Souled Out 2000 – January 16th, 2000

Caliber Winfield:
It’s funny, I complained about Nitro not having any wrestling. Never before as the adage “be careful what you wish for” ever rang so true….dear God.

Souled Out 2000 was quite the disaster. Two advertised matches had gone down the shitter. Bret vs Sid for the WCW Title had to be scrapped because Bret was forced to retire. Jeff Jarrett vs Christ Benoit in the Triple Threat Theater was scrapped because Jeff earned a concussion when Jimmy Snuka jumped off of a cage onto him. According to The Death of WCW, one of the awesome ideas Russo had was to have a Battle Royal to crown a new champ, and wanted Tank Abbot to win. A guy whom NO ONE gave a shit about. So, because of this, and the rampant amounts of crap he was bringing without any reward, Russo was canned. For the first time. Don’t worry though, he’d get that strap on Abbot soon.

Sebastian Howard:
We get the clip of Bret getting kicked by Goldberg and the commentators briskly mention that Bret had a freaking stroke. Then they transition to the next thing, jeez guys you could give some time to talk about Bret Freaking Hart.

Tonight’s matches involve Billy Kidman wrestling three guys, Terry Funk’s wrestling for some reason, and DDP’s going to wrestle Buff Bagwell. Vampiro was attacked by David Flair, Crowbar, and Daffney for some reason. The New NWO are supposed to be the heels here with David being a good guy but if that’s the case why is he attacking people from behind? If both of those people are heels you’re number one face is Buff Bagwell.

Catch-As-Catch-Can Match
Kidman wins at 2:36 when Dean rolls out of the ring

Caliber Winfield:
There’s a million reasons why Vince Russo is the worst thing to ever happen to wrestling. One of those reasons is his constant need to create stupid stipulations, and give them really stupid names.

A “Catch-As-Catch-Can” match means you can’t leave the ring. You can lose via pin, submission, or if your feet hit the floor. Well, after about 2 minutes and 36 seconds, Dean rolls outside to collect himself, and that’s the match. I believe Dean made a mistake, and that’s not how it was suppose to go. Thank God, because I was really afraid they’d have a great match.

Sebastian Howard:
Damn this looks like a pretty good match. Lock up #1 and Dean brings Billy into the corner. Headlock by Dean but Billy whips off only for Dean to shoulderblock him down. Loxk up #2 leading to Dean taking over but Billy backs Dean into the corner. Dean hides in the ropes getting pretty good heat from the crowd. The only problem with having this as the first match is that Dean looks like cannon fodder to Billy because Billy has to wrestle two more times tonight. Its kind of like the CM Punk guantlet on Raw or any gauntlet match really. Whoevers number one ends up getting either eliminated early or comes off looking really bad. As I’m writing this Dean gets counted out in what has to be the fastest count out ever. I guess the rules for this match is your feet can’t touch the floor. I guess its a nice way to protect Dean but a horrible way to start off your pay-per-view.

DUD: Match couldn’t even get started, it was the first three minutes of a really good match but all they did was basic stuff.

We go to people in the crowd yelling yeah for a little bit to take up time I guess and then we get clips of this really stupid David Flair vs NWO crap that’s hurting my head to watch. I can’t even explain it. Vampiro tries to cut a promo but some guy grabs the mic and starts yelling in Japaneese. David Flair gets a promo but just laughs into the mic. I don’t see how this is supposed to get them over at all.

2 on 1 Handicap Match
Vampiro hits the Nail in the Coffin on Crowbar for the pin in 10:32

Before the match starts, Vampiro is giving an interview, when all of a sudden, Masahiro Chono just comes out, grabs the mic, talks in Japanese and then that’s it. Literally. They never talk about it again, and nothing comes of it. What the serious hell? Now, this was suppose to be a Tag-Team Championship match, with Vamp choosing a partner. However, Flair & Crowbar attack Vamp before hand, and this makes him so mad that he wants to make things more difficult for himself, and not have any reward, so he demands the 2 on 1. Makes sense. Last job I had, I said “No, don’t pay me to be a security officer, let me just try and jump up my own ass for no money!”
Vamp at one point attempts a reversal, screws it up, and gets the almighty “you fucked up” chant. At one point, Flair attacks Crowbar for NO REASON. David get’s knocked outside, then Vampiro hits the Nail on Crowbar. Now, Daffney, who’s been doing her best to interfere in the match is standing right next to these two as Vampiro goes to pin Crowbar, but does absolutely nothing. Couldn’t she have just looked the other way, or something? Absolutely terrible.

