Sid starts us off with a promo about his victory from last night. My computer is lagging, causing Sid to stutter & sputter and sound like an idiot. No, excuse me. My internet speed had nothing to do with that. This of course brings out Double J, as he blames his loss on Hal Hogan. After a lot of “I don’t like the way you dress” and “I feel your political views are skewed” sort of talk, they agree to a tag match where the end result will be the 33rd meeting between Jarrett & Sid. It’s really quite a shame that 99% of the roster died in that bus crash, thus meaning that only Sid & Jeff can battle for the title.
Later, Sid & Hulk Hogan vs Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner.
Chris Candido vs Lash
We’re treated to TAFKAP on commentary. I do mean treated, because he literally doesn’t say a word. Chris is suppose to be breathing new life into the Cruiserweight scene, despite the fact he’s about 240lb.
Candido wins with a splash at 2:01 – *
Fit Finlay vs La Parka
Fit is no longer wearing his cast. Again, something else that makes me wish the real world was like pro-wrestling. Horrible, debilitating injury? Don’t worry, the angle is over in a week and you’ll be healed. La Parka gets on the mic, and talks a beavy of shit. He then throws the mic down and points to his throat like he wasn’t the one talking. Yet, he was doing the gestures of what he was saying. I don’t know. The only high light of the match is Finlay sitting La Parka in a chair on the outside, then leaping over the top rope. La Parka moves, and Finlay hits the chair’s seat, head first. So, one can assume that Finlay was hoping to give a diving head-butt to La Parka’s dick. Awesome.
Finlay picks up the win after a Celtic Cross at 3:30 – *
David Flair comes out with super hot Daffney, and sets up a table outside before getting into the ring. He’s mad about the neckbrace, he’s mad about The Wall, and he’s mad that The Wall put Bam Bam & Crowbar in the hospital. He says that Bammer & Crowbar are in the same room, and there’s one bed left, for The Wall! So, there you go. That’s a friend. Putting your assailant in the room with you. Well, bottom line is the Wall comes out and put’s David through the table. Shocker. They should have used someone worth getting over here, because if that person had actually stopped The Wall, and put him through the table, instant star. Even if that would mean having to watch The Wall wrestle. Ugh.
Ron & Don Harris [C] vs Booker & Kidman – WCW World Tag-Team Championship
The tag-title match gets a whole 2:20 worth of time. Ron hits Booker with the strap, drawing the DQ. DUD
Luger vs Vampiro
Luger looks terrible. He looks like he went looking for the Holy Grail, but choose poorly, and it’s just taking it’s sweet time to kill him. The match of course goes no where, and doesn’t even last 4 minutes, but it was getting there. Vampiro was getting his ass kicked but started to mount up quite the come back.
Of course, Flair interferes, knocks Vamp out, Luger racks Vamp, end of story. 3:36 – **
Gene goes into the nWo lockeroom, where nothing happens except for a few Steiner excerpts;
“it’s hard to meet a good man down”, “Hogan, you want a pine piece of me?”
Now it’s interview time with Dustin. He says his motto is out with the old, and in with the new. Makes perfect sense, since Dustin is a spry youngster who’s second generation, been around for 10 years, and held multiple titles.
After that, we get a mock press conference where people ask Sid a bunch of lame questions. Eventually, Hogan comes in to pat Sid on the back, and say how he’s the future of WCW and such. At which point, the reporters try and ask Hogan questions as he leaves. I’d bet my spleen that Sid turns on Hogan in the tag-match later, with this being the catalyst.
Norman Smiley vs Hugh Morris
What do you expect? Hugh hits Norman with the No Laughing Matter at 2:40 – *
Dustin Rhodes vs Curt Hennig
They have a battle for the ages that last a staggering, old school 1:20. That’s one minute & twenty seconds, not an hour and twenty minutes. Dustin uses weapons to draw the DQ, Hogan makes the save. DUD
Gene interviews Sid, and says he wanted to interview Hogan, but he was busy outside of the arena. Despite being in the ring.
Tank Abbot vs Barbarian
Barbarian gets a few shots in, Tank hits him, walks out. 2:00
Sting vs Ric Flair
You know, it’s like an abusive relationship. You hope that things have changed. That this time it’ll be different. But it never is. At this point, you know Sting & Flair is going to suck. But you hope. Then your hope dies on the vine.
Flair taps at 4:40
Hulk Hogan & Sid vs Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner
Honest to God, I was falling asleep as I was watching this, when I heard an extremely loud “FUCK YOU”. I thought it had come from the TV, but it was on mute. No, it came from Scott Steiner. He got in Hogan’s face and yelled “FUCK YOU” as he gave the finger. You can hear it clear as day. The video then skips, because they hit the delay dump, but since they’re morons, they hit it too late. Well, my spleen is safe, as Sid chokeslams Hogan and the announce team looses their mind. Sid then pins Hogan, which makes absolutely no sense. The ref counts it, too. I have to admit, I’m actually excited to find out what inane reasoning Sid has for this. You’d think it’d be something simple like he’s assuming Hogan is trying to hog his spotlight, but no. I’m sure it’ll be something like Sid is mad at Hogan because Vampiro doesn’t like MacGyver.
Sid chokeslams Hogan and rocks the pin of his own opponent at 5:20
Summary: Well, we’re close. I believe it’s a few more shows before the set rehaul, and we’re under the Bischoff & Russo regime. As for this show, damn was it terrible. The longest match was less than 6 freaking minutes! The rest of the show had title matches ending in DQ, filler matches that meant nothing the second the bell rang, and boring advancements in boring story-lines. Every time I watch an episode from this era, I’m blown away by how truly bad it is. So, at least they’re consistent.