets 2 when yet another new ref arrives. Booker soon hits Jarrett with the Bookend to win the match.
Not a bad go-round, and definetly the best of the night, but it isn’t nearly as good as their match from Bash at the Beach. This one was rather boring for the first 3 quarters or so. Once it picked up, it really started to do well, and had it kept going for another 10 minutes or so they would have had something, unfortunately it didn’t. It was nice to see a WCW main event Championship match end clean without any bullshit though, I will say that. I’m actually enjoying Booker’s run as champion, even though I know it’s soon going to lead to….well, you’ll see.
Booker hits the Bookend on Jarrett for the pin at 14:54 | **3/4 A suitable main event, but they’ve definetly done better. Not worth tracking down.
Showcase Showdown: The PPV started off well, and you start to get lulled into this false sense of security where you aren’t going to have things like “shoot miscarriages” and “shoot moments”, but then you remember that lanky moron Vince Russo is behind the wheel. There are a few bright spots here, such as the opening & closing match, but the majority of everything else is typical bullshit. The most insulting of course being Ms Hancock’s “miscariage” in which the commentators “broke kayfabe” and acted like it was the real deal. How the fuck Russo thought this would genreate interest, money, or anything else other than a loathing for him and the product is beyond me.