This is supposed to be a triple threat but Flair and Crowbar are in a tag team so they try to work over Vampiro but Vampiro kicks the crap out of them. Flair gets sent outside and Vampiro chops Crowbar and goes for a suplex but Crowbar reverses with a really nice bridged suplex for a two. Monkey flip by Crowbar but Vampiro lands on his feet and then sends Crowbar to the outside and hits a nice plancha. Flair in and he hits some really shitty chops. Dude, you’re the son of Ric Flair and you don’t know how to do a chop? Vampiro comes back and takes off David Flair’s shirt, then shows him how to chop. He throws Flair back to the outside and then hits a nice baseball slide to the outside. Vampiro works over Flair on the outside but Crowbar jumps onto Vampiro.

Crowbar sets Vampiro up on the outside and hits a frogsplash on the floor. Nice, this match minus David Flair has been pretty good. David hits some more shitty chops as Vampiro gets sent back inside but Vampiro hits him with some manly chops only for Crowbar to hit him from behind and hit a flippy apron move. Crowbar goes to the top but Vampiro catches him and hits him with a swank superplex. David breaks up the pinfall and hits some shitty kicks. David’s offesne is just so bad, WCW decides to do a bunch of replays and I can’t see what’s happening live because the screens really freaking small. There’s a small Vampiro chant going on but most of the crowd is pretty silent. David hits his first wrestling move of the match in a suplex. Crowbar goes for a powerbomb but you can’t powerbomb Vampiro apprantley because he reverses with a botched facebuster. Chops to David and Crowbar and then a Rock Bottom for some reason but Crowbar gets his foot on the rope.

Crowbar hits a frogsplash and David gets a Figure Four, bullshit David shouldn’t even be associatied with that move. David beats up Crowbar and then gets kissed by Daffney, lucky bastard. He gets a giant push because his Dad’s Ric Fucking Flair. Anyway Vampiro comes back and wins with a, I had to remind to make sure, a fucking scoop slam! A scoop slam!

Match was pretty good when Vampiro and Crowbar were in but David really brought this down and this match went on too long. Plus Vampiro won this with a fucking scoop slam, that’s the stupidest finsh I’ve ever heard off, at least the backslides somewhat belivable. I mean couldn’t hav Vampiro followed it up with a leg drop or something?

Tag-Team Match
Big Vito pins Ron Harris after a flying clothesline in 9:33

Vito & The Bull are absolute, complete rip-offs of the FBI, and not even 1/100th as entertaining. I’m absolutely shocked that Russo didn’t also have them be 50’s style singers, so they could be called the Do-Whops. This match is passable, but absolutely boring as all hell. Crowd chants DOA at one point, so there’s that.

For some reason whenever I hear the Harris Boys I think of guys with long dark hair instead of two bald redneck dudes. I think its because TNA had a tag team called the Harris Brothers that fit that description, either that or I’m just insane.

Vito and Johnny are supposed to be um, Full Blooded Italians. Johnny Bull gets tagged in but one of the Boys works him over on the outside. Johnny gets hit by a side slam. Other Boy in. Mike asks Bobby which Boy this is, “The one without hair.” Don Harris is in and Ron’s on the outside because I know that information is unbelviably valuble. Johnny gets a roll up on Don but gets a two. Don tags in Ron and he works over Johnny with punches. The fans have been really quiet this entire show. I kind of feel bad for these guys as they don’t have anything to work with here. Its almost as sad as watching Ted Dibaside or Hunico today, you know they’re not going anywhere so its just down right depressing to watch them wrestle. Johnny gets worked over in the corner by Don. Who would name their son Don? Fans start a boring chant but they’re too bored to keep that chant going. Johnny gets worked on the outside of the ring some more. Ron hits him with a press slam.

Johnny goes for a sunset flip but gets two. Ron hits a DDT but Vito breaks it up. I know they’re supposed to lead to the hot tag but the crowd is just dead so it just seems like a Rockers formula match but it sucks. Disco Inferno pushes Vito into the ring and Vito gets a roll up win even though he wasn’t the leagal man.

Match was atrocious, just horrible. You lead to a hot tag the whole time and it just ends with a random roll up and no hot tag so you can further a stupid Italian fued involving Disco Inferno. Crowd was dead the whole time.

Fuck this match. Period.
OK’s fat ass fucks up a roll-up at 2:36

It’s great to know that apparently women shouldn’t be allowed in pro-wrestling, but fat, talentless writers who don’t know when the horse is absolutely dead do belong? Interesting. This match is just an absolute insult to anyone who’s taken pride in being a pro-wrestler. Fuck Ed Ferrara & Vince Russo.

Oklahoma comes out first to cut a promo and actually gets some pretty heel heat. I honestly never knew who Oklahoma was until I read one of Scott Keith’s old WCW Reviews. He’s supposed to be a stupid, goofy, heel version of Jim Ross. Oklahoma tells everyone that women and worthless and that he’s going to put Madus back in the kitchen where she belongs. Madusa comes out in what has to be the stupidest attire I’ve ever seen, its like a US flag over her panties.

Madus kicks the crap out of Oklahoma. Oklahoma comes back with hair pulling but Madusa comes back with more kicks and headbutts him in the balls. I’m really sick of seeing stuff like that, I was watching Lethal Weapon three the other day and this chicks kicking guys in the balls. We don’t twist chicks tits or whatever, I don’t mind a girl beating up a guy in a movie but they could do it through kicking them in the face or something among those lines. Oklahoma wins by pulling the US flag thingy that’s covering her panties into a roll up. Madusa and her girlfriends at ringside grab BBQ sauce and put it down Oklohama’s wrestling singlet Kurt Angle/Jack Swangle thingy.

The only wrestling move this entire match was a DDT with the rest of it being Oklahmoa hair pulling and fucking Madusa doing shitty kicks.

Four Way Match for the WCW Hardcore Championship
Knobbs nails Smiley with a police shield for the pin at 6:11


Before this match begins, they show us some clips of what happened between Knobbs & Finlay on the last Monday’s Nitro. Of course, this didn’t happen at all. Tony then makes the save by saying that this never aired. Spot on, baby.

Bobby Heenan says that this is the best hardcore match he’s ever seen. Man, WCW paychecks must have been rather robust. Norman Smiley is extremely over, and they should have had him win the Hardcore Title, and retain it on fluke wins, so he can play the role of the cowardly, reluctant champ, ala Mikey Whipreck. It would have worked, and worked well. Hell, what do I know, because sticking Knobbs with a guy who acts like a dog is far better.

This match isn’t much, because the only time WCW really knew how to execute a hardcore match was if either Mick Foley or Raven were involved. NOT Brian Knobbs [with exceptions to the 1994 street fight, but that was because of Mick]

Just a total garbage brawl. Finlay might have been able to somewhat salvage this thing if he gave a shit but at this time he didn’t and I can’t blame him. Its just people picking up shit and hitting each other with it. Finlay grabs a fucking SWAT team helmet, where the fuck did he get a SWAT team helmet? Was it under the ring? Because you need a fucking SWAT team helmet to set up the ring! [Note from Caliber: Norman came out wearing it] Finlay punches Norman Smiley over the guardrail and they do shitty crowd brawling for about ten seconds and then Finlay throws him back over the guardrail. Finlay and Norman fight some more and Bobby says this is th best hardcore match he’s ever seen. What the fuck are you on Bobby? Finlay actually does a pretty cool spot where he picks Norman up and drops his head on a chair. Meng goes for a pin fall on the inside but Finlay breaks it up. Norman in the ring with a fucking police riot shield!? What the fucking fuck? Norman decides to randomly dance leading to Knobs htting Norman with the shield to win.

Absoluteshit, about ten minutes of people hitting each other with random shit.

Bunkhouse Brawl Match
Kidman hits a faceplant to win at 10:05

This is one of the matches that saved this PPV from being the worst I’ve ever seen. Both are great wrestlers, and went out there to try and salvage what they could. I still think Saturn has the greatest elbow in wrestling’s history. Near the end, they end up top for what I believe was to be Saturn attempting a top-rope powerbomb, with Kidman reversing into a faceplant. However, they couldn’t get their footing, so Kidman went with a suplex. Once back up, Saturn attempts the powerbomb only to get, oh snaps, a faceplant. They also had a nice table-spot that the cameras missed, and we had to see in replay.

Billy Kidman with a couple of nice dropkicks and a ten punch in the corner. Kidman with a whip and a clothesline for two. He goes for a nice bulldog but Saturn crotches him and hits a nice bulldog to the outside. What, Perry Saturn and Kidman are both on the outside, doesn’t that mean someone should just stop the damn match? Apparently all the matches have different stipulations and this is a falls count anywhere match so of course Perry brings Kidman in the inside and does a shitty headscissors. Billy gets a roll up but Perry kicks out, clothesline, and then a nice springboard legdrop for two. They’re doing some nice stuff but the crowds just so dead and the match is just so slow its putting me to sleep, literally, I can’t stop yawning. Billy goes for a blind charge but Perry puts up his foot. Perry chokes Billy with his shirt.

Perry goes to the outside to finally use the hardcore part of this match but Kidman hits him with a crossbody to the outside as Perry was in the act of pulling out a table. Perry comes back and sets Kidman up on the table but Kidman comes back with a nice backwards rana but Perry comes back with a scoop slam and gets some nice heel heat. Perry hits an elbow off the top for two. Perry goes for something but Kidman gets a sunset flip and I have to watch in mini-vison as we get a random replay of the elbow mid-move. Perry goes for a powerbomb which Kidman gets out of only for Perry to go for it again and actually hit it. So you can powerbomb Kidman, you just have to try twice! Perry goes for a moonsault but misses which leads to Kidman hitting a bulldog and a chokeslam/spinebuster thing for two. Kidman runs at Perry but Perry reverses and sends kidman over the top through the table! That spot was pretty sweet actually. Perry gets two and then throws Kidman back in.

Perry goes back up to the top but Kidman is back up and catches Perry and hits a swank backdrop superplex but Perry no sells so he goes for the powerbomb but Kidman reverses into a facebuster for the win.

I might be being genrous here but they really did try their best with a dead crowd, the match was pretty slow at times but did have some cool spots. Maybe the show will get better from here….

Big T runs in to cause the DQ 6:30

Before the match, we see Stevie Ray taking a trip through the hood, to show he hasn’t forgot where he’s from. While wearing a nice gold chain, and a Mercedes Benz hat. Keeping it real, baby. While Booker T is in the ring before the match, he lets us know that he hasn’t forgot where he’s from, either. The head-to-toe red latex outfit he’s wearing is proof. If you just walked in and saw this match, you’d wonder why Eddie Murphy from Delirious was fighting Stevie Ray.

The match is crap, as Booker T cannot carry his slug of a brother at all. Ahmed Johnson, or Big T, as he’s now known, runs in for the DQ. From the look of him, that’s the first time he’s ran since we last saw him in 1997. I’m real bummed because I know soon it’s gonna be Booker T vs Big T over the right’s to the letter “T”. I am honest to God shocked that Mr. T didn’t special ref that match.

We cut to Stevie Ray in the hood telling everyone to be good. Stevie’s in the “ghetto.” He says hello to a bunch of his friends who do their black talk. “Yo man you seen Booker T?” “Naw man, I don’t know where he’s around dwag.” I’m not racist in the slightest but this segment is really fucking stupid. Its just Stevie Ray walking around yelling hey dawg, I used to live in the ghetto!

Booker says he hasn’t forgotten where he came from but Stevie Ray has because he can’t depend on him or something. Booker gets a really nice response from the crowd actually. Booker hits some punches and follows that up with kicks. They fight on the outside for a tad and they come back in where booker hits a flying punch for two. Booker rams Stevie into the corner but Stevie comes out of the corner with a badass clothesline that actually makes Booker T flip! Stevie Ray seems to be out of moves after a clothesline so he throws Booker T to the outside and then throws him into the guardrail. He tries it again but Booker reverses and hits Stevie with a punches in bunches. Booker throws Stevie back in and peppers him with more punches. Stevie hits Booker with a powerslam and then to a chinlock! Would somebody just stop the damn match right now! He has a damn chinlock on! By gawd just bring out the damn paramedics!

Stevie does do some pretty stiff looking punches and then snapmares him into an elbowdrop for two. Then another chinlock. I wonder if that’s in Booker T’s fav five moves. Booker tries to fight back but Ray comes back with another powerslam. Stevie goes for a powerbomb but Booker fights out and hits his kick combo. Scissors kick and…. I guess that’s not his finish as he hits the Book End and then a giant dude comes in and kicks the crap out of Booker T for some reason.

Match started off nice but they just ended up repeating things, inside, outside, inside, outside the ring over and over again. Then Stevie Ray decided this match would be better with chinlocks so we spend the build of the match getting heat for Booker to come back and when he finally does a random guy who wasn’t mentioned before runs in and attacks Booker causing a DQ. The match wasn’t really that bad though but it does feel like a waste because this was supposed to be the blow off to their feud and instead its just a way to further the angle.

I just want to mention I did all of that ^^ before going to school, the only reason I mention this is because the only thing I had going on through my mind all day at school was how horrible this show was. I could barely concentrate on anything and my mind was kind of boggled all day. It felt like I sat through a three hour marathon of Jeresy Shore or something. Seriously, this show is pure garbage for your brain.

Stevie and Big Black Guy mumble into the microphone for a little bit and then we cut to a Sid Vicious promo. Sid has to face Benoit here tonight and John has told me this match is actually pretty good so I have something to look forward to this show. Sid says that the match is going to be good and then whispers something stupid really softly into the microphone.

MMA Match
Tank gets the knock-out in 1:39

A fake-MMA match really looks like crap. Tank hits 2 really bad looking left-hooks and Flynn is out. The rules are that you have to answer a 10 count, kinda like Last Man Standing. Well, Tank hits Flynn, Flynn hits the ground, Tank walks out of the ring as they ring the bell and declare him the winner. Tony had to say “well, he couldn’t have even answered a count of 20!” to cover-up the 58th fuck-up from this show.

They brawled in a jail cell on Thunder for some reason leading to this. I think this is supposed to be considered some kind of MMA like fight. Tank goes for some boxing stuff but Jerry does some kicks and then goes to an cross armbreaker (Mike Tenay called it correctly) but Tank picks him up and then hits him with a punch to ko him.

I…. don’t know how to rate this. Wasn’t a match, wasn’t even long. This really does seem like it should be on TV, what a waste of time.

Last Man Standing
Buff Bagwell answers the count of 10 at 11:00

This is another match that helped the show, as it’s pretty damn good. If they’d gone longer, and been allowed a little blood, they could have had a classic on their hands. We know DDP is a workhorse, and Buff can do well if he’s motivated, and with someone who can help carry the work load. They start off with some brawling, and then work over to the internet section. They then fight with monitors, and DDP wields himself a keyboard before being placed on the table. Buff climbs up part of the stage and drops an elbow on the prone DDP, pretty sweet spot. They work there way back to the ring, and start busting out the big moves in order to get the 10 count. Each time they survive. DDP ends up taking a powerslam, a Blockbuster, and a baton beating, but makes it to 9 each time. He hits Buff with a Diamond Cutter, but can’t make it back up in time, giving the win to Mr. Stuff. A much better match than I was expecting. Despite the incredibly stupid finish that had DDP use his finisher on Buff, but couldn’t get back up in time. That makes perfect sense. I once saw a boxing match where a guy hit someone with an uppercut, and the guy who executed the uppercut went down for the 10 count.

The reason for this match is too fucking silly. DDP thinks that Buff’s fucking his wife leading to them arguing over Buff’s stuff and then brawling. Buff: I would put my stuff all over your wife. DDP: Your stuff isn’t big enough! This caused them to brawl on Nitro and I guess this didn’t have any build on Thunder. I really wonder if anyone was watching Thunder at this point, it doesn’t seem that important. Hell the only people who were watching Nitro were WCW loyalists who refused to watch the much superior WWF product at the time.

They say this is a last man standing match but didn’t mention it before hand. Big brawl to start this. They go into the crowd and go into a weird rectangerlish thingy and fall down together and holy shit there’s a guy with a Misfits shirt on! Fuck yeah, Misfits! Back to the match with more shitty brawling. DDP sends Buff over the guardrail and hits him with an elbow over it. Buff comes back by whipping him into the guardrail but DDP gets the advantage in the ring. DDP gets a neckbreaker and then goes for a Diamond Cutter but Buff reverses into a neckbreaker. For some reason DDP gets up first which makes no sense. Its not like Buff hurt himself earlier in the match. DDP hits a clothesline and another one sending both men to the outside.

This match is pretty garbgy so far with them just going in and out of the ring. DDP throws Buff into the guardrail but Buff comes back and they fight to the left outside arena place. Its to the left of the stage I guess would be easier to say. For some reason they have commentators for… I guess for people who ordered this show online? I don’t fucking know and they don’t explain it either. DDP uses the computer and keyboard to fuck up Buff’s Stuff. Buff sets DDP up on the commentators table and climbs the stage thingy and elbowdrops DDP through the table in a nice spot. Buff takes time to sell the arm but he does it really oddly. He holds his arm and just starts walking to the ring while he waits for DDP to attack him. Looked really stupid. DDP of course attacks him from behind and sends Buff back into the ring but Buff comes back by kicking DDP in the Stuff. DDP comes back with punches in bunches and then crotches Buff’s Stuff on the ring post. Buff’s got to be pretty pissed about his Stuff

I’m just happy this match is giving me so many times to write Stuff. Buff comes back using his Stuff (brains) and dodges a blind charge leading to a splash off the second rope and both guys get up at eight. Buff and DDP do a really stupid double clothesline spot and holy shit this is the fastest Ref to count anything ever. He’s counting with the fans doesn’t pause in between seconds not giving the guys a chance to get a breather. They just keep on doing really stupid spots where both guys get down at the same time. Buff hits the Blockbuster and somehow hurts himself even though he does that move every time he wrestles and never hurts himself. The drama here’s really bad because the Ref’s counting way too fast and the wrestlers can’t do that thing where they almost get up at the very last second due to it. Now this match has turned into a bad finisher fest as DDP hits the Diamond Cutter and of course DDP’s down somehow and Buff gets up winning the match? How the fuck did DDP lose after doing his own finisher? That’s the second stupidest finish on this show next to the fucking scoop slam.

Kimberly walks down to ringside and distracts Buff by increasing blood to his Stuff allowing DDP to attack Buff and he’s probably going to go backstage and use his Stuff on Kimberly’s Stuff (and its probably pretty loose Stuff).

This match was just a garbagey brawl with a really stupid finish and the match didn’t even mean anything because nothing was answered. Buff won the match but DDP attacked him from behind so the feud isn’t over and Kimberly didn’t do anything but walk to the ring.

Caged Heat aka Hell in a Cell
The Wall hits a chokeslam & pin at 5:03

The mystery opponent is The Wall. A big slug who is mighty terrible. There’s absolutely no point in the cage, as it’s used once, and the stupid match last’s a whole 5 minutes. At least there were brighter day’s for Kidman in the WWE, and brighter days for The Wall at Arby’s.

Some guy[Caliber Note: How dare you not recognize Dean Douglas!] comes out and blabs about the Revolution or something and calls Kidman a Cock… Roach. Then he announces its, oh shit, its, no, holy shit, no, its, its, ka… THE WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently Billy Kidman cracking his neck shows that he’s scared of The Wall! This is a cage match I suppose. Kidman dropkicks Wall into the cage and beats the shit out of him with a chair. Wall dodges a chairshot and then punches the chair into Billy’s head. Why is the Wall wearing a tie and a nice shirt? He looks like he’s prat of the RTC. Wall hits a big boot and Kidman rolls to the outside. Wall goes out there and slams him into the cage. Well actually this isn’t really a cage, more of a Hell in A Cell deal but the commentators keep on calling it a cage. Wall throws Kidman back in and hits him with some shitty offense, punches, booting, and choking. I feel like I’m watching an Undertaker match from the early 90’s.

You know how some big guy vs little guy matches are really good? Yeah, this isn’t one of those. Billy hits a sunsetflip powerbomb off the corner for two only for the Wall to come back with a Soman drop for two. Kidman hits a botched suplex for two. Billy reverses a chokeslam into a rana (!) but gets caught in a chokeslam when he tries to go off the top and then he… loses? Wow, that move had no heat or anything, I had no idea that was his finish. I mean the commentators didn’t put empahsis on it at all.

1.5/5.0 I feel that both guys tried but this match was just boring and The Wall was slower than Sid Vicious (the wrestler, not the singer) here. The ending was really lame too.

Hardcore Match
Nash hits the Jackknife and get’s the pin at 7:59

The match starts. Funk gets nailed with a chair a few times, then powerbombed through a table. Why it goes beyond that I have no idea. Although, this is the 3rd time I’ve actually seen the powerbomb through the table spot actually be completed, usually it’s the reversal or something. So, Funk crawls in, then gets beat with a chair a few more times before Funk mounts a comeback with a chair. Nash sets up two chairs, then puts a chair on top of those two and powerbomb’s Funk right through it. That was pretty cool. Honestly, it wasn’t horrendous, but nothing worth writing home about. Nash being commissioner could be decent, if it keeps him from the ring and on the mic, I’m all for it. By the way, during the film Beyond The Mat, they show TWO, count’em TWO, Terry Funk matches that he claimed were his last, no matter what. Foley has often said that Funk is his biggest influence, and it’s never more obvious than when Foley completely copied this match for his street fight with Triple H at the Rumble this same month.

Interestingto note that Terry Funk gets booed here, I guess people were just used to cheering for the NWO so they thought that the NWO were the cool heels here even though that’s not what WCW was going for here.

Nash attacks Funk at the entrance ramp. Funk tries to do his stiff punches of death but Nash just kicks him which is really smart actually. Nash hits Terry with some sick chairshots! Nash sets Terry up for a powerbomb on the table and hits it. I really think they should of saved that spot for later in the match, I mean Nash just squashed Funk. I can’t imagine Trips pedigreeing Taker through a table like two minutes into the match. Nash says that Funk can keep his um, Commersionship if Funk can get back in the ring. Ugh, this is a joke. Funk finally gets in and it turns out Nash was lying. Nash punches Terry around and somehow Funk bladed himself. Nash clotheslines Funk to the outside but Funk kind of hangs on the ropes for a second and then just falls to the outside. Why did Funk even agree to this? This is fucking stupid and he’s not putting over fresh new talent or anything.

Nash beats on Funk for a little longer and then they go back in the ring. Nash has fun with chairs as he works over Funk’s back. Funk gets a punch in and then hits Nash with two chair shots. Funk hits a DDT to boos from the fans for two. Nash hits Funk in his Stuff. They punch each other for a tad until Nash hits Funk with some chair shots. Terry fights back and sets up two chairs in a sitting position… and then grabs another chair? I’m kind of curious to see what he’s going to do here. Okay, he puts the two chairs in sitting position together and then puts the other chair over that but Nash doesn’t want to take that shit and hits his powerbomb on Funk onto the chairs for the win.

Garbage brawls with Nash being too much of a pussy to do anything and Funk taking a bunch of sick shit.

This makes Kevin Nash the Commissioner (General Manager) of Nitro/Thunder/WCW. Arn says this is a nightmare and says that WCW still has power as long as they have the World Heavyweight Championship. Arn Anderson says that everyone who ordered this is a winner. Bullshit!

Holy shit this main event should be pretty long. I’m watching this on youtube and am at 2:15 and this ends at 2:43 This either means ten minutes of celebrating, NWO run in, or Sid’s going to get really blown up.

WCW Title Match
Sid taps out to the Crossface at 14:50

This is easily Sid’s best match since his bout against Shawn at SS96. Of course, WCW had shot themselves in the foot completely at this point. For years, Chris had been portrayed as a nothing, as a guy who lost match after match, and never made to seem like anything. As a result, the crowd as firmly behind Sid, and didn’t pop whatsoever when Chris won the title. They should have at least had Chris act like a heel before hand, something. Either way, it’s a great big-man vs little-man match with Chris cutting Sid down to size, and Sid using his power to catch Chris off guard with some strong offense. It’s nice that Arn is the guest ref. I wonder if him & Sid ever talk about the time that Sid tried to kill Arn.

Something that’s completely WCW, and very annoying is that the entire locker room, well, the undercard at least, has come out to watch the match from the entrance. Now, normally this would actually be pretty cool and really prove the worth of the title. However, they have David Flair & Daffney out there. David is dressed completely normal, without the make-up, acting completely normal. Same with Daffney. They’re just hanging out, watching the match. I find that really fucking annoying, and a perfect example of Russo being an idiot.

One of the odder things about the build up to this show was I didn’t see Benoit on any of the Nitro’s leading up to this in January. I wonder if CM Punk got the idea for geled back hair from Benoit. [Note from Caliber: Here’s to hoping that he doesn’t get any more ideas from him]

Lock up and Sid chokes Benoit in the corner. Lock up #2 and Chris goes behind but gets elbowed by Sid. Sid picks up Benoit and David Falir plus Crowbar come out for no fucking reason. Boo, bring the cell down! I mean you only had the cell for like a five minute Wall match? Sid sends Benoit to the outside and like five wrestlers come out and Mike Tenay says the locker room has emptied out. Sid hits a presslam back inside the ring. Sid hits a nice throwaway suplex. Bobby says that Benoit is like a Cabbage Patch Kid here. More like a Chucky doll. Sid goes for a clothesline but Benoit dropkicks the knee. He does the Bret Hart jumping on the leg on the ropes spot. I actually love that spot and if I ever start wrestling I’m definetly going to use that. I would also like to use the Figure Four Ringpost but the rules on that are kind of iffy. Benoit brings Sid to the outside and puts the steps on Sid’s leg and dropkicks it a couple of times. Sid tries to fight back but Benoit works over the leg.

Benoit tosses Sid back in and gets a two. Benoit into the Figure Four. Sid reverses and Benoit gets the ropes. Benoit hits some chops bringing Sid to his knees and then hits a dropkick to the face. More chops. Benoit rams sid into the corner and then works over the knee in the ropes. So Benoit’s been working over the leg which makes sense since Sid is a big guy…. but Benoit’s finisher is on the neck, is he going to steal Lance Storm’s half-crab finish? Benoit rams Sid into the corner and hits him with more chops. Benoit hits an elbowdrop for two. We cut to the wrestlers watching the match at the stage for some reason. Damn, Sid hasn’t gotten too much offense here. Kind of cool to see Benoit just squash Sid so far. Benoit hits a badass, um, I’m not sure what that is. Its cool though, its a Deathlock but they don’t specify. Kind of like a reverse Indian Deathlock I suppose. Sid finally starts coming back with… slaps! Now we know Benoit’s weakness! Benoit dropkicks the knee again to bring Sid back down.

Benoit kicks Sid in the head a couple of times but Sid catches a kick but Benoit catches him in the Germans but Sid reverses after the first one and hits a nice powerslam for two. If this was Vampiro the match would of been over. Benoit goes back to the leg and does a kind of leg breaker like submission. Sid reaches the ropes so Benoit does a pretty badass thing by going right into a German. He goes up top and hits the headbutt off the top for a two that Sid powers out of. Sid catches benoit with a chokeslam but Benoit’s foot gets underneath the ropes. Benoit hits the Crossface and Sid taps!

Pretty good match. I’m happy with who went over and the match was pretty good. The only problem is the knee psychology didn’t lead to anything at the end. Still this was the only good wrestling match this whole show and had some pretty cool stuff in it. Benoit pulled out some really cool stuff and Sid sold for him. Benoit’s music is really generic here though.

Last Words:

One of the worst PPVs I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine it’ll get any worse, but I know in my heart of hearts that it’s going to, because to have three matches that are 3 stars at least is a generosity that I know I will not be afforded in the future.

This show was pretty fucking horrible with two matches being okay. This show was mind boggling stupid and some of the matches were hard to sit through. Main event is worth watching and everything else is just atrocious garbage that will dumb you down. I’d give this show like 1.0/5.0 just because of the main event. Don’t bother with the rest of this, please. For the sake of your sanity.

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